Life to-do List. not mine. Wear shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on street corner. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other. Major i
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Life to-do List

not mine

Wear shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on street corner.
Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.
Go into a crowded elevator and say, "I bet Berthe all wondering why I gathered
you here," with a straight face.
Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is "C." Enjoy the show.
Wait until Someone is about to sneeze. Right before they do, loudly scream
Run into a store, ask what year it is. When answers, yell "It worked!"
and run out cheering.
Buy a horse, name it "Oscar Takes the Lead," enter it in horse races.
Invite into your office, turn around in office chair and say, "I' been
expecting you-"
Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.
Become a doctor. Change last name tn Acula.
Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, "Help! I' been turned into a parrot."
Follow joggers around in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.
Stacy' s mom.
...
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Views: 55872
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Submitted: 04/17/2013
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Comments(107):

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#1 - underlois ONLINE (04/17/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Those are some pretty good 						*******					 ideas you got there
Those are some pretty good ******* ideas you got there
#36 - blademontane (04/18/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Comment Picture
#5 - anonymous (04/17/2013) [+] (2 replies)
"Oscar takes the lead" in second. They're in the stretch. "Oscar takes the lead" only one length down. He's moving forward. "OSCAR TAKES THE LEAD" TAKES THE LEAD.

Another good racehorse name would be Rubberband.
"And its Rubberband in the stretch!"

This one's great too
?v=Kqj2hkbDnyM
User avatar #42 - vigorion ONLINE (04/18/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Story time.
A few years back I was helping a friend move to a new appartment. Since it was only the two of us, I emptied the truck and loaded his stuff into the elevator, and he unloaded the elevator and put his stuff in the appartment on the top floor. After a while I got an idea, so I put aside his office chair, a large plant and a floor-lamp. When these were the only things left, I put them in the elevator and sat down in the chair with the back towards the door. When the elevator doors opened I put my fingers in the "evil finger pyramid"-position and swung the chair around saying "I've been expecting you..."
Find myself starring at an old couple, who freeze outside the door. I am a bit embarrassed, but keep a straight face, trying to come up with an excuse or something. Before either of us speak, the doors slowly close, and I think "what the **** , might as well go all in" so I whisper audibly, "Until we meet again..." and keep starring at them.
It was a good day.
#2 - schnizel (04/17/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Comment Picture
User avatar #33 - noopinion (04/18/2013) [-]
PIKA PIKAAAAAAAAAAA FLEGHHHH
#66 - babyanalraper (04/18/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Buy maynaise. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
User avatar #74 to #66 - doyouevenupload (04/18/2013) [-]
Eat mayo jar, buy public, put in maynaise
#37 - anonymous (04/18/2013) [-]
Googled Dr. Simon Acula. someone's way ahead of you on this list.
+9
#34 - lieutenantshitface **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
User avatar #46 - CrabFace (04/18/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>buy a horse, name it "oscar takes the lead"...

what if it's a godawful horse that never wins

"AND OSCAR TAKES THE LEAD TAKES THE LAST PLACE"
+7
#3 - deadmeme **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (4 replies)
User avatar #52 - suddenlypotatoes (04/18/2013) [-]
"Why would you like fries with that"

Because I'm ******* hungry.

"Oh.."
#92 - dudemeister (04/18/2013) [-]
mfw my sister's name is stacy
mfw my sister's name is stacy
#73 - iviking ONLINE (04/18/2013) [-]
****					, now that song is on my brain.    
STACY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN' ON. STACY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN' ON.
**** , now that song is on my brain.
STACY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN' ON. STACY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOIN' ON.
#68 - anonomoz (04/18/2013) [-]
mfw a philosopher ask me why I would like fries with this
mfw a philosopher ask me why I would like fries with this
User avatar #26 - riderdouble (04/18/2013) [-]
This one time me and my friend ran up behind this chick jogging and started singing Eye of the Tiger. After a while she stopped but when my friend yelled RUN, she started running again.
#55 - knowstoomuch (04/18/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I don't get it.

Dr. Simon Acula, what's so funny about that?


Anyone have better quality pic?
User avatar #72 to #55 - Blargosnarf ONLINE (04/18/2013) [-]
I thought the **** quality was part of the joke.
#43 - skulldan (04/18/2013) [-]
addendum to the office chair to do:

put on the disappointed dad (pic) mask and turn around when they walk in
User avatar #41 - tiredandhungry (04/18/2013) [-]
but...Simon's name is Simon... speaking in third person is weird
User avatar #32 - kentravyon (04/18/2013) [-]
Major in philosophy?
Pfft
My plan is to get a doctorate in philosophy, and maybe first aid (still undecided on that part)
I shall then proceed to roam around town until I find some kind of medical emergency with a semi-large crowd surrounding a distressed victim.
I shall then sprint to the individual in distress yelling "STAND BACK I'M A DOCTOR" And watch as everyone backs the **** off.
If the individual is still conscious I shall whisper into their ear "My Doctorate is in philosophy" as I "save them"
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