The Onion. A lot of people cry while cutting onions. The trick is to not get attached. The Onion' s Tips For blot Accidentally Murdering Your Girlfriend INFO/ -
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The Onion

A lot of people cry while cutting onions. The trick is to not get attached

The Onion' s Tips For blot Accidentally Murdering
Your Girlfriend
INFO/ - Relationships - Lifestyle - ISSUE - Fell 19, 2013
In today' s world, it seems like just about any guy can accidentally kill his
girlfriend at virtually any time. Here are some easy strategies to aittir inadvertently
murdering your significant other.
a Be sure to avoid firing a gun in the general direction hlynur girlfriend, regardless of the
situation.
c Shy away from doing anything that may cause yhur girlfriend a massive amount of blood loss,
such as beating her, stabbing her, shooting her multiple times.
Consider performing a task that has a idly risk of accidentally murdering yhur girlfriend, like
giving , taking herto dinner, letting her continue living and breathing.
Remain generally cognizant of the fact that three gunshots to the head and terse will, in most
situations, fatally wound a person, and that this fact will, therefore, likely apply to yhur girlfriend
If there is a locked door in yhur home and there is even a remote possibility that the person
ynu' re currently dating is behind that door and could be immediately killed by the bullets ynu fire
at the door, try not to fire a gun directly at that door.
an In general, if there is something that ynu think might cause yhur girlfriend to stop living, dnn' t do
that thing.
...
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Submitted: 04/02/2013
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User avatar #3 - phoenix grinder (04/03/2013) [-]
never fall in love with women; or their devil vagina magic
#2 - hudis ONLINE (04/02/2013) [-]
User avatar #1 - huskygunner (04/02/2013) [-]
no, the trick is putting them in the fridge for an hour then a bowl of icewater right before cutting. SHEESH.
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