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User avatar #16 - ShadeElement (05/04/2013) [-]
My wife and I are expecting twins.
In about 4 months you are going to make me look like a GENIUS.
I thank you.
#564 to #16 - dragontear (05/05/2013) [-]
good luck
#541 to #16 - georgesmoustache has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #596 to #539 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
Omg a raptor would be win.

I think the reason people say "expecting" is because even with todays medical tech, you're never quite sure. It could be twins. It could be a little girl and a dead baby. Until they both come out breathing and healthy, you can't be sure.

Being an expecting father has to be the most helpless feeling in the world. Its all in your wife's hands (or womb, I should say). Its up to her to eat right, rest enough, take her vitamins etc. You just have to watch and wait. Your entire world could come crashing down and there is litterally NOTHING you can do to help.
#527 to #16 - bigshowsteveo (05/05/2013) [-]
#523 to #16 - sphinxe (05/05/2013) [-]
Good luck!
Good luck!
#453 to #16 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
how did you have sex so that your wife gets pregnant to twin? what style and how long? do we have to come inside?
#390 to #16 - ohaibrooooh (05/05/2013) [-]
I daresay, I wish you the best of luck, my good man.
User avatar #372 to #16 - onionbubs (05/05/2013) [-]
I really want to have identical twins.
Lets say, for arguments sake, that the twins are called Jeff and Toby.
I'll tell all my friends that I had triplets (and photoshop the pic of them). I'll say that baby #3 is called Jake.
Then, when with friends, I'll pick two names out at random. Even though I have Jeff and Toby, I'll say I have Jake and Jeff, and the wife is looking after Toby.
Eventually, people wont even doubt that I have triplets.
Then they come round my house, and I say "here is Jeff and Toby!" and they're like "where's Jake?" and then I pretend I lost him and [insert punchline here, I forgot where I was going with this story]
User avatar #377 to #372 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
We plan on eventually telling the twins they were actually triplets, but he didn't behave...
User avatar #378 to #377 - onionbubs (05/05/2013) [-]
dude thats some good psychological parenting...
User avatar #369 to #16 - localcatbarber (05/05/2013) [-]
Call them Batman and Robin. I double ******* dare you.
User avatar #376 to #369 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
Ok, we actually discussed this. Let me list the points my wife made-

Batman wasn't Batman's name. It was Bruce. Now if our son turns out gay, we're set, but we can't in good conscience name a straight man Bruce. You almost HAVE to lisp saying it.

According to my wife, naming our daughter Robin would only remind her of Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother. (Yet she picked Lily. I was going to point this out, but I've learned you don't purposely argue with a hormonal pregnant woman.)
User avatar #561 to #376 - gunni (05/05/2013) [-]
If you name her Lily she'll be a wizard
#559 to #376 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
Are you callin' BRUCE CAMPBELL gay????
#487 to #376 - goldengohan ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
Bruce is a risk, it's hard to tell if a kid is gay for the first decade of their life
User avatar #426 to #376 - localcatbarber (05/05/2013) [-]
There are people who can make people straight. If he turns out straight, I'm sure they can make him gay.
#364 to #16 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
i'm a twin. fyi, it will be very hard but very rewarding in the end. will they be boys or girls?
User avatar #368 to #364 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
One boy, one girl according to our latest sonogram.
#351 to #16 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
what the **** are you doing on funnyjunk? i can't be the only one thinking this...
#310 to #16 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
too bad this is just this guy imagination on bed while he was in a coma
User avatar #278 to #16 - leown ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
good luck with the children :)
#221 to #16 - pappathethird (05/05/2013) [-]
#99 to #16 - primerpower (05/05/2013) [-]
Number one dad tip

