simple jobs are the hardest to do right. . I //lloll Eia[. >be male gender >be a heterosexual >meet a nice human female capable of reproduction >decide to apply emotions to her >the emotions are reciproca
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

simple jobs are the hardest to do right

I //lloll Eia[
...
  • Recommend tagsx

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#3 - mattdoggy (06/19/2013) [+] (4 replies)
>be male gender   
>be a heterosexual   
>meet a nice human female capable of reproduction    
>decide to apply emotions to her   
>the emotions are reciprocated    
>human female subject offers to provide sustenance free of charge   
>i accept the proposition knowing that it will further our chances of mating   
>upon arriving to the dwelling place of the female i discover it at a hastened pace to prepare sustenance    
>i engage in menial communications to distract the female from the amount of time exerted on it's task   
>the verbal exchanges are successful and the banter was deemed pleasant by the female   
>a set amount of time had been transversed through and the thermal preparations upon the nutrition was nearing completion   
>unexpectedly, an audible alarm was set off with an exceedingly high decibel level     
>the female began releasing a high viscosity fluid from her optical region and declared a self inability at culinary skills   
>this unit retorted with a non serious comment of "well maybe we should learn that the smoke alarm isn't the cooking timer"   
>events then became unpleasant    
>a high pitched screech was emitted from the female to convey displeasure at the aforementioned comment   
>several small projectiles also conveyed the idea that the domicile was no longer acceptable to occupy    
>a rapid egress to a public transport unit, followed by a slow march to an abode where involuntary saline leaking and masturbatory actions took place   
>blame is still rest upon the detecting unit in this one's opinion
>be male gender
>be a heterosexual
>meet a nice human female capable of reproduction
>decide to apply emotions to her
>the emotions are reciprocated
>human female subject offers to provide sustenance free of charge
>i accept the proposition knowing that it will further our chances of mating
>upon arriving to the dwelling place of the female i discover it at a hastened pace to prepare sustenance
>i engage in menial communications to distract the female from the amount of time exerted on it's task
>the verbal exchanges are successful and the banter was deemed pleasant by the female
>a set amount of time had been transversed through and the thermal preparations upon the nutrition was nearing completion
>unexpectedly, an audible alarm was set off with an exceedingly high decibel level
>the female began releasing a high viscosity fluid from her optical region and declared a self inability at culinary skills
>this unit retorted with a non serious comment of "well maybe we should learn that the smoke alarm isn't the cooking timer"
>events then became unpleasant
>a high pitched screech was emitted from the female to convey displeasure at the aforementioned comment
>several small projectiles also conveyed the idea that the domicile was no longer acceptable to occupy
>a rapid egress to a public transport unit, followed by a slow march to an abode where involuntary saline leaking and masturbatory actions took place
>blame is still rest upon the detecting unit in this one's opinion
#5 - emppilaf (06/19/2013) [+] (5 replies)
This is a stick u......OH **** NOT A FIRE ALARM!!!
#1 - Ristay (06/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Be a real shame....

If something happened durring your first dinner date.


#6 - prettyflyforaderp (06/19/2013) [-]
This image has expired
HEY! thats not funny my parents were killed by toast!
#20 - skrewbacca (06/19/2013) [-]
Oh, you're cooking? Let me sing the song of my people for you.
#16 - archiferd (06/19/2013) [-]
And showers that get too hot and steamy

yes I need to replace mine.
User avatar #4 - ohgodwhatthefuck (06/19/2013) [-]
mine seems to go off when you point a universal remote at it for 10 seconds pressing absolutely nothing
#26 - ExorArgus (06/19/2013) [-]
Pro tip: If your toast is setting off your smoke detector. Dump the crumb tray.
0
#22 - CheatCody has deleted their comment [-]
#15 - poniesnstuff (06/19/2013) [-]
Damn toast
User avatar #13 - gurtol (06/19/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Mine went off the other night when i was smoking a joint!
User avatar #21 to #13 - drastronomy (06/19/2013) [-]
3edgy5meeee
User avatar #12 - kyrozor ONLINE (06/19/2013) [+] (4 replies)
My smoke alarm goes off if I have a shower and forget to close the bathroom door when I leave.
User avatar #11 - ADeadlYLepricoN (06/19/2013) [-]
Lightbulb had a stroke.
User avatar #9 - mrfartypants (06/19/2013) [-]
but you must risk your life to change my battery's every time they go dead
 Friends (0)