YOU NEED JESUS. .. Unexpected turn of events!
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YOU NEED JESUS

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Views: 53818
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Submitted: 07/26/2013
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#1 - krisaeron (07/26/2013) [-]
Unexpected turn of events!
#2 - nextgenmidgett (07/26/2013) [+] (2 replies)
#7 - mr skeltal (07/26/2013) [+] (14 replies)
As if a parrot could have such intellectual conversation.
#21 - nightmarecorpse (07/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
if I had a parrot the first thing I'd teach it to say would be "Help! They turned me into a parrot!"
if I had a parrot the first thing I'd teach it to say would be "Help! They turned me into a parrot!"
User avatar #29 - mikaelkid (07/26/2013) [-]
Bet the previous post taught him how to pick locks
User avatar #89 - MotorstormLegend (07/26/2013) [+] (18 replies)
I just want to point out that experiments were conducted which proved that parrots capable of imitating human speech are also capable of comprehending what they are saying, and applying words they've learned to appropriate situations. In other words, the events in this anecdote could actually happen, in theory.

Carry on.
#106 to #105 - notbenstiller **User deleted account** (07/27/2013) [-]
**notbenstiller rolls 88**
Dubs and I win
#3 - RageRambo ONLINE (07/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I heard another joke kind of like this one.    
   
A woman in the middle of the night is thirsty, so she goes to the kitchen for a glass of water. A man breaks through the window. Being a Christian she shouted "Acts 2:38!" and the thief froze stiff until the police arrived. While being arrested a police officer asked him. "Why were you so scared of a Bible verse?"    
the thief responded "Bible verse? What Bible verse? I thought she said she had an axe and two .38's.
I heard another joke kind of like this one.

A woman in the middle of the night is thirsty, so she goes to the kitchen for a glass of water. A man breaks through the window. Being a Christian she shouted "Acts 2:38!" and the thief froze stiff until the police arrived. While being arrested a police officer asked him. "Why were you so scared of a Bible verse?"
the thief responded "Bible verse? What Bible verse? I thought she said she had an axe and two .38's.
#30 - icametocomment (07/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
There's a rottie at the shelter I volunteer at named Titan. He's so calm and friendly and I just wanna cuddle him every time I walk by his pen.
#5 - funnyjunkforlife (07/26/2013) [-]
hfw seeing jesus
hfw seeing jesus
#74 - confusedasian (07/26/2013) [-]
I like to picture stories in my head. So, when I read burglar I thought of a black guy.
#98 - yisumad (07/27/2013) [-]
Burglar's fw
#86 - nortledrones (07/26/2013) [-]
This image has expired
The past 3 posts were about breaking into something.
#75 - bobfaget (07/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#64 - jldragon (07/26/2013) [-]
One of the oldest jokes I've ever heard, and i'm pretty sure I read it in a Readers Digest...
#43 - drhoffable (07/26/2013) [+] (5 replies)
i love my rotty
#33 - asheskirata ONLINE (07/26/2013) [-]
**asheskirata rolled a random image posted in comment #27 at wtf cosplay **

I was thinking "Oh God, not another one of these posts." but in the end, I was pleasantly surprised by the joke here. Normally the posts that start out saying "Jesus knows you're here." or "God knows." turn out to be sappy and retarded, but this one was quite good. 9/10 OP
#9 - hopeful (07/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#45 - superbigfupa (07/26/2013) [+] (2 replies)
**superbigfupa rolled a random image posted in comment #4 at Oh William ** what jesus really is
**superbigfupa rolled a random image posted in comment #4 at Oh William ** what jesus really is
#49 to #45 - guu ONLINE (07/26/2013) [-]
**guu rolled a random image posted in comment #14 at Being Tall ** No, this is Jesus.

man i've had some ****** rolls lately..
User avatar #126 - defeats (07/27/2013) [-]
Hmm, I really could use Jesus in my life.

(I want a Rottweiler or Doberman)
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