Login or register
Login or register
Stay logged in
Log in/Sign up using Facebook.
Log in/Sign up using Gmail/Google+.
CREATE A NEW ACCOUNT
Email is optional and is used for password recovery purposes.
Have the FunnyJunk newsletter e-mailed to you
Min comment interval: 14 seconds
Remaining character count: 4000
[ + ]
Image or Video File:
Shortcuts: "C" opens comments. "R" refreshes comments.
Record voice message?
Click to start recording.
Enter Captcha Code:
Scroll to your comment?
Back to the content 'Cat'
**User deleted account**
has deleted their comment
Shared story time
>Be 7, about a month til 8th birthday
>Never ask parents for anything (we were poor, so anything was appreciated)
>This year folks ask "Have anything in mind?"
>Ensue ********* of "Not responsible enough! Lotta work!" Blah, blah, blah.
>Birthday rolls around, get a card and cake (Hooray)
>Getting ready to go to bed
>Mom hollers "Let's go see Aunt Nunyabusiness!"
>Supah stoked. She's a wicked cook and would surely have birthday yum-yums for me
>Go up the holler (lived in hills of WV, all family in our holler) to Aunt's
>**** ton of people. Looks like the family reunions
>Get out of our piece of crap car, uncle spins 'round
>Tiny sheltie pup in his arms
>Start the water works
>Cry tears of joy I've never felt before
To be continued....
>Nerdy kid in school
>Real scrawny and picked on a lot
>Feel true friendship for the first time in my life
>Hold my new best friend in my arms weeping while my family basks in the moment of man and friend
>Rascal slept in my bed by my side that night and for many nights to come
>Only friend for years
>Do everything together, tell him about all the dickwads at school
>Forgot housekey one winter had to sit outside til folks got home
>Snowing, cold as ****, wore shorts (dumb as ****)
>Rascal cuddles up next to me to keep me warm
>Sleight riding, hit a tree (still dumb as ****)
>Rascal tries to drag me to safety
>Wreck 4-wheeler into creek
>Submerged under water
>Rascal barking to get parents
>But they don't come and just think it's a car or something
>Got out from under it because still scrawny as ****
To be continued again. Sorry if these suck. Never told this story before. I'm nostalgia'ing so hard, just lemme go with it please.
>Dad gets another dog
>Huge piece of **** dog
>Names it "Freeloader"
>Fat **** douche dog
>Jealous of Rascal and his attention
>Eats his food
>Move Rascals food and throw dirt in Freeloaders food any chance I get
>Then they both start disappearing
>Freeloader would lead Rascal far away then run back in hopes he would get lost
>I'm not even making this **** up, Freeloader was a huge ******* cunt
>I hope he's dead now. No regrets
>One day Freeloader gets home
>Hour goes by, then two, then three: no Rascal
>Bawl my eyes out
>My grandpa mounts his fourwheeler and goes on the 1-man search party
>Comes back that night
>Found him tangled in barb wire UNDER a piece of tin sheet.
>What the ****?
>Parents agree that's the last straw
>Give Freeloader to some deaf and nearly blind old lady
>Called him Freddy
>Ran into her years later and "FWEDDDYYYYY!" Looked miserable as ****
>Back to story
>Years go by.
>Got new dog
> Rottweiler named Rocky
>Badass dog. Dumb as ****, but nice as all get out
>Instant best friends with Rascal (hooray!)
>Transition from boy to man
>No epic montage
>**** was hard
>Rascal was by my side every step of the way though
>Family moves out of the holler for better "job location"
>Neighbors down the road have sheltie dog
>GIRL sheltie dog
>Talk to my folks about breeding them for $$$
>Folks figure, "Why not?"
>Tell me the plan and I'm like "Cool! Puppies!"
>What wasn't cool is how sheltie poon changes a dog
>Rascal noticeably different
>Won't fetch, won't walk, won't do ****
>Literally just tries to get back to his lady
>I'm distraught, try having "talks" with him
>Promise him I'll take him to visit or for booty calls
>He doesn't buy it
>Constantly going MIA
>Jump to Sunday morning
>School pictures next day
>Mom buys the pictures "So she picks the haircut"
>Off to get a flat-top (woopeee)
>Go to get in the car and my dad tells me to run back in the house real quick
>Whatever. Go back inside. Cold out anyway.
>Comes in a little later and we're off.
>Get home with new cut and ride bike around while my parents set-up for a garage sale
>See dad whisper in moms ear
>Mom gasps. Cue the waterworks.
>Sister away on field trip to Seneca Rocks that weekend
>First thought "Oh **** she fell off."
>Never forget next words
> Been over 7 years now
>Hear them plane as day
>Didn't understand english for a split second
>"Dead?" Not processing
>First time I've ever had any in my family die ever
>Hits me like a sack of bricks
>Can't breath. First true friend. Only friend for years. Best friend. Gone.
>Apparently he was hit by a car
>Dad had seen when he went to take me for a haircut
>Hit and run. Was so bad he didn't want me to see him all over the place.
>Buried him while I was in the house before haircut
>Try to watch t.v. to calm down
>All Dogs Go To Heaven: Next
>Blue Clue's: Next
>Cats vs. Dogs: Next
>Powerpuff Girls, whatever not about dogs (Episode where everyone gets turned into dogs) Turn off t.v.
>Flash forward a week
>Rocky goes into deep depression after loss of his best friend, too
>Stops eating. Try dog-food, hamburger, anything. Won't eat.
>Starts getting sickly. Does nothing but lay-down all day.
>Take him to vet.
>They put him down. I lost two of my most loyal friends in less than two weeks.
This is the first time I've spoke of it since it happened. It's been years. Now I have a cat, and he hates my ******* guts. Sorry for the long ass boring story, but I feel your pain. R.I.P. Joey you wonderful embodiment of man's best friend!
That was a happy post, and then a very sad post.
Back to the content 'Cat'
Top in 24 Hours
VR is becoming quite realistic
Anon is witty
Hidden trash within us all
Thats how it is done!
japanon is upset
Xidudr Myolda Lucese
Breaking in the middle
Story Time- Awkward Bathroom Adventures
The Wolf Hunts For His Prey
/pol/ asks a question
The golden God
Winning is Racist
How to run DOOM on Porsche 911
Toast n' Ted - R E A L I T Y
History of United States Presidents
big reveal - imagnet comic
Medical Bill $24,601
Hypocrisy filling the glass
birds and bees
Anon on fake news
Anon's Tulpa Problem
When a girl approaches me
Racism Simulator Extension
Tumbleweed too OP, Plz Nerf
Team Fucking 2
Ytetillor Apilfok Ryod