Butthurt like none other. Ouch. stories? Sure, why not its 3 years old seat nothing but Kraft dinner (mac and cheese) ddon' t peep fer a few days ttention this
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Butthurt like none other

Ouch

**** stories? Sure, why not
its 3 years old
seat nothing but Kraft dinner (mac and cheese)
ddon' t peep fer a few days
ttention this to mam
Makes mete
skives me weird milky medicine
Make medicine
twerking an the biggest **** of my life to this day at age 3
aactually hurts SC) much
god to kill me
jpeg
aged won' t kill me
finally pass a **** the size ma softball out Ma 3 year old anus
aactually pass out
awake upthe next day an atheist because any god that med me would of provided me with a mercy killing in mytine of need.
their: I' m mad God would not strike me dawn mid **** at the age of 8
...
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Views: 31975
Favorited: 81
Submitted: 06/16/2013
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#58 - nigglymcniggerton **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #55 - shugudugs (06/17/2013) [-]
>be a kid
>probably 6 or 7 years old
>anemic, always tired
>because of this, I am always sleepy
>I spend most of my time napping in classes because I'm a lazy anemic ****
>one day though,
>it was Math Class (I'm sure it was Math because I remember who our teacher was)
>be sleepy
>lay my round head on arm chair
>fall asleep
>I dream
>I was riding mah Zoids, it was a Geno Breaker (yeah it was already evolved)
>feel ground tremble because I was firing my lasers
>get so excited
>feels good because firin' mah lazers on them dumb sand civilians
>everyone's screaming in agony beggin' for my mercy
#56 to #55 - shugudugs (06/17/2013) [-]
>laugh at their stupid sandy faces   
>I am the Prince of Death   
>suddenly felt something hit my Geno Breaker (damn you Blade Liger)   
>get shaken up   
>suddenly wake up   
>my Math Teacher was slapping my head   
>the whole class was screaming, freaking the 						****					 out   
>I realize I was pooping   
>I WAS POOPING ON A TRASH CAN NEXT TO MY TEACHER'S TABLE   
>pooping felt good though so I had to finish   
>I could even see piss on the floor and on my Mickey Mouse shoes (that shoes was fine BTW)   
>teacher cleaned me up afterwards   
>MFW teacher touched my butt
>laugh at their stupid sandy faces
>I am the Prince of Death
>suddenly felt something hit my Geno Breaker (damn you Blade Liger)
>get shaken up
>suddenly wake up
>my Math Teacher was slapping my head
>the whole class was screaming, freaking the **** out
>I realize I was pooping
>I WAS POOPING ON A TRASH CAN NEXT TO MY TEACHER'S TABLE
>pooping felt good though so I had to finish
>I could even see piss on the floor and on my Mickey Mouse shoes (that shoes was fine BTW)
>teacher cleaned me up afterwards
>MFW teacher touched my butt
#54 - houstonlt (06/17/2013) [-]
made me laugh more than it should have. Thumb for this post.
#51 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
I have never laughed so much at one post in over 2 years of funny junk
#50 - thekinganon (06/17/2013) [-]
Short and sweet, I loved this story.
Short and sweet, I loved this story.
#49 - augustusxxiv (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh my god that was hilarious, hahahaha   
   
   
   
this reminds me recently of when my friend took a massive 						****					, and decided to take a video with his phone of his face during the ordeal. He was grunting and then screaming and then crying from the pain, it was amazing.
Oh my god that was hilarious, hahahaha



this reminds me recently of when my friend took a massive **** , and decided to take a video with his phone of his face during the ordeal. He was grunting and then screaming and then crying from the pain, it was amazing.
User avatar #47 - thelostsheperd (06/17/2013) [-]
Shabbarbie, I hope you have enjoyed being mentioned, however, I am finished mentioning you. I hope you have a good day, and a nice life.
#46 - harryblazer (06/17/2013) [-]
>be me age 9
>gotta drop a dooker
>for the past 4 weeks ive survived on nothing but TV dinners
>bear grills and got **** on me
>go to the bathroom to the statue of liberity of *****
>suddenly hear a squeak and hissing sound
>assume a pulled a muscle/blew out my anus
>jump of the toilet and yelp like a was back in bible camp
> **** miss fire and torpedos the godamn wall
>mfw the noise was just dad turning on the hose
User avatar #40 - dudenectar (06/17/2013) [-]
Anyone care to tell me what an MRE is? Sounds like horrible.
User avatar #41 to #40 - TimBisley (06/17/2013) [-]
Meal, Ready to Eat. Military rations containing a **** ton of calories and makes you **** cement.
User avatar #42 to #41 - dudenectar (06/17/2013) [-]
Sounds glorious. Thank you fine sir.
User avatar #52 to #42 - ironsoul (06/17/2013) [-]
Three lies in one, its not a meal, its not ready, and no you can't eat it.
Meal rejected by ethiopians.
Meal Refusing to Exit
Meals Rejected by Everyone
Meals Rarely Enjoyed

Take your pick
#37 - guu (06/17/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#34 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Lightbulb pls 'twerking an the biggest **** of my life to this day at age 3'
#33 - lastkingofx (06/17/2013) [-]
Gods FW
Gods FW
#30 - dederplaol (06/17/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #17 - afriasdelrio (06/17/2013) [-]
This is the first thing that has made me laugh out loud for a while, usually I just blow more air out my nose than usual.
#15 - fantomen (06/17/2013) [-]
/k/ has the best **** stories, because every single guy there has eaten nothing but MREs for some period of their lives.
#38 to #15 - teoberry (06/17/2013) [-]
/k/ just has the best stories in general
#39 to #16 - crazyeyedbioll (06/17/2013) [-]
When he tries to get a ride with his squadmates
#32 to #16 - dederplaol (06/17/2013) [-]
>somebody starts the slow clap
>somebody starts the slow clap
User avatar #26 to #16 - redtooth ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
I haven't giggled like such a retard in a long, long time, thank you
#18 to #16 - thamuz (06/17/2013) [-]
I ate a couple of Vegan MREs when I was camping with some friends.   
   