User avatar #18 to #16 - qubot (05/04/2013) [-]
always happy to help what u planing on naming your twins
#588 to #18 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
I want twin girls
I would name one Sierra and the other Savannah
Both biomes, but both beautiful names
(you can't just name a kid Tundra or some **** that's just retarded)
User avatar #23 to #18 - thatscrewedupkid (05/04/2013) [-]
im naming my next kid if a boy Jack Daniel and if a girl Zelda Lynn.
User avatar #19 to #18 - ShadeElement (05/04/2013) [-]
Fraternal twins. Boy and Girl.
Gunnar Carl (pronounced Gunner, its swedish) and Lily Danger. Yes, danger IS her middle name.
#562 to #19 - chosencausefuckyou **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#555 to #19 - lordmoldywart (05/05/2013) [-]
I can't begin to imagine how much your kids are going to be bullied when they're in school
User avatar #592 to #555 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
Kids are cruel. It doesn't matter what your name is. They will find a way to mock it.
User avatar #597 to #592 - lordmoldywart (05/05/2013) [-]
But you are making it easy for them...
User avatar #598 to #597 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
Gunnar is an awesome name.
It means Soldier or Warrior in Swedish.
Lily is pretty, and you can't get much cooler than having your first attendance call of your first day of school reveal that Danger is your middle name.

Anyone who makes fun of those are just haters. And haters gonna hate.
User avatar #600 to #598 - lordmoldywart (05/05/2013) [-]
You're giving them something to play on, and it will be one of the first things a bully would pick up on
User avatar #601 to #600 - ShadeElement (05/06/2013) [-]
You are the only one who seems to find it mockable rather than awesome. I think their classmates will feel the same way.

My wife's American classmates called her Car Insurance because of how the swedes pronounce Karin. Grown ups still giggle at my Bosnian friend when he introduces himself as Enis. I was called Dumbo for my large ears as a kid. In highschool I got the unfortunate nickname of Dangle because of how my friends little sister mispronounced Daniel. I remember one kid showed up to first grade in a cast. For all I know he's still called Crutchy.

Kids are mean. Some douches never grow out of it. Its not gonna stop us from naming our children something distinctly us.
User avatar #603 to #601 - lordmoldywart (05/06/2013) [-]
I'm just stating the obvious. Your attention seeking is only going to harm your kids. It is how it is
User avatar #604 to #603 - ShadeElement (05/06/2013) [-]
Excuse me? Attention seeking?

You assume too much sir.
First of all, my in-laws are proud Swedes. Gunnar is a perfectly normal Swedish name. In fact, Gunnar is a family name, after her Grandfather.

The middle name Danger is hardly attention seeking. Its a ******* MIDDLE name. Think of all the people you know, how many of them do you know their middle name? I'm willing to bet its only a handful of your closest friends and family. So forgive us for wanting to add a little levity to our family and something endearing for her friends.

Its not like we are giving her a first name Apple, or Peekaboo, or The Edge.
We put a lot of thought and affection into naming our children. If you don't like it, name your kids John Smith for all we care.
User avatar #605 to #604 - lordmoldywart (05/06/2013) [-]
Nothing wrong with Gunnar, my point was aimed at Danger, the only weird name out of all of them
User avatar #606 to #605 - ShadeElement (05/06/2013) [-]
In many cultures you are given two names.
A private name known by only your closest friends and family,
and a public name used formally by everyone else.

The closest thing we have to that in Western culture is a middle name. Your first and last names are what you are formally addressed as by the general population. Your middle name is almost entirely unknown to anyone but your inner circle, and pretty much only ever used by your mother. Mom using your full name lets you know you're in deep **** . Your middle name is often the most personal thing a family gives you. Often it is in honor of an ancestor, great friend, or even a meaningful memory.

Also, in our ever connected world, you are bound to have a duplicate first and last name many times over. Often the only thing outside of a government issued personal identification number that will distinguish you from any other John Smith is your middle name.
My experience has taught me the more unique this is, the better. Receiving a court summons or traffic ticket intended for someone else is never fun. Trust me.

I'm sorry you don't like the middle name of Danger. Chances are you'll never meet our daughter, and even if you do, chances are even slimmer you'll ever know or even use her middle name. Hell, if she doesn't like it, she never has to use it either. That's the great thing about middle names. They are personal, private. Something given to you by your parents to make you unique. Even if no one else knows it but you.

