5 Life hacks. Some tips for you to use, not made by me.. Life Hack Thirsty? Every restaurant in the US is required to give you free tap water. Just ask! Life Ha
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5 Life hacks

Some tips for you to use, not made by me.

Life Hack
Thirsty? Every restaurant in the US is
required to give you free tap water.
Just ask!
Life Hack tta
Mess with telemarketers! Some aren' t
allowed to hang up, so answer the call,
take a shower, have a snack, then say
no thanks"
Life Hack .
If you' re going to a ZOO, wear the same
colors as the employees do The animals
will come right up to you instead of
backing away.
Life Hack
C) utting onions? (C) gurra You
won' t tear up
...
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Views: 44785
Favorited: 157
Submitted: 08/26/2013
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Comments(138):

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#4 - Hightower (08/26/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Let the telemarketer go through the entire spiel. When they get to a point in their script that they pause to wait for your answer say "Don't stop, I'm almost there. "
They hang up quiiiiiiiiiiiick.
User avatar #1 - fuckingdaltonapple (08/26/2013) [+] (17 replies)
Even if telemarketers are annoying, #3 would be a dick move.
#6 to #3 - flemsdfer ONLINE (08/26/2013) [-]
You're right. I had one of those jobs for awhile. My first job actually. You're stuck in a room. A grey room, with solid black blinds so no sun comes in. You go in when it is dark outside, and come out when it is dark outside, and spend this whole day in a bland room full of morbidly obese people squeaking their chairs under the weight as you repeat the same dialogue to people, and getting yelled at. Then you get reprimanded by your superiors if you are too quick or too slow with the call. That's right. You get punished if the person on the other end doesn't let you finish in a certain time frame that's ideal for the company. I was horribly depressed working there.
You're right. I had one of those jobs for awhile. My first job actually. You're stuck in a room. A grey room, with solid black blinds so no sun comes in. You go in when it is dark outside, and come out when it is dark outside, and spend this whole day in a bland room full of morbidly obese people squeaking their chairs under the weight as you repeat the same dialogue to people, and getting yelled at. Then you get reprimanded by your superiors if you are too quick or too slow with the call. That's right. You get punished if the person on the other end doesn't let you finish in a certain time frame that's ideal for the company. I was horribly depressed working there.
User avatar #20 - Onemanretardpack (08/27/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Please don't fuck with telemarketers. They're just doing their job, and it's a mindless and menial job. They really don't need people getting them in trouble with their bosses for not keeping their call times down
User avatar #53 - platapus (08/27/2013) [+] (3 replies)
how is chewing gum going to stop me from thinking about when my mother chocked to death on an onion?
User avatar #42 - roflstorm (08/27/2013) [+] (5 replies)
#3
That is commonly referred to as "being a douche"
Telemarketers are just doing their jobs. Shitty jobs, but jobs they have to do.
Just say no thanks and hang up.
User avatar #5 - leglesslegolegolas ONLINE (08/26/2013) [-]
#3 is the reason why telemarketer jobs make people want to an hero.
User avatar #15 - tomowrath (08/27/2013) [+] (4 replies)
FYI, Telemarketers are real people with real deadlines.

people that have done this probably made someone lose their job.
User avatar #63 - ruebezahl (08/27/2013) [-]
For telemarketers, I sometimes used the Arnold Schwarzenegger sound board:
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The point where they hung up was usually "I'm a cop you idiot!"
User avatar #107 - hamsterball (08/27/2013) [+] (2 replies)
with the onion one, don't eat gum. wear a gas mask, well that's what I do.
#112 to #108 - Dwarf (08/27/2013) [-]
**Dwarf rolled a random image posted in comment #18 at Video Game Facts #25 ** I'm pretty sure that's a beekeeper uniform.
#58 - fuckyosixtyminutes (08/27/2013) [-]
I actually have a silent sound file I set as the ringtone for people I don't like so I just never hear them call.
#39 - anonymous (08/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Story from when I was a little shit. One day, a telemarketer calls and wakes me up.
I answer because my parents are still asleep. A man with a thick accent asks me where my father is.
My mind is racing for a way out of this conversation.
I tell the man that my dad isn't home.
He asks where my mother is. I say she isn't home either.
He asks me when they might be back. I panic and blurt out that my parents are dead.
The man on the phone is a little taken aback.
I proceed to fake cry. And then the telemarketer hung up on me.
#127 - Nameloc (08/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>phone rings   
>pick it up   
>"Hi this is Samantha with-"   
>"Excuse me, ma'am"   
>"...Yes?"   
>"I'm not interested in your product, however I shall return the favor by asking if you would like to purchase my couch..."   
>"Uh-"   
>"Don't worry, it only has a few love stains on it, nothing too noticeabl-"   
>*click*
>phone rings
>pick it up
>"Hi this is Samantha with-"
>"Excuse me, ma'am"
>"...Yes?"
>"I'm not interested in your product, however I shall return the favor by asking if you would like to purchase my couch..."
>"Uh-"
>"Don't worry, it only has a few love stains on it, nothing too noticeabl-"
>*click*
#88 - liamdurf ONLINE (08/27/2013) [-]
Unless the animals don't like the people working there.
Unless the animals don't like the people working there.
#46 - microhendy (08/27/2013) [+] (2 replies)
If you chew gum whilst chopping onions, you will spit all over the buggers. You can't see it, but loads and loads of tiny flecks of saliva will coat them. Don't do it.
User avatar #48 to #46 - taokami (08/27/2013) [-]
or you know, you chew gum with your mouth closed.
#36 - thehandthatfeeds (08/27/2013) [-]
If you didn't know water was free, I envy you. You rich bastard
#29 - thecowmastor (08/27/2013) [-]
What if the zookeepers abuse their animals. Then the animals would either be scared of you or angry at you.
User avatar #75 - nextgenmidgett (08/27/2013) [-]
#3 , dont be a dick they are people with jobs
User avatar #67 - jovisman (08/27/2013) [-]
A law forcing restaurants to give you tap water.I mean wtf what cold hearted bastard needs a law to make them give someone nearly free water especially if you can tell they really need.Some fucking people
#51 - camzore ONLINE (08/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#3, dick move.
#3, dick move.
User avatar #40 - dreaddune ONLINE (08/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I tried that chewing gum while cutting onions. It helped a little it, i cried a little later than normal, but didn't help that much.
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