Just that couple was enough for me. I like the normal not vegan ones. But those..were..I was having orbital farts for days..   
   
(I think they were vegan..said soy product on the side)
I ate a couple of Vegan MREs when I was camping with some friends.

Just that couple was enough for me. I like the normal not vegan ones. But those..were..I was having orbital farts for days..

(I think they were vegan..said soy product on the side)
User avatar #19 to #18 - fantomen (06/17/2013) [-]
The US military Vegetarian cheese omelet with vegetables is by far the worst MRE I've ever tasted, I can't imagine how bad Vegan MREs would be.
#20 to #19 - thamuz (06/17/2013) [-]
Seeing as I'm a 						*******					 retard I didn't read the label till after I made them. They are horrible. Bland,and taste like cardboard,puke and 						****					 at the same time. Don't reccomend unless starving. I rather like those tactical sandwiches and lasagna MREs. Just now I always read the labels.
Seeing as I'm a ******* retard I didn't read the label till after I made them. They are horrible. Bland,and taste like cardboard,puke and **** at the same time. Don't reccomend unless starving. I rather like those tactical sandwiches and lasagna MREs. Just now I always read the labels.
#12 - drewsky (06/17/2013) [-]
HFW
User avatar #10 - sinonyx (06/17/2013) [-]
i lreaned the dangers of too much cheese when i was 14..
kraft mac and cheese
added velveta and cheddar cheese to it
didn't **** for 3 days
#9 - Jesusnipples ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
That summary at the end made me laugh harder than the story itself
That summary at the end made me laugh harder than the story itself
#4 - brokentrucker (06/17/2013) [-]
I passed a kidney stone once.

I felt like so much **** that I just laid down in the bathroom floor, pants down, and woke up, in that same spot, some time later, still feeling a little like **** . And THEN, when I peed the ****** out, it wasn't nearly that bad. Was tiny sharp rock.
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#3 - moffe (06/16/2013) [-]
Flagged Comment Picture
This image was flagged 03/03/2014
#57 to #3 - mikaelo ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
holy **** , that was good, fine enough for a movie
#53 to #3 - smokingman (06/17/2013) [-]
"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."
"And that, kids, is how I met your mother."
User avatar #48 to #3 - skilletpanhead ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
This is the only greentext story I've actually clapped at the end of.

100/10 fukken saving.
User avatar #45 to #3 - mrsnowballs (06/17/2013) [-]
Read this a long time ago. It is indeed worth the read
User avatar #43 to #3 - foelkera (06/17/2013) [-]
Some guy punched me because I shat on his mom's bible?

BETTER PUT CP ON HIS COMPUTER FOR REVENGE
User avatar #36 to #3 - ompalomper (06/17/2013) [-]
now that you read the whole thing i bet you forgot that the original picture was a bird sitting on a dildo
#35 to #3 - noutvissers (06/17/2013) [-]
******* lost it at:

"Start releasing the colon-ctuhlhu a fraction of a sec before my ass ham-slapped the toiled seat."
User avatar #29 to #3 - samous (06/17/2013) [-]
this should be a movie
#24 to #3 - jesuscf (06/17/2013) [-]
I 						*******					 love stories like these....but this one...this one is fking special I have to save this.
I ******* love stories like these....but this one...this one is fking special I have to save this.
User avatar #23 to #3 - scarypurplemonster ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
And this all started from eating Taco Bell.
#22 to #3 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Best style is indian style. Wash your **** with hand and water.
#21 to #3 - najar (06/17/2013) [-]
That was perfect    
Unrelated gif
That was perfect
Unrelated gif
#14 to #3 - benstillerphaqqot (06/17/2013) [-]
That, was just...
That, was just...
User avatar #8 to #3 - Crusader ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
I always hated that, the dude was a sack of **** .
HE ****** up
HE was the one who was too much of a ***** to ask for some TP
HE was the one who didn't just move on with his life, if he had moved on everyone else would have as well

And then he ***** with the dude 15 years later
#27 to #8 - CHODYTHEBLAKGUY (06/17/2013) [-]
he shoulda asked for tp but he didn't **** up really he made a small bad decision which for some reason had huge repercussions. when he was in well boot camp he didn't **** up his old problems came back to haunt him and the drunk guy who hated him caused him more problems and got him kicked from there. everything else is the dude finding his own way through life and learning to live with himself for what has happened to him but anyone would get revenge if something like that happened I mean the dude was his friend and didn't even bother to ask for an excuse to what happened he just assumed the worst and spread rumors all over the school and got everyone to hate him for it
#13 to #8 - ventriloquist (06/17/2013) [-]
its a ******* copypasta on 4chan
User avatar #7 to #3 - lexivex ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
Good god, that was amazing
User avatar #6 to #3 - tehskyizblue (06/17/2013) [-]
That was ******* amazing! Worth the read!
User avatar #5 to #3 - Heracross (06/17/2013) [-]
That was well worth the read. Thanks.
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