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User avatar #19 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
>Biology Class
>something around 9th grade (im from germany)
>teacher tells us to microscope our saliva
>one girl starts yelling
>"OMG somethings moving here!"
>teacher goes there
>looks at it
>"yeah thats defiantly definitely a living sperm cell"
>girl wasn't seen the next 2 weeks
User avatar #177 to #19 - ImsoObvious (04/11/2013) [-]
couldnt be anymore ********
#166 to #19 - CIS White Male (04/11/2013) [-]
did that happen? did it really?
User avatar #156 to #19 - rockamekishiko ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
i've seen that joke every time someone reposts this
#140 to #19 - CIS White Male (04/11/2013) [-]
Where's defiantly when you need him?
User avatar #93 to #19 - lieutenantpansy (04/11/2013) [-]
Lüge.
User avatar #29 to #19 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
God damn it. I want this to happed to my school.
Who am I kidding. We already did saliva. ******* dry maths and words.

BUT CUTTING UP A PIG EYE? SURE THING.
Still grossed out.
User avatar #113 to #29 - capinsquiggles (04/11/2013) [-]
In my 12th grade Biology class last semester we dissected piglets, there was a kid in the middle of the class that cut off it's head, then sliced down it's stomach and turned the piglets body inside out, then he put the head back on the inside out body... it looked ****** up
User avatar #135 to #113 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Serious?
User avatar #152 to #135 - capinsquiggles (04/11/2013) [-]
Yea, my teacher didn't care because she was pretty awesome, a few weeks before we had cow hearts and she asked if anyone in the class knew how to juggle, someone raised their hands so my teacher tossed the girl 3 cow hearts and told her to juggle them, as she started to juggle the teacher said "WAIT! Let's go outside of the cooking class and gross them out!"
User avatar #211 to #152 - octaviano (04/12/2013) [-]
**** , I want a teach like that.
User avatar #81 to #29 - burningsmurfs ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Aw all we got to do were the frogs and sheep brains.
User avatar #83 to #81 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
BRAINS?
User avatar #87 to #83 - burningsmurfs ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Yeah it was quite boring, it looked like a long cauliflower and all there was to do really was look at the folds and what few different areas there were. We ended up playing with ours and then someone at our table smacked it off our table into a girl at the next table's leg and what ensued was much more interesting.
User avatar #88 to #87 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
How high did she scream?
#94 to #88 - burningsmurfs ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Oh god, she looked down at the brain, stared for at least 5 solid seconds then just pointed her mouth at the heavens and wailed like a banshee was escaping her. She just screamed while people covered their ears and jumped thinking someone must have died or something and I just watch her turn all kinds of funky colors and then she just shuts her eyes and face plants into the ground with the brain right under her stomach. I have no idea how we managed to convince them it was an accident but this was pretty much our faces the whole time.
Oh god, she looked down at the brain, stared for at least 5 solid seconds then just pointed her mouth at the heavens and wailed like a banshee was escaping her. She just screamed while people covered their ears and jumped thinking someone must have died or something and I just watch her turn all kinds of funky colors and then she just shuts her eyes and face plants into the ground with the brain right under her stomach. I have no idea how we managed to convince them it was an accident but this was pretty much our faces the whole time.
User avatar #102 to #94 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
So she did the flop before it was cool?
That's a brainy hipster!


