Man the fuck up. don't play uno with Mexicans cause they steal the green cards.
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Man the fuck up

don't play uno with Mexicans cause they steal the green cards

Tags: fuck | These | tags
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Views: 52033
Favorited: 273
Submitted: 04/25/2013
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#3 - milkyshizznits (04/25/2013) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #5 - corundum (04/25/2013) [+] (2 replies)
90 miles per ******* hour? Jesus man you were lucky the spider wasn't a cop.
#4 - sodapops (04/25/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Argh, thanks for reminding me.

2 years ago, before I bought my quad i had a moped. Worked my magic on the carburetor and some other details so it did about 65-70 km/h.
So, one day when I drove it home from work i had the visor of my helmet open because it was a beautiful summer night and everything smelled so good... and
POW a small bird or bat struck me in the ******* face. I panicked like the sissy I am and totally blinded I took my hands from the handlebars and tore my helmet off at a speed of 65. It took me a couple of seconds to cool down enough to actually stop my little bike, then I spat and heaved for like 5 minutes, couldn't get the taste out of my mouth. Stupid me told the wife and kids the next day, and had to deal with their lols, smirks and jokes about angry birds for weeks.

The moral, my friends is... Keep that ******* visor down. Even a small bird feels like a punch in the nose.
#7 - fireblazing (04/25/2013) [-]
the desc.
the desc.
#12 - luiselvergas (04/26/2013) [+] (3 replies)
>be me in my first year in america
>be mexican born and raised in mexico
> English teacher gives green flash cards
> friend takes one of my green cards
> yell "joseph give me my green card i need it"
>MFW
#1 - iamtheblackgoat (04/25/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Biggest fear: spiders hiding close to my balls
Biggest fear: spiders hiding close to my balls
#21 - xozonex (04/26/2013) [+] (3 replies)
#2 - shamrockbandit (04/25/2013) [+] (1 reply)
spider's face when he realized where he was
#23 - CalmChaos (04/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
#42 - foxicon (04/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Once, I was jerking it in the shower like always, and right before climax I felt something on my hand.   
mfw it was a spider.   
   
I still finished
Once, I was jerking it in the shower like always, and right before climax I felt something on my hand.
mfw it was a spider.

I still finished
#17 - studbeefpile (04/26/2013) [+] (2 replies)
"Life is like a mop, sometimes life gets full of dirt, and crud, and bugs and hairballs, and stuff, You gotta clean it out, you gotta put it in here, and rinse it off, and start all over again. And sometimes, life sticks to the floor so bad, a mop is not good enough, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, ya know, and you gotta really scrub, you gotta get it off, you gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn't work, you can't give up! You gotta stand right up! You gotta run to a window, and say 'HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE DIRTY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANY MORE!'. "
#9 - kisskisspatd (04/25/2013) [-]
MFW The descrition
MFW The descrition
#47 - tiriusten (04/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#20 - barrachefvan (04/26/2013) [-]
MFW Description
MFW Description
#46 - mehhwhateverworks (04/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
#44 - critique (04/26/2013) [-]
That description...
User avatar #27 - jinjo (04/26/2013) [-]
I just sprayed a spider with water sealant for like 45 seconds, and I've never been happier.
#22 - anonymous (04/26/2013) [-]
As I read this, a spider was crawling on my bed and now I cant sleep in that room
User avatar #10 - futurestas (04/26/2013) [-]
I signed in just to favorite this.
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