This is quite accurate. I would add on "goddamn chinks." , I'm the most racist half-asian I know.... Things I Say While I' m Driving Me: What the are  Flying Bacon sandwich

This is quite accurate

I would add on "goddamn chinks."

**** , I'm the most racist half-asian I know...

Things I Say While I' m
Driving
Me: What the **** are you doing. What.
The **** . Are you doing.
Me: NICE BUNKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the **** are we not even
going the speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER
HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT
MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: **** is that a cop? No.
Me. **** THAT is a cop.
...
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Views: 25718
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Submitted: 08/23/2013
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User avatar #9 - zytherman ONLINE (08/24/2013) [-]
the best in-car quote i've ever heard was from my mom

"That indian didn't even look to see if anyone was there, he just pulled out"
"Mom. How'd you know he didn't look?"
"His turban didn't move"
-31
#6 - swaggerwagon has deleted their comment [+] (40 replies)
#10 - iyr (08/24/2013) [+] (7 replies)
Just got my first driver's license at the ripe age of 20 last monday.   
I don't see why teens find it so fascinating. Driving sucks; it's stressful, everybody's an asshole (particularly suv drivers in my area) and where I live there are tons of cops who live just to find reasons to ticket you.
Just got my first driver's license at the ripe age of 20 last monday.
I don't see why teens find it so fascinating. Driving sucks; it's stressful, everybody's an asshole (particularly suv drivers in my area) and where I live there are tons of cops who live just to find reasons to ticket you.
#41 - comeherekids (08/24/2013) [-]
I've said "nice blinker asshole" more times than I could count.
User avatar #3 - midgetmayhem (08/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
i normally just say what the **** and flip off whoever is texting and driving at the same time.
#40 - redstain (08/24/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Some bitch lady was riding my ass down the highway. so I just went the same speed as the guy next to me for a while. Then when we stopped at a red light, I purposely stalled my car as the light turned green. The bitch almost rear ended my. I saw her call me many things in my rear view mirror.

Moral of the story is: You ride my ass, I piss you off as much as I can.
User avatar #13 - downtrail (08/24/2013) [-]
for me, it's more like, "These. ******* . BIIIIIIIIIKES!"

they can't seem to grasp the concept that they're supposed to follow the same traffic laws we follow.
#81 - snakefire (08/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#42 - gastrofizzy ONLINE (08/24/2013) [-]
This could come in handy.
#36 - skyhawk (08/24/2013) [-]
refer to pic for the story
few months ago, i was on the road behind dickhead truck driver and he braked without warning forcing me to do likewise. unfortunately i stopped at a T junction and there was a bloke already behind me so i couldnt move. ginger asshole driver comes up (he's on the phone as well) and thinks i stopped there on purpose. i pull forward as far as i can so asshole driver can go past and i wave and mouth 'sorry'. as he drives around me i hear him call me 'asshole'. INSTANT RAGE CAUSE HE DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT JUST HAPPENED and i shout out as he gets around the back of my car: 'GET OFF THE ****** PHONE ASSHOLE!'. ginger asshole then proceeds to flip me the bird as he's drivin away. so he has one hand on the phone and one flipping me off... a real smart cunt isnt he?
#14 - meandmyburger (08/24/2013) [+] (5 replies)
It gets even worse when you ride a motorbike...   
   
Ever wonder why we ride fast most of the time? It's to keep away from the majority of 						********					 drivers.
It gets even worse when you ride a motorbike...

Ever wonder why we ride fast most of the time? It's to keep away from the majority of ******** drivers.
#1 - merciles (08/23/2013) [-]
Sounds polite to me.
User avatar #43 - mads (08/24/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I'm english. The **** is a 'blinker'?
User avatar #49 to #48 - mads (08/24/2013) [-]
Thank you
User avatar #39 - subaqueousreach (08/24/2013) [-]
Relevant story time! =D
>On my way home from work this morning (like an hour ago from this point in time)
>Doin 100 in the fast lane in a 90 zone (km, I'm in Canada)
>Some dude comes speeding up behind me in a sedan
>Trapped behind me because a truck in the other lane is also doing 100
>Asshole in the sedan starts blaring his horn and I can see him flipping me the bird in my rearview
>I look to the truck driver on my right and we both shrug
>Truck takes the next exit
>Guy in the sedan revs his engine, changes lanes and takes off down the road going at least 120
>Flips me a bird out his window and shouts something as he passes
>Didn't hear him cause I was blaring 3 doors down on my stereo
>He disappears over the lip of the rise ahead of me
>Still just doin 100
>Come over the lip myself and see the guy a ways down the road with reds and blues behind him
>Smile at him as I slow down and drive by

Made my morning
User avatar #33 - responsibletim (08/24/2013) [-]
There's this thing called a turn signal, it's nice to let others know which ******* DIRECTION YOU'RE GOING.
User avatar #78 - hotrodman (08/24/2013) [-]
this is what my mom does: "YOU ******* DILDO!"
#74 - angelious ONLINE (08/24/2013) [-]
i remember my first try at getting drives licence(dunno what you call the test in english)

first turn of the road and biker came out of nowhere i slammed the breaks then yelled out as loud as i could " ******* NAZI COMMUNIST ASSHOLE GO GET YOURSELF KILLED"



then i realized where i was so i asked the guy holding the drivers licence test will i fail because of this


the answer was yes...
User avatar #24 - ireallylikepotatoe (08/24/2013) [-]
English motorways: "Okay guise, we should consider bumping up the speed limit from 70mph to 90mph."

"Why the **** would we do that? Everyone already drives 90mph down it anyawy."
User avatar #91 - DmOnZ (08/24/2013) [-]
My top five

"HOW ABOUT I MERGE MY FOOT WITH YOUR ASS CHUCKLE NUTS?"

"I hope you find a forgotten WWII landmine on that shoulder you line jumping **** "

" ******* ... **** ... you mother fu... ******* DUMPTRUCKS"

"I can hear the ******* super charger on your little rice racer, so if you don't put that ******* thing to use and drive faster I WILL **** INSIDE OF YOUR DREAMS"

"Oh my ******* god... how can someone who's four feet ******* tall and can be blind folded by dental floss get a licence...."

User avatar #85 - grandmabetty (08/24/2013) [-]
In Britain roundabouts and gyratory systems are a common thing, and sometimes you need to wait a while for a safe gap if you're going to cross lanes on the roundabout. But some cunt in a Vauxhall Vectra behind me clearly forgot how gyratory systems work and decided to honk at me as if I was doing something wrong. Just stuck the car in reverse and that shut him up. Must have thought I was preparing to ram his previous Vectra.
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