Jokes aside, I would probably go "GOD DAMN IT, JO, WHAT THE **** . I KNOW YOU LOST YOU BRAIN, BUT YOU CAN'T DROP ANOTHER ONE!"
User avatar #115 to #102 - burningsmurfs ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Nah we didn't shout anything stupid because our teacher told us if there was any ******* going on in any way this day we would regret it because the **** was expensive and etc. We didn't wanna **** with him because he was good at pranks and chemistry and probably would have made our underwear explode or something for messing around so we somehow managed to act like it was an accident.
User avatar #33 to #29 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
i hated the pig eye-part. i wasnt really that grossed out but all the girls in class were all crying and one was even vomiting.
#79 to #33 - samanthasky (04/11/2013) [-]
How funny I actually had to do this today. I had to cut the pig eye OUT of the dead baby pig and then dissect it. One girl started bawling saying it was murder and she couldn't do it. I only gagged twice but it's still pretty disgusting. Tomorrow we're hog-tying it and opening up the digestive system. Great.
User avatar #35 to #33 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Your class was a pussy class.
I was the most pussy person out of them all, but I was able to look.
THE DARKNESS INSIDE THE EYEEEE.
User avatar #36 to #35 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
yeah it was a pussy class, we were 8 guys and 20 girls.
User avatar #37 to #36 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Wow. Too much pussy.
We got 9 girls and 14 guys over here.
Anyways, what else did ya cut up?
Up to now, only Pig heart and Pig eye. (Me and my partner got a FRESH eye. Dead since less than a day. And hard as **** to cut.)
User avatar #38 to #37 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
just the eye. and that's the only thing we ever did in biology that wasn't just writing stuff or watching silly documentations. that's why i never liked biology class. chemistry and physics were more interesting.
User avatar #41 to #38 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Bitchdontgetmestartedaboutchemistyandphysics.
The last Semester, FFS.
Chemistry and Physics? DRYBONES IS A WET SEAL IN COMPERASITION.
Writing down, writing down. Meep.
(Chemisty was meh, poor teach. We only screwed around pretty much. Some even openly played iPods. Funfact: I got a better grade than the kid that I bet 50€ on that he buys his grades or his dad (another teach) buys them.)
My new Math teacher... got from an university. That ****** thinks we understand everything in an instance.
Easy things are alright, but seriously, we had to do every test TWICE we had with him because our grades got so bad.
Dude. The averange on a test about ROOT MATHMATICS was 4.25. One had a 2 (Same kid from above. I tell you, he somehow always gets an All-Grade-1 at the end of the year.), there was one 6, and rests were 4s and 5s.
That's what he gets when being in the middle of parable and writing a tests about pythagoras and getting the test about roots just the day before.
User avatar #44 to #41 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
well, i had such a math teacher once too. basicly the same happened as you said. no one understood like a single word he said.
i'm from northern germany but lived 1.5 years in south-west germany, went to school there and it's pretty different there. in the north, we made more experiments in chemistry and physics, was pretty fun and i had some pretty cool math teachers there but in the south... holy **** man, poor guys going to school there.
User avatar #45 to #44 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Well, we DO understand stuff.
But he expects us to know 3 subjects at once and know everything by heart after a homework that was READING THREE PAGES FROM THE MATH BOOK.
GOD DAMN IT, HIS NAME IS EXPEHNSIVE. WITH AN H. (Translated to german.)
Center-Germany here, and I'm going to a school where my parents have to pay roughly 120€ per month so I can go there. Because the next Gymnasium (not as in Sport-Gym, but you are german, you know the term.) is only reachable by train. FFS.
My old Math/Geology teacher maybe was a bit too strict, a bit of an asshole, and slightly bully-ish/sexist-ish, but only slightly, it was amusing, and god damn it. He drilled it into our heads, if you liked it or not. This new guy? Pft, he expects us to use four drills by ourselves and blindfolded.
I'm also rather a solo-guy. Not THAT many friends, but that might be because everybody is an unrespectful CoD-kiddy that somehow is girly enough to be disgusted if you didn't wash your hair in a week. (I'm lazy at that, yes, and these babyfaces want me to shave my 'stache.)
This entire school is just ***************** .
But my Latin teacher is nice.
GOOD TEACHERS, BAD TEACHERS, GOD DAMN IT. COMPLICATIONS HNNGh.
User avatar #49 to #45 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
im going to such a school too, because i dropped out of school (long story) and i got bad grades n stuff on my graduation (realschulabschluss) that i wouldn't get a real job which i could enjoy. the guys in my class now are all also girly cod-kiddies, but still respectful.

most of the male teachers were all just horny old men. show some cleavage and you get an A. like in sports, the girl with the biggest tits who also happened to show a lot of cleavage (who'd have thought that?) and always wore tight stuff in sports WAS AFRAID OF THE ******* BALL when we played volleyball all the time. she got a ******* A, what the **** man.

and my history teacher was some kind of nazi, not the kind that hates foreigners but the kind that wants old values like discipline, obedience and stuff back.
User avatar #57 to #49 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Wow, that IS extreme.
Kinda glad we don't have these horny old men here. Otherwise, that girl who usually only writes 4s or worse would have an A. Even when, by eye, she seems like she got two Cs-ERHEM WHEREDIDWELEAVEOFF.
Anyways, in German, we once read Willhelm Tell.
To sum it up:
Write what happened in a chapter, write character biographys, and impressions about "HOW SOME PROBLEMS STILL EXIST NOW".

God damn it, that **** was ******** to read, I barely even understood the characters.
FANTASY ROMANS WERE BETTER THAN THAT. I KNOW IT'S 300 YEARS OLD, BUT STILL.
History is still interesting. And we once (had?) this silly old teach.
In a nutshell:
"What's 5x21?"
-student puts up hand- "Yes, anon?"
"Uhm, 105..."
"You can answer in full sentences, can't you?"
-all students roll their eyes-


I also don't really understand why german is teached, and why we have to do every single sentence with the latin vocabulary and blablabla.
I mean, the Abitur in the end is just IMPRESSION AND WRITING OVER A TEXT. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE LANGUAGE. IT'S ABOUT DOING A WRITTEN PRESENTATION WITHOUT POWERPOINT.

By the way, we pretty much ONLY do Powerpoint-stuff and movie-watching with our other Teach in Geology. WOO, SUPERVOLCANO.

I actually want to go to an University and meet other people. Only f'cktards around where I live.
User avatar #65 to #57 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
we had a lot of these answer-in-full-sentences kind of teacher.
yeah german class is kind of dumb. learned more about german in english class, had a teacher there once who explained english words with old germanic languages and how it developed into english and german. that was actually pretty interesting.
User avatar #67 to #65 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
I'm Acing more Tests in English class than the british guy, really.
Thank the internet.
Besides, I learn more about anything in History class than anywhere else.
#23 to #19 - CIS White Male (04/11/2013) [-]
Hallo mein name is Daniel, ich komme aus Australien. Ich bin ein austauschuler in Deutschland, ich kann nicht gut Deutsch gemacht weil ich habe null 3 monaten heir gewohnt. Ich möchte sage dass, ich leibe Deutschland es ist so toll.
#26 to #23 - CIS White Male (04/11/2013) [-]
no, were not burning the jews again, stop suggesting it
User avatar #208 to #26 - truebell (04/11/2013) [-]
dude really. Du bist ein blödest amerikaner
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