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Party Hard

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Submitted: 05/14/2013
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#23 - whoisthatguyable (05/15/2013) [+] (21 replies)
I remember there was this fat bitch at my school, who would always pick on the smaller girls saying that they don't have "Curves" Of course they didn't give a **** , and neither did anyone else. But the one day, fat bitch starts going off on this one girl, who is about five foot five, weighing about 90 pounds. Tiny girl. So fat bitch starts bitching at tiny girl, giving her **** because she lost at least twenty pounds in the last few months. I have no idea how she knew that, but other girl starts crying. She says to the fat bitch that she has an autoimmune disorder and her medication makes her lose dramatic amounts of weight. This hits close to home for me, because my sister has the same problem. Anyway, fat bitch has the nerve to say,"You're a lying **** you anorexic bitch" So I ask her what her excuse for being overweight is, and she says that its from depression. So I say,"What the **** do you have to be depressed about?" And she says because of the death of her parents. So I, in all of my wisdom and witty humor, say,"Did you eat them?" All 200 student in the cafeteria begin laughing their asses off. Fat bitch cries and runs out. Whoisthatguyable saves the day. Thin girl gives me a hug. Fat bitch tries to sue me for harassment, instead gets written up for bullying. Of course everyone forgot about the whole thing a week later but I think it was funny :/

TL;DR Fat bitch gets told, whoisthatguyable is hero of the day
#7 - grindor (05/14/2013) [+] (17 replies)
User avatar #15 - tehcashew (05/14/2013) [+] (5 replies)
>Be 18 at friends house
>fat **** free-loader who lives at his house comes over later on
>everything fine for a couple hours
>then ******** says I bet I could take you Anon, you look like a pussy
>look at him "You sure"
>I'm 6'1" and 205lbs mostly muscle, wrestled, played football and ran track for 3 years
>Best friend is 6'8" or so and around 325, makes me look small
> ******** "yeah I know I can"
>Me, standing up, "alright. Try it then"
> ******** charges me with the force of a thousand doughnuts
>I make slight side-step, grab shoulder, use his momentum roll him mid-air
>His knee touches ground
>breaks on contact
>Makes sound of branded dolphin
>Best friend laughing his ass off
>lean down to ********* ear "Are you sure? Are you totally sure"
>he hides when I come over now
#1 - sorrybut (05/14/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #13 - kikisu (05/14/2013) [+] (40 replies)
>Walking down hall at high school
>Average build girl
>Trying to get to class on time when the traffic starts to slow
>Thar she blows!
>Whale McLardass standing in the middle of the hall talking to slightly smaller elephant seal friend
>Oh hell no
>Don't move from my path as I walk past, giving the whale my shoulder
>Glad I didn't break anything
>Whale turns around, screams "What where you're goin' you fat bitch."
>Turn around
>"It was hard to see my way with your tail fin in the way you cunt."
>Bitch goes into attack mode, comes near me
>"Say that to my face."
>"If I do you might eat it."
>She walks away in tears
I see her from time to time in the hall, doubt she remembers me. Usually talking about how all men are pigs.
#172 - TheCynic (05/15/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I dated a girl in high school who was about a 6/10 I guess. She wasn't fat, but was very curvy with an average waste. She was concerned, however, that she was fat. So she became bulimic and old me about two months into the relationship. I try to help her through the issue, give her encouragement and tell her her body is just fine, etc.

Eventually, she breaks up for me for her asshole ex. He doesn't take her back, and she immediately comes back to me. For three months, she practically begs for me to take her back. When she finally shuts up, I find another girl and date her instead. Out of the blue, old girlfriend texts me and says she wants to hang out. I tell her I can't because I'm dating someone else now. She begins flipping **** when I try to explain to her how it works. She starts calling me ugly and **** .

I warn her twice not to play this game with me.

"You'll never date anyone prettier than me!"
To which I respond,
"Bitch, you have to throw up to feel pretty."

