I like food, it is really nice. But sometimes it gets in the way, you know?
Like, you sit down and enjoy a nice, warm burrito in the comfort of your living room while an episode of Elementary is on the television. When you suddenly have the urge to need to poop, really really bad. Do you set your food down on your plate and go to the bathroom? As you look down you see an ant there, it is resting comfortably on your plate and looks hungrily at your burrito, so that's not an option. You think "What if I eat the whole thing now? Then I won't have to set it down or bring it with me.", but that's not an option either, seeing as though your tummy will feel terrible afterwards, and you'll have to go back into the bathroom later. You take a risk, and head to the bathroom burrito in hand.
As you pull down your pants and undergarments and sit your buttocks on the cold, hard plastic of the toilet seat, the burrito drips it's hot, moist burrito goo all over your private areas. It burns with a passion, and you let out a blood hurtling scream (pussy) and start violently shaking as you spew liquid fire diarrhea all over the innards of the toilet. You, having no control of your bodily fluids, stand up to get the hot burrito goo off of your area and unleash a malevolent spew of ********* all over your toilet. Your nostrils numb at the smell of the disastrous monstrosity you've let out in this world. You can't bear the feeling overcome you, and you faint to the floor, your anal cavity still erupting like the Deepwater Horizon oil spill.
You later awake to a monstrous smell and burning feeling inside your intestines, and you stand up only to realize.....
You missed the newest episode of Elementary.