The Tears of Jesus

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The Tears of Jesus. . one time when I was 6 my mom caught the trying to eat pure sugar out of the container so she stopped and said would you like to have somet

one time when I was 6 my mom caught the
trying to eat pure sugar out of the container
so she stopped and said would you like to
have something even sweater?“ and of
Course little naive 6 year old me said yes
we I would so she said "smell it first and
than deems" and handed the a bottle at
straight vanilla extract and of course it
smelled like the tears of Jesus so I said YES
give me and she let me take a huge swig
and this is why I have trust issues.

...

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Views: 49023 Submitted: 08/26/2013

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#12 - puffolotti

Reply-114

(08/26/2013)[-]

what is "trust issue" ?

#14 to #12 - thijsofbodom

Reply+117

(08/26/2013)[-]

having issues with trusting...

#15 to #14 - puffolotti

Reply-28

(08/26/2013)[-]

sorry. I meant "WTF is "trust issue"?"
It sounds more like a solution, than a problem. Sure, trust is sweet, but what person worth knowing expects it since first contact or gets resented if doesn't gain it within few weeks?
It's good for a kid to develop trust issue, it will prevents many problems and bring in none.

#18 to #15 - pearfield

Reply+11

(08/26/2013)[-]

#60 to #15 - everheat

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

Oh come on, give the guy a break. So he's not great in english, so what?

#90 to #60 - retentions

Reply+2

(08/26/2013)[-]

he is a troll. that or he is just to dumb to use google to find anwsers

#25 to #15 - Kairyuka

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Because you will have no issues when you don't trust anyone. Except maybe people will get fed up by it and leave you. Because god knows that's been happening to me...

#39 to #25 - puffolotti

Reply-4

(08/26/2013)[-]

what the **** 2... humanity nowadays...

is like if a car factory can't manage to produce 1/100 car able to actually run without being pushed.

in your opinion, if we put on the left the functional individuals and in the right the disfunctional individuals... wich group is bigger?

#41 to #39 - Kairyuka

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

I don't blame them though. I've tried the same thing. I've tried people who didn't trust me as much as I trusted them, and that's been an issue for me too. It's not like it's anyone's fault really.

#42 to #41 - puffolotti

Reply-1

(08/26/2013)[-]

what's the problem if someone does not trust you?

he wants you to sign a paper before giving you 10 bucks to buy a book when happens you haven't money with you?

SIGN IT.

he wants you to install a webcam in every room of your home to be sure you aren't plotting covering his house in used toilet paper?

send him **** off.

as easy as this...

#43 to #42 - Kairyuka

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

I think you're misunderstanding. I'm not talking trust as in business trust. I'm talking trust as in love and friendship, two things where trust is one of the most important factors. Also your poor English is giving me a hard time understanding your intentions, sorry :c

#52 to #43 - puffolotti

Reply-2

(08/26/2013)[-]

so whoever isn't indiana jones must have 20 or 30 issues?

to me is big time the world itself grows a pair.
Life isn't for free and is only natural that not everything goes like in the world of Barbie.

#53 to #52 - Kairyuka

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

I don't think you quite understand what I'm trying to say. Either that, or I don't understand what you're trying to say. In any case, I doubt we'll get any more out of this conversation, sorry. Have a good day man

#55 to #53 - puffolotti

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

has been a pleasure; sorry for my poor english, ~~re-improving it is one of the reasons that... bro bhro brouhg brho~~

i hope i'll improve my english ASAP, have a nice day

#162 to #55 - Kairyuka

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

The best way to learn it is to use it man

#165 to #162 - puffolotti

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

Same as Arachnophobia: by facing the problem i will eventually overcome my "english issue".

#168 to #165 - Kairyuka

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

Well if you just take care to write the best you can, and also take in from the stuff you read, you can reach higher than most school level (albeit only in use, not in analyzing it) c:

#22 to #15 - walcorn

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

> it will prevents many problems and bring in none.

Do you even ******* know what it's like to have trust issues?

#45 to #22 - Kairyuka

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

You have trust issues too?

#46 to #45 - walcorn

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Don't expect this to become some kind of group therapy session though

I won't have that ****

#48 to #46 - Kairyuka

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

Nah I was just gonna give you a silly internet hug to express my sympathy

#49 to #48 - walcorn

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

I don't like internet hugs
They seem pointless

#50 to #49 - Kairyuka

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

sorry

#56 to #45 - puffolotti

Reply-1

(08/26/2013)[-]

GALACTICA PHANTOOOOOM!!!!

#37 to #22 - puffolotti

Reply-1

(08/26/2013)[-]

I guess one of the so called: "first world problems"

#38 to #37 - walcorn

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

#47 to #38 - puffolotti

Reply-3

(08/26/2013)[-]

bah, lets add, idk... alchool issues, gambling issues, toxic girl/boyfriend issues, slack issues, painting issues, internet issues, big spenders issues...