She didn't respond. I haven't heard from her ever again.
#184 - tigasingy (05/15/2013) [-]
Personal Fav
#190 - thebannedzombie (05/15/2013) [+] (4 replies)
Long, but so ******* worth the read...
#93 - patriotpenguin (05/15/2013) [-]
me and friends at my friend joeys  cabin playing our weekly warhammer 40k tournement,and just hanging out    
joey calls, tells us hes gonna be  a bit late   
ah well,commence with the tournement!!   
my turn to battle , start setting up orks, we hear a bang outside    
look out the window and see the local collages frat boys had a bus that broke down just a bit from the driveway    
they take the party inside the cabin,giant cluster of people swarm the table to watch the battle.   
Half hour in the fratboys are loaded drunk and some are cheering me on and others were cheering on my friends imperial gaurds   
a squad of tank bustas destory a leman russ that got mamed by a looted wagon,frat boys on my side of the room start cheering    
my friend harrys baneblade takes a pot shot at flash gitz , misses and completly obliderates  a squad of ork boyz and grotz   
likewise the other side starts cheering then   
about at 3ish in the morning the cops come   
open the door, see a bunch of frat boys chanting urgs (too drunk at this point to say orks) while lifting me off the ground   
laugh their asses off and leave    
NEXT DAY    
wake up, all my stuff is neatly packed up,my friend joey got to the party when everyone was passed out and packed up our models ( turns out the same cops caught him speeding to the party)    
frat boys are gone, urgs is spray painted on the wall   
joey asks how the game was   
mfw
me and friends at my friend joeys cabin playing our weekly warhammer 40k tournement,and just hanging out
joey calls, tells us hes gonna be a bit late
ah well,commence with the tournement!!
my turn to battle , start setting up orks, we hear a bang outside
look out the window and see the local collages frat boys had a bus that broke down just a bit from the driveway
they take the party inside the cabin,giant cluster of people swarm the table to watch the battle.
Half hour in the fratboys are loaded drunk and some are cheering me on and others were cheering on my friends imperial gaurds
a squad of tank bustas destory a leman russ that got mamed by a looted wagon,frat boys on my side of the room start cheering
my friend harrys baneblade takes a pot shot at flash gitz , misses and completly obliderates a squad of ork boyz and grotz
likewise the other side starts cheering then
about at 3ish in the morning the cops come
open the door, see a bunch of frat boys chanting urgs (too drunk at this point to say orks) while lifting me off the ground
laugh their asses off and leave
NEXT DAY
wake up, all my stuff is neatly packed up,my friend joey got to the party when everyone was passed out and packed up our models ( turns out the same cops caught him speeding to the party)
frat boys are gone, urgs is spray painted on the wall
joey asks how the game was
mfw
#242 - maciejj (05/15/2013) [+] (7 replies)
>Be me in hs, gay and anorectic (6 feet tall, weighing 120 pounds)
>Fat bitch, or, small and fat bitch
>not only fat, obese
>Walks up to me
>Hey, maciejj, why are you a gay faggott??????????????????
>I don't say anything and just walk on
>for the next two weeks, everytime she saw me she just went like: "Faaaaggot, faaagoot, faaggot"
>Getting fed up with her ****
>one day she hits me while she calles me a faggot
>push her arm away, the fat is shaking
>I get mad
>"Listen here, you fat landwhale bitch. Yes, I am a faggot, but at least I'm not a ******* whale."
>She gets red
>While shaking and being red she tells me that she's fat because of the medication she takes.
>A bunch of people get around to watch
>Alphamode, on.
>"What kind of medicatiion? Hamburgers and cock?"
>She get even more red
>"You faggot, it's because I have a back pain all the time!"
>Doublealphamode, on.
>"It's because your fat is too much for your back to handle, isn't it?"
>Everyone taking my side, starting to clap
>Landwhale runs away crying
Later I found out that it actually was because of the fat being too much for her back
She got in trouble for calling me things and I was so damn proud, feels good.
#115 - climatus (05/15/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#87 - sonofposeidon (05/15/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Posted not too long ago. hella relevant.
User avatar #53 - deathcampforjewtie (05/15/2013) [+] (3 replies)
>be at the beach
>me, 3 guy friends, 2 girls I hung out with, and one of their fat friends
>she brings donuts and chips for us all
>eats almost all of them, hides chip bag in sand so nobody takes them
>eats my food while I'm not looking, doesn't ask
>tells me and another kid to "give her money for fried dough"
>"no."
>she freaks out
>starts ranting about how she brought the most food and deserves to be treated nicely
>still say no
>she storms off and comes back 10 minutes later with a fried dough
>one of my friends grins and says "What, you didn't buy me one?"
>she's visibly mad now
cut to 3 hours later
>we're packing up to go home
>I see her sunglasses on the beach
>I grab them and bury them in the sand
>we pile up into my car
>I tell her that she doesn't have her sunglasses
>"I'll be right back, don't leave without me"
>leave without her
User avatar #94 to #89 - deathcampforjewtie (05/15/2013) [-]
Well the ocean was right there, so she probably swam out to meet the rest of her pod. In all seriousness though, I heard from a friend that she got a ride home, I ran into her a few months later and we talked about it, she ended up apologizing and so did I.
#41 - jinapayne (05/15/2013) [+] (5 replies)
>Implying everyone at the party gets LOTR references
#46 to #41 - cthumoo (05/15/2013) [-]
everyone know lotr...

