How Ironic.. Those fuckers wake me up at 7:00am every day and then wont give me candy? Fuck them.. Witnesses . I guess they don 't appreciate rd mum people comm
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How Ironic.

Those fuckers wake me up at 7:00am every day and then wont give me candy? Fuck them.

Witnesses .
I guess they don 't appreciate rd mum people comm; up to their doors,
...
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Submitted: 07/01/2013
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User avatar #14 - EvilWolf (07/01/2013) [-]
1:get black robe
2:wear it when jehovahs witnesses show up
3:when asked"do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savoir jesus christ?" respond with "no, but do you have a moment to talk about our dark lord Satan?"
User avatar #19 - thepyras (07/02/2013) [+] (57 replies)
I have never understood the hate for Jehovah's Witnesses. I may not share all of their beliefs, but I do appreciate when someone cares enough about something to spend their spare time to come to my front door. They're so nice, too.
#34 - firesky (07/02/2013) [+] (3 replies)
I now take delight in afflicting Jehovah's Witnesses.
My favourite method is playing demoniac.

Did you see "The Exorcist"?
I bought myself a pair of white contact lenses.
Then I always have a can of green pea soup at home, looks like Boomer goo.
When they ring I put in my contact lenses, pour myself the soup into the face and put on some horror film music.
At the door I make some strange noises, kind of Darth Vader breathing.
Then I open the door and in my most demonic voice I say: "I have been waiting for you!"

You don't believe how fast they can run.
#1 - tacomanofthenorth (07/01/2013) [+] (15 replies)
god do i hate Jehovahs Witnesses .. this makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside
#24 - anonymous (07/02/2013) [+] (4 replies)
In 20 years of being a Jehovah's witness I have NEVER been out door knocking before 9:00am. We usually meet at 9 get organised by 9:20 and get to the doors around 9:40 - 10:00. Check your facts next time.
#39 to #24 - dedaluminus (07/02/2013) [-]
If you come to my house trying to sell me anything, be it a product or salvation, fuck you. Fuck you firmly in the ass, even if Leviticus forbids it.
If you come to my house trying to sell me anything, be it a product or salvation, fuck you. Fuck you firmly in the ass, even if Leviticus forbids it.
#17 - anonymous (07/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I'm was a Jehovah's Witness and I can fully testify that they love Halloween because of this exact reason, my mother would stack up on literature so that when kids/parents came to the door she would give it too them and talk about why Halloween is wrong.
loved seeing the expression on the poor kids face when that happened.
#53 to #17 - anonymous (07/02/2013) [-]
Something died inside me.
User avatar #43 - usernameluisdjlols ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
my female companion's jehovah's witness, but she still celebrates shit. she likes to live dangerously
#67 - harryblazer (07/02/2013) [-]
I had one of these kids at summer camp once. they arent allowed to celebrate ANYTHING. birthdays, christmas,halloween, im not fucking around I dont think this kid knew the meaning of the word fun if His parents abandoned him in a TOYS R US. since it was summer, there werent any holidays but the 4th of july and we were making those spin wheels things and he wasnt allowed to make one. I had to put him in a room with some legos for the day. his parents even tried to get the camp to not celebrate special occasions like birthdays
#18 - ryokufox (07/02/2013) [-]
related. also good wy to chase them off. just open the door, look them in the eye, and finish like a boss
related. also good wy to chase them off. just open the door, look them in the eye, and finish like a boss
#2 - crazyolitis (07/01/2013) [+] (4 replies)
I once had Jehova's witnesses at my door. At 10 in the morning, during the weekend while I was making toast. Me, having no experience with them, got caught in an argument with them. Took me about an hour before they left.   
   
When I got back, my toast was nothing but a charred mess. The end result was: charred ash, an angry me, and 2 dead Jehova's.    
Next time, I'll just close the door on them.   
   
MFW I saw my toast.   
inb4 cool story bro.
I once had Jehova's witnesses at my door. At 10 in the morning, during the weekend while I was making toast. Me, having no experience with them, got caught in an argument with them. Took me about an hour before they left.

When I got back, my toast was nothing but a charred mess. The end result was: charred ash, an angry me, and 2 dead Jehova's.
Next time, I'll just close the door on them.

MFW I saw my toast.
inb4 cool story bro.
#77 - nortledrones (07/02/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Kill niggas. Burn shit. Fuck school.
#60 - babbylicious (07/02/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Time for a cool stories my bros.

So for a while now, my parents have been answering the door to the JWs. One time, my brother had a friend over who opened the door (-_-). So my mom, being "Catholic", started to talk to the man, and had no leverage while the man spewed bible phrases.

So I decided to take over. Although I am a diest, I still had years of Christian education under my belt. So I talked with the man over theology for the past hour.
He was mighty impressed and requested me that I come over to their services one day, handing me the usual JW things they hand out.

Couple things I learned:
-According to them, Satan came down to the Earth at 1914, when WWI started (o.o)
-The harlot which is mentioned in Revelations is really "false religions"
-They are not there to convert (bullshit)

Ever since then, Tony as he is called, has been ringing on my doorbell looking for me because I do not have a religion. He even left a DVD which I plan to watch eventually.

Guies, I'm scared xD
#57 - ghouleyed (07/02/2013) [-]
**ghouleyed rolled a random image posted in comment #2613870 at Friendly ** Well i've once got my family and me cursed to hell by Jehovans Witnesses since i turned them down at our door.
#33 - firesky (07/02/2013) [-]
"Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?"
"OK, let's start with you afterlife"
User avatar #69 - mayormilkman (07/02/2013) [+] (10 replies)
This has been posted several times as one of those e-cards (one such post reached the front page not too long ago). And you're thinking of hypocrisy, not irony. However, there's a reason why they don't celebrate Halloween and other holidays.

Hurr, going up to the door and telling people politely to go away is so damn hard!
User avatar #38 - dedaluminus (07/02/2013) [-]
My general response is "Ah! Representatives of the creator. Excellent, I have some serious fucking bug reports to file."
User avatar #30 - ManicalMayhem (07/02/2013) [-]
Someone I worked with was a J.W. and they were actually a pretty cool family, however I did learn that they don't celebrate any holiday.
#29 - anonymous (07/02/2013) [-]
Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate peoples birthdays because they believe that their death is more worthy of celebration as they will be accepted into the world once it's been cleansed or some bullshit
User avatar #27 - sightlysuperset (07/02/2013) [-]
Jehovah witness don't celebrate any holidays, not even birthdays.
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