...and what we have? too much, way too much people that is considered like a 8 years old kid.

#70 to #47 - tinypoodle

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

"Painting issues"

Oh man i love your English.

#77 to #70 - puffolotti

Reply-2

(08/26/2013)[-]

You mean the other ones i invented on the spot do actually exist ???

I mean, when i read your comment, first i think: "Oh, at least there isn't a "painting issue""

then, overhelmed by sheer horror i realized: moment, does this mean slack issues and big spenders issues do exist?

WOW, it's big time the world grows a pair.

#79 to #77 - tinypoodle

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Well.. Yes.. I am fairly certain they do exist.. How new are you?

#82 to #79 - puffolotti

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

let say some of those reactions above (or below) don't appear to me completely rational and serene.

#85 to #12 - naitsabesh

Reply+2

(08/26/2013)[-]

The intense urge to **** a goat at all times.

Just look at this sexy beast.

#154 to #85 - niggastolemyname#266 on commentsRank#266

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

Goats aren't sexy.

#155 to #154 - niggastolemyname#266 on commentsRank#266

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

Goats. are not. sexy...

#156 to #155 - niggastolemyname#266 on commentsRank#266

Reply+1

(08/27/2013)[-]

Goddamn would you look at that fine goat ass.

#99 to #85 - anygoodnames

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

wat

#87 to #85 - puffolotti

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

a female goat, i would hope

#145 to #12 - gardenmanly

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

It doesn't seem like you know very much english so let me see if I can help in any way.

This post is talking about the person (when they were a child) trying to eat pure sugar. The mother of the child was able to convince them to try pure vanilla extract (which smells sweet, but I believe it has alcohol in it since alcohol is a good extracting agent). When the child took a drink of the pure vanilla extract, they found out that it was not the sweet liquid he had imagined, but instead probably had more of a burning feeling. The mother of the child told them that it would taste sweet, but instead it was a disgusting taste, so they said that now they have "trust issues" which means that they now find it difficult to trust people since their mother lied to them when they were a child.

That's about as simple as I can put it; if that doesn't help then I give up.

#160 to #145 - puffolotti

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

i got it right the first time.

#1 - helldin

-67

has deleted their comment [-]

#2 to #1 - dafuckisthisshit

Reply+87

(08/26/2013)[-]

he probably got horny as **** and started humping things

#8 to #2 - pitch

Reply+3

(08/26/2013)[-]

That seems to be the best wallpaper for you bro.

#4 to #1 - olizandri

Reply+20

(08/26/2013)[-]

vanilla extract smells amazing, but tastes like poseidons salty asshole.

#32 to #4 - killboy

Reply+16

(08/26/2013)[-]

So...It smells and tastes amazing?

#54 to #32 - iridium

Reply+2

(08/26/2013)[-]

It smells really good, but there's a reason you only put like a teaspoon into an entire cake. It's extremely concentrated and is largely alcohol.

#36 to #1 - ramnarainy

Reply+2

(08/26/2013)[-]

Probably got tipsy. Bums drink vanilla extract when they can't get booze. Its like 35% alcohol.

#26 - hueyfreeman

Reply+25

(08/26/2013)[-]

I drank a whole bottle of this delicious **** today and I'm not even sorry

Don't knock it till you try it

#66 to #26 - ohiowildman

Reply+49

(08/26/2013)[-]

#97 to #66 - Javapenguin

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

Well it's only creamer, not sweetener so it really wouldn't be that bad.
Picture is of a legendary mythical "Hoop-Snake"

#111 to #97 - hueyfreeman

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

Nah dude, that **** is like straight sugar and milk. Like really, I might get diabeetus.

#30 to #26 - godhatesusall

Reply+5

(08/26/2013)[-]

Its almost like the coffee ruins it.
I know this pleasure.

#88 to #26 - BowChickaBowWow

Reply+2

(08/26/2013)[-]

I once chugged an entire bottle of snow cone syrup. I shat blue for three days.

#109 to #26 - spainisbad

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

That drink is delightfully delicious

#110 to #109 - hueyfreeman

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

goddamn blank eyes

#164 to #110 - spainisbad

Reply+1

(08/27/2013)[-]

You thought that there was something right? Nope.

#40 to #26 - techniik

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE
THANK YOU

#34 to #26 - priestoftheoldones

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

Some times, I put it in milk. And it tastes amazing.

#147 to #26 - alltimetens

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

I did that once. Shat lava for 2 days straight.

Worth it .

#157 to #147 - niggastolemyname#266 on commentsRank#266

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

#137 to #26 - captainkrobin

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

You will be when it comes out the other end mate..

