Would You Rather?

Nope. In any case, I'm broke, and couldn't afford tickets, so I'd get the slaps by default.

Image...relevant? I guess it is haha

..."wap wap wap"?

it's the noise my ********************* makes

To be fair, the vast majority of female comedians suck. I don't know whether it's just a ratio thing, with there being more males in the business and therefore more of them are better, or something else entirely, but a lot of the female comedians I've seen guesting on TV have been terrible.

A few exceptions I can name: Sarah Millican, Jo Brand, that Nigerian one who I've only seen a couple times on Mock the Week and don't know the name of.

Of course, this is all my opinion, you may disagree completely.

I see where you're coming from, but it's true that it's a vastly male-dominated market, and as a result the audience has always been vastly male as well, so it's a self-perpetuating situation: males tend to find males funnier (jokes and anecdotes are more relatable), thus females are less popular and less appreciated.

Were the audiences balanced with males and females opinions would be balanced as well - there are fewer of them, the cream of the crop is going to be smaller, and the unfunnier ones are going to be more obvious.

yeah, as long as it was her, i'd be game

Wanda sykes is pretty amazing too.

I've seen her before, she's got some good material

I have seen some really hilarious female comedians and she is not one of them.

She made the best jokes.

Exaclty

it doesn't say you're getting slapped 10 times in quick succession. what if you won't know when you're slapped and who's going to slap you?

It doesn't say that the act will be less than ten thousand dollars. What if you'd get that much for the slaps? The what ifs of these situations are pointless to dwell on.

A female condom is a diaphragm

no, see i know they exist, but in the context it made no sense

And less painful to sit through.

I'm gonna put my opinion in small letters so that people don't hate me

Her voice is like a cat having it's ******** scraped off with a cheese grater.

I love ellen

ellen's stand up before she got her show was pretty good in my opinion. she has a real talent for keeping it clean while still being funny, which aint that easy

Not gonna lie, Ellen can actually be pretty funny at times

Yeah, if you're a 45 year old soccer mom.

but i'm not, and i think they're funny.
and i know others who do, too.

I was just grating your cheese, Degeneres's show is a little fun to watch.