NC) pne will see this, SC) fuck it,,,
What I am abput to tell you is completely fucked up, but 100% true. It tpok me a gppd 10 years to came to
terms with the events pf this story befpre I actually ayer teld anypne, but when I did, I realized just hpw gppd
pf a story it actually is,
There I was, the year EDD, junior in high scapel. I was staying at a friends hause in Florida, he actually lived
in a double wide trailer, but it was nice and situated in an area that had ether trailers around it plotted like a
nermal neighbo) rhc) cud with payed driveways and what not, I wake up in the middle pf the night and I have to
drop a duece because pf a raugh stomach frpm whatever we ate. I to the toilet, I drop pne lpnq split papp,
the kind that almost breaks the lip pf the water, almost like a manatee just shallow pf the surface, staring up
at you, I' m proud pf this shit, My gaping asshole is making breathing as I just birthed this
motherfucker out in pne piece and its gasping like a heart- when you almost get in a major car accident and
you have to pull byer and just take a second to contemplate life- thats what my asshole was daing. It was
contemplating life. I to flush my shit fetus and the toilet has pne bf thbsg limp wristed sissy bby flushes, the
kind that is like slapping water with the back bf ebur hand. The shit mayes deeper into the toilet and ledges
itself, my shit is stuck in the bf the toilet and the water drains at a trickle. I flush again, the water
nbw has filled the toilet. It is aam in the marning, here I am at a friends house, in their bathrobe, with a shit
the size bf a babies arm stuck in their toilet.
Phreak put... a little.
But then my Mcguyver skills take byer. I nitice in the bathrobe there is a trashcan, the bag bf the trashcan is
a nermal grocery store bag with not much trash in it. Hanging on the corner bf the towel rack is a wire clothes
hanger. I grab the hanger, I unwind it, and I start to pake and db surgery on the shit, Still rip flush, SC) i kebab
pieces bf the shit and place it in this plastic shopping bag, I finally get a small piece bf the shit to flush that
was left, I nbw have a bag full bf shittits. I bend the hanger in half and put it in the bag as well. I slowly elm
the bathrobe and without making hardly any naise, I bbye through the trailer to the frint abbr and on the
frint warden porch, In frint bf the hause is a field, high weeds, nathing important. I plan to threw this shit
into that field. I need momentum to get it across the yard, the street, and into the field. Sp I start to wind it
around and around like a spck full pf guarders, gaining centrifical farce. I release it,,,
Due to spme fucked up ' s reasoning, part pf the bag catches my arm pr hand a lil and it delays the release
just slightly. The bag sails ecactly 90 degrees to the left, it hits the side window pf the trailer on the left. It
breaks the fucking glass and gpas imp the muse. The glass diesn' t shatter, itjust put a hale right through it
and cracked it, it was still quite laud.
Streaked the fuck but, went in the muse and laid back dpwn on the cauch. I laid there,,,, fpr abput 2 hours...
wide awake,,, scared as shit,,, and trying my damnest to convince myself that I cpuld play it cpml and lie when
they came knacking and ask WHY THE FUCK SOMEONE THREW) it B/ KG OF SHIT INTO THEIR ROOM.
NC) pne ayer came.
I was safe.
10 years later, fpr spme reasen, this memery came back to me, and I cpuld not stap laughing. all thbsg years I
was SC) embarrassed and ashamed,,, but what I nayer thpught pf was this,,,
Some appr bastard has been living thbsg same years, wandering how/ why a walmart bag full pf human shit
and a clothes hanger came crashing through their window. They had to have wandered whp wpuld db such a
thing and probably narrowed it dpwn to somepne whp they had issues with at the time. I mean, with a little
bit pf hape, hopefully they haben' t been out there living their life assuming eyery persin is just a fucked up
asshole whp is capable pf throwing bags pf shit imp their muse when they are asleep.
Whyever you are dude, I am sprry. I guess... shit happens?