Official Xbox Statement. Credit to Dorkly obviously.. Your Feedback Matters - Update on Xbox One By Don Hattrick, President, Interactive Entertainment Business
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Official Xbox Statement

Credit to Dorkly obviously.

Your Feedback Matters -
Update on Xbox One
By Don Hattrick, President, Interactive Entertainment Business
All right, you ******* ingrates. You win.
That' s right. We' ll drop the used DRM you can
sell a game veu bought for ******* back Gamestop for in
store credit. We' ll drop the required internet connection
**** tee - even though all of you require CONSTANT
internet connections you can check out all the latest reposted
memes about how "'' is so darn "derpy" (or whatever the ****
that horse cartoon is saying these days). Hell, we' ll even drop the
region locking, because ******* who cares at this point?
Really, this was our fault. We didn' t realize you just wanted THE
SAME ******* CONSOLE AS BEFORE. You know, the one you
ALREADY OWN (but with slightly nicer graphics). We were trying
to do something new. By fireing you to Bennett the internet, we
would be able to guarantee for all games - which
would allow huge game universes that wouldn' t be limited to what
we cerld tit on a disc. By restricting used games, we would guar-
antey that the DEVELOPERS WHO MAKE THE GAMES made
money instead of seme executives at Gamestop, Haha,
but then again, I' m sure you give the same **** to Valve ever
Steam, right? Since they require an internet connection to dawn-
lead games and you can' t resell er borrow games through them.
Right?
OH WAIT, THAT' S RIGHT, YOU ******* LOVE STEAM FOR
DOING THE EXACT SAME **** . **** .
But Steam has great sales all the time!" you whine. Sty? MAYBE
WE WOULD HAVE TOO, IF YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN US A
GADDAMN CHANCE INSTEAD OF CRUCIFYING US 6 MONTHS
BEFORE YOU EVEN TRIED THE SYSTEM? CHRIST.
Now the Xbox One and the PSA will be virtually identical! What
kind of censurer group would want "choices" and "options that are
different from one another" anyhow? Now you basementdwellers
on the internet can argue about which system is better by going
ever hardware specs and a handful
exclusive titles instead of the actual substantive differences
between Sony and Microsoft' s next gen consoles,
AGAIN. JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME.
You are all a pack of idiot dogs, barking incessantly. I give up. I' ll
throw you a bone, AN ABONE HAHAHA GET IT???
I WILL GET YOU ******* BACK FOR THIS. I WILL BUY
EVERY FRANCHISE YOU LOVE, MAKE IT KEEN. ONE EXCLS-
SIVE, AND MAKE YOU USE SING FOR 15 MINUTES BEFORE
YOU CAN PLAY THE GAME. MARK MY ******* WORDS.
Den Maverick
PS - Oh and youve whining about Kinect watching you?
Yeah, because we REALLY want to watch some
sit in their underwear and play Skyporn for S
hours straight. You got us, you uncovered tour master plan -
to leek at your gross, horrible bodies in studio
apartments. Jesus.
...
+19
Views: 5463
Favorited: 7
Submitted: 06/20/2013
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User avatar #6 - ruebezahl (06/20/2013) [+] (2 replies)
That Steam thing is what bothered me about this XBox One ********* from day one. Whenever there's a Steam sale, everyone keeps going on and on about how they will buy so many Steam games, and Steam is great, and Gaben is God, oh Steam how we love you! But nobody remembers that several years ago, Valve was the most-hated IT company for introducing what the XBox One was introducing now.

And nearly everyone has forgotten about how Sony focked over their user community with this whole Linux debacle, how Sony dealt with geohot, how Sony secretely installed rootkits on people's PCs. Oh yes, let's buy a PS4, because Sony is such a customer-friendly company!

Disclaimer 1: I'm a Steam user myself. Just confused about the XBox One ********* .
Disclaimer 2: I'm actually a Nintendo fanboy. Just confused about the XBox One ********* .
#1 - actionjackson (06/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - anonymous (06/20/2013) [+] (4 replies)
you guys realize this article is satire right, go to the ******* website
#7 to #4 - ruebezahl (06/20/2013) [-]
Really? A satire on a joke website? Thanks for pointing this out! My mind is officially blown!
Really? A satire on a joke website? Thanks for pointing this out! My mind is officially blown!
User avatar #15 - norric (06/21/2013) [+] (1 reply)
i never had a problem with the xbox one...and i wear pants for skyrim
#16 to #15 - mistahlegend (06/21/2013) [-]
Why would you wear pants?
#12 - anonymous (06/20/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Too late Microsoft. I don't care what you say or do now, the damage has been done. Sold my Xbox 360 and all my games + accessories. Saving up for a PS4... Kingdom Hearts 3 bitch, I hope you lose billions Microsoft. **** you and your LIES.
User avatar #14 to #12 - atomicsnowball (06/21/2013) [-]
You do realize Kingdom Hearts 3 is on the Xbox one as well right?
-3
#2 - shamrockbandit has deleted their comment [-]
#5 - anonymous (06/20/2013) [-]
Microsoft are a bunch of dumb monkeys and I hope they poop their pants and the poop bursts into flames causing them to burn and get hurt really bad
#3 - anonymous (06/20/2013) [-]
go ahead xbox, be the other choice and see what would happen
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