#135 to #26 - majormoron

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

**** yes I love that ****, but I usually just down one or tow or those tiny cups you find in Delis just cuz I dont want to grow another tire.

#118 to #26 - pikininja

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Can you drink it by itself? Do you really not have to put it in coffee?

#122 to #118 - hueyfreeman

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

Never put it in the coffee. It is 9999% better by itself.

#123 to #122 - pikininja

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

I MUST TRY IT

#113 to #26 - shoryuken

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

i once drank some by accident

#64 to #26 - holycrapimacupcake#360 on commentsRank#360

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Drank one yesterday, ************* Vanilla Caramel.

#6 - handsomeftww

Reply+26

(08/26/2013)[-]

Thought it said "vagina extract" at first, that would be ****** up.

#33 to #6 - whycanticaps

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

well the vanilla plant does look a little like a vagina

#27 to #6 - metalmind

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

That would be something straight out of "the perfume".

#7 to #6 - taurusguy

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

This is a good start for a porn, hey daugther, want something sweeter, AND THEN SHE GETS ****** UP SINCE SHE IS ACTUALLY SASHA GREY!

#9 to #7 - handsomeftww

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

OH MY GOD THAT WOULD BE THE BEST PORNO EVER!!

#10 to #9 - taurusguy

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

You know you have watched too much porn if you actually care about the story, or like me only porn i dont "watch" is gay porn, everything goes... i dare someone to give me some porn i wouldnt enjoy, ive watched a woman get "killed" and then raped, it was all an act by a professional team but still.

#11 to #10 - viscerys

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Have you seen Left4Head?

#21 to #11 - taurusguy

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Yes, havent managed to find all of them, but ive seen a ton of them.

#72 - holyturkey

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

i have never seen or tasted vanilla extract? is it horrible?

#96 to #72 - icametocomment

Reply+22

(08/26/2013)[-]

To quote somebody else:

Smells like tears of Jesus

Tastes like piss of Satan.

#108 to #96 - dross

Reply+5

(08/26/2013)[-]

I too have drank from the plastic bottle of fail, and this is basically it.

That and nutmeg. I went through a phase of checking out all the **** on the spicerack... yeah... not good.

Nutmeg smells like pixies and tastes like a drug lord's cigar ash.

#73 to #72 - Sabre

Reply+1

(08/26/2013)[-]

It's used as a baking ingredient, not to be had on it's own. A few drops in the batter makes for god-tier pancakes, but swigging it... Egch

#129 to #72 - commontroll

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

It's got quite a high alcohol percentage. I've had it by itself, and I love vanilla so much I actually didn't think it was too bad.

I'm a strange person.

#120 to #72 - yowhatsup

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

It smells like it was created by the Gods but your nose deceives you and it tastes like gasoline. The taste lingers around your mouth for about an hour.

#114 to #72 - anon id: f2b24c9d

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

It's about 70 proof. probably stung a wee bit.

#80 to #72 - mookiez

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

It would taste like gas if you straight drank it.

#76 to #72 - sanguinesolitude

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

its bitter and not amazing, but not horrible either imo.

#75 to #72 - seveer

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

Not in small amounts. It's just really concentrated/strong. You only need like a table spoon or so when baking an entire batch of cookies.

#24 - betastory

Reply+15

(08/26/2013)[-]

Kids face when

#133 - acidtroll

Reply+13

(08/26/2013)[-]

I thought she was gonna tell you to eat her out.

#146 to #133 - datgermanguy

Reply+4

(08/27/2013)[-]

The internet does weird things to your mind.

#140 to #133 - scottysglasses

Reply0

(08/26/2013)[-]

This changes my whole view on everything

#170 to #140 - overchaos

Reply0

(08/29/2013)[-]

Ive seen so many gifs of this guy.
who is he?

#44 - amegaara

Reply+9

(08/26/2013)[-]

if you want us to read the whole thing why highlight a certain section of the paragraph...

#116 - lexieexile

Reply+7

(08/26/2013)[-]

Once my cousin gave me a lollipop that was jalapeno flavored.

#124 to #116 - fizzor

Reply+6

(08/26/2013)[-]

Did you grind it with your teeth while looking at your cousin in the eyes and say "Your futile attempts do not work against me, they just fuel my rage of a thousand white hot blinding suns of hateful fury".

#126 to #124 - lexieexile

Reply+7

(08/26/2013)[-]

Nah, I was like 4 or 5. I think just cried or something.

#139 - burningsmurfs

Reply+5

(08/26/2013)[-]

I did that like twice so my mom just filled the sugar container with salt once. ONCE. I don't eat much sweets as an adult I think that day might be to blame.

#149 to #139 - dessydegreemurder

Reply0

(08/27/2013)[-]

I used to pour salt on my plate and lick it off.

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