"IT" happens. yes, you on the wrong part of funny junk..... It's so when that happens yet again
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#4 - runelh (08/25/2013) [-]
I know this feeling too well...
User avatar #11 - deepgreen (08/25/2013) [-]
humans are such a weird species when it comes to ******** . How did we 'evolve' to need half an hour to take a **** and have it hanging in anus hair, cause clots and get infested with bacteria etc whereas my dog takes a **** in 10 seconds and has a sparkling anus right after it.
User avatar #29 to #11 - thereoncewasaman (08/25/2013) [-]
I have raged about this so many times
#19 to #11 - kingpongthedon (08/25/2013) [-]
The hair helps prevent dangerous bacteria from getting in your butt hole, much like nose hairs. Sure, it holds a lot of bacteria, but those were most likely already inside you, probably not really gonna do much harm. But as far as the time thing goes, that's more of a diet problem, eat more bulk-forming fiber and you'll be pushing out solid poops in 2 minutes tops.
User avatar #33 to #11 - blueberrymuffinpie (08/25/2013) [-]
half an hour? damn.
I only need 5 minutes
User avatar #18 to #11 - honedge (08/25/2013) [-]
I may be horribly wrong on this, and if I am I'll take my red thumbs for it, but I believe I saw somewhere that the way we poop today using toilets is unnatural and that the proper or "natural" way to poop would be how would did so outdoors, by squatting while we do it. It supposedly allows the poop to come down much easier.
User avatar #20 to #18 - noket (08/25/2013) [-]
the poop it's also supposed to come out and don't leave any remaining.. but it doesn't go like this because we don't follow our "natural" diet so every time it's different..
User avatar #26 to #20 - mistafishy (08/25/2013) [-]
sort of.

That helps.

But what really does it is the fact that we wear pants. Humans wipe because the little bit of moisture and fecal matter left behind after poop doesn't dry up and flake off after a little while because it's enclosed in underwear, keeping it moist. that causes a rash. That's why we wipe.

I have a feeling I sorta missed the point though...
User avatar #2 - kingsombra (08/24/2013) [-]
It's so ****** when that happens
User avatar #3 to #2 - tdogmeds ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
User avatar #10 - jukuku (08/25/2013) [-]
>That feel when there's no **** when you wipe

It's like winning the **** lottery, man.
User avatar #31 - desuforeverlulz (08/25/2013) [-]
Best feeling ever when you take an enormous **** and you wipe once and you're perfectly clean.
User avatar #39 to #31 - mondominiman ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
It's weird when you take a **** you wipe and there's almost nothing there to wipe..
#28 - qwertyupp ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
baby wipes. your ass will never feel cleaner.
#48 to #28 - Wallinger (08/25/2013) [-]
i thought i was the only one...
User avatar #38 to #28 - oikake (08/25/2013) [-]
I baby wipe, then dry wipe.

otherwise I am left with a soggy bottom, and no one likes a soggy bottom
User avatar #6 - adu ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
Ok, now this is gonna sound gross, but I've found a solution for this, so bear with me.

What you need to do is wad up some TP into some nice strong folds, then gently shove it as far into your anus as you're comfortable with. Standing up after doing this helps retract your anus and get it deeper, so go do that. Bend back over and pull it out, and it should be caked in **** . You only have to do this 2 to 3 times max before you're completely dry, as opposed to 20-50 wipes. Saves on TP and time.
#22 to #6 - noket (08/25/2013) [-]
way easier..
#41 to #6 - tastyhams (08/25/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#46 to #6 - ofc (08/25/2013) [-]
User avatar #50 to #6 - ilikecows **User deleted account** (08/25/2013) [-]
MFW it works

scientists, entmologists, astronauts, lawyers, teachers & firefighters agree

100% true, yes - it works
User avatar #52 to #50 - adu ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
I know right! It's just some TP and people are giving me reactions like I suggested shoveling **** out of their ass with a horse dildo... Though I don't know if that's such a bad method.
User avatar #53 to #52 - ilikecows **User deleted account** (08/25/2013) [-]
I'm not lying either i've done this for ages, always works, never needed much tp, only enough to get the job done so i never really run out.

but... you have to trim the butt hair sometimes, just so it doesnt get too messy
User avatar #54 to #53 - adu ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
Well... that's rarely a problem except for the exceptionally hairy... but yeah I trim anyways for other reasons.

Everything I've said in this thread has made me sound suspiciously homoerotic.
#55 to #54 - ilikecows **User deleted account** (08/25/2013) [-]

embrace it
User avatar #32 to #13 - desuforeverlulz (08/25/2013) [-]
That was the perfect reaction.
User avatar #47 to #32 - clittyrubquick (08/25/2013) [-]
I'm laughing so hard that I made other people laugh and they don't even know why. So thanks for that
#30 - burndt (08/25/2013) [-]
I know that feel all too well.
#45 - thedarkestrogue (08/25/2013) [-]
MFW the majority of these comments.

holy **** .
#56 to #45 - John Cena (08/29/2013) [-]
Holy **** indeed.
#34 - ishotthedeputy (08/25/2013) [-]
Only parks and rec related image I have
#42 - infinitereaper (08/25/2013) [-]
Soap and a dab of water on your tissue does wonders.    
Not only does it disinfect the area it scrubs away the bad stuff.   
 I have bad health so I use the bathroom a lot
Soap and a dab of water on your tissue does wonders.

Not only does it disinfect the area it scrubs away the bad stuff.

I have bad health so I use the bathroom a lot
#43 to #42 - John Cena (08/25/2013) [-]
Magically disinfect things.
Scott help us if you someday have anyone else's safety or health in your hands.
#14 - darthtorn (08/25/2013) [-]
God damn it, clean it with water you unclean idiots!
#16 to #14 - John Cena (08/25/2013) [-]
Who the **** does that actually?
#23 to #16 - noket (08/25/2013) [-]
in europe we do it actually..
#24 to #23 - europe (08/25/2013) [-]
Depends on the country.
User avatar #25 to #24 - noket (08/25/2013) [-]
now it would be awesome if user "Country" shows up, but sadly i doubt it..
#17 to #16 - darthtorn (08/25/2013) [-]
Do what? Clean your **** stained anus with water? Muslim, for starters. Cleanliness is one of the cornerstone of our faith, and its a valid concept. Do you want disease spreading from some stain that can be easily removed by water?
User avatar #37 to #17 - mattpennington (08/25/2013) [-]
if cleanliness of is one of the corner stones of your faith why does the shop they run stink like they have never washed, maybe if they stopped washing the arses all the time there armpits might not smell so bad.......
User avatar #27 to #17 - mistafishy (08/25/2013) [-]
They just don't market budeas or however the hell you spell it, in America. If they did, I'd hop right on board... there's more purposes than one to that contraption...
#49 - thenewneone (08/25/2013) [-]
just wipe before you **** and you save time.
#51 - principepiropos (08/25/2013) [-]
You're just full of **** .
#40 - John Cena (08/25/2013) [-]
most of the time its just a little piece u wipe over and over that was left behind
try getting it out first
#21 - neocortex (08/25/2013) [-]
This image has expired
User avatar #12 - deepgreen (08/25/2013) [-]

Trying to get your anus as sparkly as possible
#9 - epicawe (08/25/2013) [-]
I found a great way to save a lot of toilet paper. you whipe on one side of the paper, then flip it and whipe on the other side.

#7 - John Cena (08/25/2013) [-]
I hate when that **** happens...

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