Your Feedback Matters -
Update on Xbox One
By Don Hattrick, President, Interactive Entertainment Business
All right, you fucking ingrates. You win.
That' s right. We' ll drop the used DRM you can
sell a game veu bought for fucking back Gamestop for in
store credit. We' ll drop the required internet connection
shit tee - even though all of you require CONSTANT
internet connections you can check out all the latest reposted
memes about how "'' is so darn "derpy" (or whatever the fuck
that horse cartoon is saying these days). Hell, we' ll even drop the
region locking, because fucking who cares at this point?
Really, this was our fault. We didn' t realize you just wanted THE
SAME FUCKING CONSOLE AS BEFORE. You know, the one you
ALREADY OWN (but with slightly nicer graphics). We were trying
to do something new. By fireing you to Bennett the internet, we
would be able to guarantee for all games - which
would allow huge game universes that wouldn' t be limited to what
we cerld tit on a disc. By restricting used games, we would guar-
antey that the DEVELOPERS WHO MAKE THE GAMES made
money instead of seme executives at Gamestop, Haha,
but then again, I' m sure you give the same shit to Valve ever
Steam, right? Since they require an internet connection to dawn-
lead games and you can' t resell er borrow games through them.
OH WAIT, THAT' S RIGHT, YOU FUCKING LOVE STEAM FOR
DOING THE EXACT SAME SHIT. FUCK.
But Steam has great sales all the time!" you whine. Sty? MAYBE
WE WOULD HAVE TOO, IF YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN US A
GADDAMN CHANCE INSTEAD OF CRUCIFYING US 6 MONTHS
BEFORE YOU EVEN TRIED THE SYSTEM? CHRIST.
Now the Xbox One and the PSA will be virtually identical! What
kind of censurer group would want "choices" and "options that are
different from one another" anyhow? Now you basementdwellers
on the internet can argue about which system is better by going
ever hardware specs and a handful
exclusive titles instead of the actual substantive differences
between Sony and Microsoft' s next gen consoles,
AGAIN. JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME.
You are all a pack of idiot dogs, barking incessantly. I give up. I' ll
throw you a bone, AN ABONE HAHAHA GET IT???
I WILL GET YOU FUCKERS BACK FOR THIS. I WILL BUY
EVERY FRANCHISE YOU LOVE, MAKE IT KEEN. ONE EXCLS-
SIVE, AND MAKE YOU USE SING FOR 15 MINUTES BEFORE
YOU CAN PLAY THE GAME. MARK MY FUCKING WORDS.
PS - Oh and youve whining about Kinect watching you?
Yeah, because we REALLY want to watch some
sit in their underwear and play Skyporn for S
hours straight. You got us, you uncovered tour master plan -
to leek at your gross, horrible bodies in studio