Favorite Comeback Ever

I know of another one, I think it was about the battle of Thermopiles.

The Persians warned the Spartans that they had so many bowmen, they will cover the sky and the sun's light with arrows.

To which the Spartans replied "Good, at least we'll fight under a shade"

I cant wait to absolutely crush the Spartans in Rome: total war 2.

Then start a new game and do the reverse.

Sparta's face when

Pfft.
This is nothing.

This is what Sultan Mahmud wrote to Zaporozhian Cossacks:



As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; slave and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians -- I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.

--Turkish Sultan Mahmud IV

Their reply



O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your ***** arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, **** your mother.

You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, *********** of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, Armenian pig, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding Christian pigs. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

And then Philip II of Macedonia has a son, Alexander the Great, who practically owned the **** out of everyone and fought on the front lines, directing the attack. Also, he defeated many armies and conquered many cities. However, each city he conquered, he set free. If they had a diffrent religion, he let them practice their beliefs. If they were slaves, he gave them their freedom. Because of these acts he gained their loyalty. No other king in this time would tolerate such a thing. King of Macedonia, Persia and Asia. Plus, Pharoah of Egypt, the human nature that Alexander displayed was the main reason why the Egyptians made him a Pharoah, and in those times that pretty much made him a god.

But ya'know, Spartas are still cool an' stuff as well...

Or when Tito of yugoslavia sent Stalin a letter after Stalin tried to assassinate him for the 22nd time.
Tito to stalin:
'Stop sending people to kill me. We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle... If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow, and I won't have to send a second.'

And so he never invaded Sparta, sadly enough its because Sparta just wasn't worth the time, at this point in history it was a shell of his former self and on the way out. Later they submitted anyway.

If, if is good.

**yugzer rolled a random image posted in comment #50 at Works Every Time **

x doubt

and them philip had a son...

Why is it that people back then were ten times wittier than most people today?

Too bad if you know anything about them, Spartans got ****** in almost every battle. They inflict great losses, but they still end up getting wrecked

I was just watching 300

The gates of fire may be the greatest novel I've ever read