How Ironic.. Those wake me up at 7:00am every day and then wont give me candy? them.. Witnesses . I guess they don 't appreciate rd mum people comm; up to their
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How Ironic.

Those ******* wake me up at 7:00am every day and then wont give me candy? **** them.

Witnesses .
I guess they don 't appreciate rd mum people comm; up to their doors,
...
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Submitted: 07/01/2013
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User avatar #14 - EvilWolf (07/01/2013) [-]
1:get black robe
2:wear it when jehovahs witnesses show up
3:when asked"do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savoir jesus christ?" respond with "no, but do you have a moment to talk about our dark lord Satan?"
User avatar #19 - thepyras (07/02/2013) [+] (57 replies)
I have never understood the hate for Jehovah's Witnesses. I may not share all of their beliefs, but I do appreciate when someone cares enough about something to spend their spare time to come to my front door. They're so nice, too.
#34 - firesky (07/02/2013) [+] (3 replies)
I now take delight in afflicting Jehovah's Witnesses.
My favourite method is playing demoniac.

Did you see "The Exorcist"?
I bought myself a pair of white contact lenses.
Then I always have a can of green pea soup at home, looks like Boomer goo.
When they ring I put in my contact lenses, pour myself the soup into the face and put on some horror film music.
At the door I make some strange noises, kind of Darth Vader breathing.
Then I open the door and in my most demonic voice I say: "I have been waiting for you!"

You don't believe how fast they can run.
#1 - tacomanofthenorth (07/01/2013) [+] (15 replies)
god do i hate Jehovahs Witnesses .. this makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside
#24 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/02/2013) [+] (4 replies)
In 20 years of being a Jehovah's witness I have NEVER been out door knocking before 9:00am. We usually meet at 9 get organised by 9:20 and get to the doors around 9:40 - 10:00. Check your facts next time.
#39 to #24 - dedaluminus (07/02/2013) [-]
If you come to my house trying to sell me anything, be it a product or salvation, 						****					 you. 						****					 you firmly in the ass, even if Leviticus forbids it.
If you come to my house trying to sell me anything, be it a product or salvation, **** you. **** you firmly in the ass, even if Leviticus forbids it.
#17 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I'm was a Jehovah's Witness and I can fully testify that they love Halloween because of this exact reason, my mother would stack up on literature so that when kids/parents came to the door she would give it too them and talk about why Halloween is wrong.
loved seeing the expression on the poor kids face when that happened.
#53 to #17 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/02/2013) [-]
Something died inside me.
User avatar #43 - usernameluisdjlols (07/02/2013) [-]
my female companion's jehovah's witness, but she still celebrates **** . she likes to live dangerously
#67 - harryblazer (07/02/2013) [-]
I had one of these kids at summer camp once. they arent allowed to celebrate ANYTHING. birthdays, christmas,halloween, im not ******* around I dont think this kid knew the meaning of the word fun if His parents abandoned him in a TOYS R US. since it was summer, there werent any holidays but the 4th of july and we were making those spin wheels things and he wasnt allowed to make one. I had to put him in a room with some legos for the day. his parents even tried to get the camp to not celebrate special occasions like birthdays
#18 - ryokufox (07/02/2013) [-]
related. also good wy to chase them off. just open the door, look them in the eye, and finish like a boss
related. also good wy to chase them off. just open the door, look them in the eye, and finish like a boss
#2 - crazyolitis (07/01/2013) [+] (4 replies)
I once had Jehova's witnesses at my door. At 10 in the morning, during the weekend while I was making toast. Me, having no experience with them, got caught in an argument with them. Took me about an hour before they left.   
   
When I got back, my toast was nothing but a charred mess. The end result was: charred ash, an angry me, and 2 dead Jehova's.    
Next time, I'll just close the door on them.   
   
MFW I saw my toast.   
inb4 cool story bro.
I once had Jehova's witnesses at my door. At 10 in the morning, during the weekend while I was making toast. Me, having no experience with them, got caught in an argument with them. Took me about an hour before they left.

When I got back, my toast was nothing but a charred mess. The end result was: charred ash, an angry me, and 2 dead Jehova's.
Next time, I'll just close the door on them.

MFW I saw my toast.
inb4 cool story bro.
#77 - nortledrones (07/02/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Kill ****** . Burn **** . **** school.
#60 - babbylicious (07/02/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Time for a cool stories my bros.

So for a while now, my parents have been answering the door to the JWs. One time, my brother had a friend over who opened the door (-_-). So my mom, being "Catholic", started to talk to the man, and had no leverage while the man spewed bible phrases.

So I decided to take over. Although I am a diest, I still had years of Christian education under my belt. So I talked with the man over theology for the past hour.
He was mighty impressed and requested me that I come over to their services one day, handing me the usual JW things they hand out.

Couple things I learned:
-According to them, Satan came down to the Earth at 1914, when WWI started (o.o)
-The harlot which is mentioned in Revelations is really "false religions"
-They are not there to convert ( ******** )

Ever since then, Tony as he is called, has been ringing on my doorbell looking for me because I do not have a religion. He even left a DVD which I plan to watch eventually.

Guies, I'm scared xD
#57 - ghouleyed ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
**ghouleyed rolled a random image posted in comment #2613870 at Friendly ** Well i've once got my family and me cursed to hell by Jehovans Witnesses since i turned them down at our door.
#33 - firesky (07/02/2013) [-]
"Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?"
"OK, let's start with you afterlife"
User avatar #69 - mayormilkman (07/02/2013) [+] (10 replies)
This has been posted several times as one of those e-cards (one such post reached the front page not too long ago). And you're thinking of hypocrisy, not irony. However, there's a reason why they don't celebrate Halloween and other holidays.

Hurr, going up to the door and telling people politely to go away is so damn hard!
User avatar #38 - dedaluminus (07/02/2013) [-]
My general response is "Ah! Representatives of the creator. Excellent, I have some serious ******* bug reports to file."
User avatar #30 - ManicalMayhem (07/02/2013) [-]
Someone I worked with was a J.W. and they were actually a pretty cool family, however I did learn that they don't celebrate any holiday.
#29 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/02/2013) [-]
Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate peoples birthdays because they believe that their death is more worthy of celebration as they will be accepted into the world once it's been cleansed or some ********
User avatar #27 - sightlysuperset (07/02/2013) [-]
Jehovah witness don't celebrate any holidays, not even birthdays.
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