to be fair they still screamed in a Scottish accent, whether they got it or not
User avatar #208 - timmywankenobi (05/15/2013) [+] (5 replies)
>be me back in grade 9 ,shy kinda nerdy guy
>see morbidly fat girl jenny getting picked on by other girls for being fat .
>feel bad for her.
>Decide to be nice to her and try to be friend
>start talking to her asking her about her day and trying to cheer her up
>she seems a little happier till some popular girls walk by and then she pushes me full force into lockers on the other side of the hall and shouts "eww get away from me you creepy nerd !"
> a little offended but figure she is just trying to impress popular girls so ignore it
>3 weeks pass
>she is upset and crying because no one has asked her out to big dance
>decide to try to become her friend again by asking her to dance
>she say's she would rather stay home and kill herself then be seen with a disgusting nerdy creep like me .
>temper flares volume control lost,everything goes red yell loudly " you're a real bitch you know that ,I mean did it ever cross your mind at any point that maybe people don't like you not because you fat but because your a giant mean spirited ******* bitch who has the hygiene and appearance of a six week old cantaloupe and the personality of a decayed beached whale !! "
>whole hallway goes silent for what felt like 3 or 4 minutes
>jen starts crying and wailing and runs out of the school
> kinda in shock not sure what I just said and kinda feeling bad about it
>everyone starts unexpectedly cheering and clapping
>mentally handicapped kid starts singing ding dong the witch is gone
>jen never comes back to school
>I am treated like a hero for like a week
>still not entirely sure what happened.
#91 - prontoon ONLINE (05/15/2013) [+] (1 reply)
oh lord, i absolutely hate this one fat lard ass in my school. Every day this whale sneaks her large manatee friends into the school so they can all eat together in the library. normally i wouldnt mind this however every time they show up with the food court in their purses they go into full grime mode
"oh god, i havnt shaved my pits for a week, look how hairy they got"
"atleast they dont smell like mine, i smell like a sewer. here smell 'em"
every day these McDouble sized girls sit, eat for 25 mins, fart loudly that the floor rumbles with the intensity of a 6.0 magnitude earthquake
#19 - faithrider (05/14/2013) [-]
excellent.
excellent.
User avatar #83 - mcbrosephson (05/15/2013) [-]
Be junior year in High School (my high school has a student body of about 300 something kids, 82 in my class). Our school is an old church plus it's side buildings and the hallways feel like you're being crammed into a sardine can. I was and am 6'3'' so I am fairly the tallest kid and am able to see above the short stature of the hispanic majority of the school. I am stuck in hall traffic going to lunch. As I wait for the horny couples to move from the path, I hear the voices of the cafeteria slowly die down and two girl voices become the loudest. Bonquiqui the Lard and Watermelondrea the Planet Shaped are starting to argue over over horny black dude about who is the better "lover". As the two get closer and in each others face due to their gravitational orbit, the horny negrite says "I still can't tell who's booty is bigger" (which of course was foolish to say considering that whenever those two sat down it looked like the entire chair was slowly being engulfed by a black blob). Lard and Planet Shaped finally start to brawl for the the horny beta. None could ever be dominate in this fight because when they tried to pin the other down, they would roll off of each other (imagine stacking a ball on top of another one). As the fighting commences one student throws food on top of them just before one of the teachers finally does something about it. The teacher (our all around math teacher who also lifts) grabs the two and just as he is about to pull them away to the principles, he slips on beans or some **** that was supposed to be beans and pulls the fat asses down to the grave with him. Needless to say, that both girls ended up on top of him and cracked a rib in his body. To this day, my former mathematics teacher has a prejudice against anyone fatter than the definition of fat.
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