They are anything BUT attention seeking, and if she's really worried about bullying, she doesn't have to let anyone else know. Although unless she runs into your kid, I think Danger will win her more cool points than anything.

User avatar #442 to #19 - UberAndrew (05/05/2013) [-]
Make sure she grows up to be awesome and not a hipster or a facebook bimbo.
You can't have Danger as a middle name and NOT grow up awesome.

Try and get her into extreme sports. She's get her own reality show in a heart beat.
User avatar #593 to #442 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
Her grandfather was a downhiller and is now a ski coach. Her mother raced Super G. I have been informed both kids will be skiing before they can walk. We bot the extreme sports covered.
User avatar #272 to #19 - alltimetens (05/05/2013) [-]
You're lucky you don't live in the U.S. You're child would probably have to go through a name-change before she would even step into school.
User avatar #332 to #272 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
We DO live in the U.S.
Thankfully we live in Alaska, where people aren't scared of their own shadows.
User avatar #237 to #19 - vegardwd (05/05/2013) [-]
you should have called them Luke and Leia
#227 to #19 - headhunternl (05/05/2013) [-]
Why did my parents not give me the middle name Danger   
they probably don't love me
Why did my parents not give me the middle name Danger

they probably don't love me
#61 to #19 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
how would gunner do at an airport?
User avatar #68 to #61 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
The same thing his daddy does. Ask the TSA agents how many terrorists they've caught and tell people to stop being pussies and get on the damn plane. If a jihadist can take over the plane with a nail file, then I can strangle him with my headphone cord.
User avatar #353 to #68 - revanthewin (05/05/2013) [-]
**** man, don't say that. I'd prefer they didn't ban headphones too.
#464 to #353 - anonymous (05/05/2013) [-]
The way i see it, if someone can hijack a plane with a pair of nail clippers, they can damn well do it without them.
User avatar #42 to #19 - laelaps (05/05/2013) [-]
**laelaps rolls 00** I don't think so. Starting now dubs names your kids name.

> Roll related: Chipotle and Slagathor
User avatar #60 to #42 - ShadeElement (05/05/2013) [-]
Slagathor isn't a stretch. If it were two boys, my Swede wife wanted to name the second Ragnar. I told her only if his middle name were "The Destroyer". She agreed. We got Lily Danger instead though.
User avatar #586 to #60 - rufless (05/05/2013) [-]
**rufless rolls 991** FALCOR and Timmy-Tin
#254 to #60 - hurrdurka (05/05/2013) [-]
Call the boy Runkar, it's a beautiful name, even ask your wife.
User avatar #103 to #60 - laelaps (05/05/2013) [-]
If you're going with Ragnar the middle name has to be "the red" OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red
Who came riding to Whiterun from ole Rorikstead
And the braggart did swagger and brandish his blade
As he told of bold battles and gold he had made

But then he went quiet, did Ragnar the Red
When he met the shield-maiden Matilda, who said;
"Oh, you talk and you lie and you drink all our mead
Now I think it's high time that you lie down and bleed!"

And so then came clashing and slashing of steel
As the brave lass Matilda charged in, full of zeal
And the braggart named Ragnar was boastful no more-
When his ugly red head rolled around on the floor!
User avatar #43 to #42 - laelaps (05/05/2013) [-]
I'll let you choose which gender gets which name
User avatar #20 to #19 - qubot (05/04/2013) [-]
if those children need to have their own prime time drama when they grow up. I can see it now!
Gunner Carl and Lily Danger: Directed by Micheal Bay
sure beats the names i was thinking of
Phillip Antonio Dolphin The 2nd and Cpt Giggles
(leitly what i was going to name my future kids)
User avatar #21 to #20 - ShadeElement (05/04/2013) [-]
I run those by the Misses. lol
User avatar #22 to #21 - qubot (05/04/2013) [-]
my girl friend died at the sound of Philip Antonio Dolphin the 2nd not so much a Cpt giggles she wants it to be Stripperella
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