Everyone must like you.

Anyways, I think zombies are real, they just haven't risen form their graves yet. I dunno. But anyways, there is this bug/ parasite that turns prey into zombies. Once it got a cockroach and the cockroach died and then minutes later, the cockroach started twitching, sat up and started walking around. If that were to affect us (probably not because we're too big) we'd probably become zombies

Sure ******* the hottest girl in school isn't going to happen but that sure as hell isn't going to stop me from hoping it does everyday.

Not true. Artificial stimulation of the brain stem is theoretically possible by either the means of a virus or a nano machine. Advances in the adaptation and purposing of these modifiers is where a great deal of medical funding is going.

The effects would be identical. There would be generalized movement in sluggish form as well as an insatiable hunger due to the unrestrained basic functions. It is reanimation and cannibalism. Just because it is no longer supernatural does not qualify to dismiss as "not a zombie". This is what we got and what is very possible as a contingency so not having a "zombie apocalypse" because it isn't possible is a flat out lie. This is possible, it can happen, and you should at least be aware of that possibility.

Ineffective definition is ineffective. If it eats brains and shambles about after it's already dead I'm sure we're all gonna take a moment to make a new name for it since it can't be a zombie.

He has a point you know. It is scientifically impossible for zombies to exist, and even if they did, they would decompose so quickly in most areas.

There is a Fungus that kills ants then takes over the ants brain. Then the Fungus has total control over the ant. It's that is basically a zombie ant. If that fungus was to ever effect humans humans would then basically be zombies. Maybe not the flesh eating kind from games and movies but still a zombie.

Dam, you already posted about the zombie ants...

ummmm.... okay....

ummm... okay...

leave me out of this.

Well if that's not a zombie 99% of all zombies aren't zombies. Most zombie come about by the same process. Something kills it then it brings it brain back to life. Almost every zombie is some kinda parasite or disease.

The fungus kills the ant it's totally dead then some time latter it gets back up and move.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you want "affect". "Effect" is a noun, while "affect" is a verb. You can easily remember this by "affect" and "action" starting with the same letter.
Completely agree with the rest of what you're saying, by the way.