English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?. . English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better tha
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English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?

English Pronunciation
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better
than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he' d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six
lines aloud.
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and swam, retain and Britain.
Mind the latter, how it' s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, , mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciations OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Reoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and awe.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’ t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It' s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
English Pronunciation by G. Holst Trengte
...

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #2 - settlwlvs (06/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
if you read the whole ******* thing, you have a better attention span than 90% of Americans.

I got 8 lines in and was too bored to continue.
#5 - Womens Study Major (06/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I had to google the word "Terpsichore".

Other then that...
User avatar #6 to #5 - doigboiger (06/03/2013) [-]
'Other then that'

I really hope that's irony.
User avatar #9 - shinigamigod (06/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Being British, this was a bit too easy...
User avatar #7 - ozthebest ONLINE (06/03/2013) [-]
My Dad made me learn how to pronounce this perfectly when I was younger. I forgot it all.
+1
#11 - shampu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #18 - Lambda (06/03/2013) [-]
I just had to read the whole thing. I sort of want to practice reading it to the point where I can just go through the whole thing smoothly, because it's lovely and has great rhythm and flow to it.
#17 - animelovers ONLINE (06/03/2013) [-]
User avatar #16 - danniegurl (06/03/2013) [-]
I only got tripped up on some of the proper nouns
User avatar #13 - dragonicangel (06/03/2013) [-]
Pretty interesting.
#12 - qwertyninja (06/03/2013) [-]
That was fun.
#10 - guruxz (06/03/2013) [-]
it's a poem with really good rhythm
thats absolutly ungodly to read
User avatar #8 - lothet (06/03/2013) [-]
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Now y'all get busy!!!!
#3 - Womens Study Major (06/03/2013) [-]
I was good until the end dear lord it gets bad.
#1 - bdowns (06/02/2013) [-]
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