Good to know. We will all need this..... very soon. Zombie First Aid a. Apply ttwtt s,. Whip in bandage In I spiral mam Plan: part iife' ' an 1 solid ilk no a k
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Good to know

We will all need this..... very soon

Zombie First Aid
a. Apply ttwtt
s,. Whip in bandage In
I spiral mam
Plan: part iife' '
an 1 solid
ilk no a knot In the wind
A Tilt: two :
s. Amputated Injured body part
...
+663
Views: 26501
Favorited: 53
Submitted: 03/27/2013
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Comments(137):

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#67 - aconfuseddonut (03/28/2013) [+] (2 replies)
8. Strap a chainsaw on that 						************
8. Strap a chainsaw on that ************
#1 - fellthatsexydrop (03/28/2013) [+] (29 replies)
I could see nothing going wrong here...
#30 - reigndrac (03/28/2013) [+] (6 replies)
Step 8: Die of blood loss or infection.
Step 8: Die of blood loss or infection.
#45 - eyemeralds (03/28/2013) [-]
firmly wrap it
#94 - copperman (03/28/2013) [-]
why take two painkillers when you can take just one Aleve?
#37 - irokk (03/28/2013) [-]
#3 - markdagic (03/28/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Or.. you could be like Merle
#72 - BmanX (03/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Worked like a charm.
#43 - bitchplzzz (03/28/2013) [-]
Not very handy
Not very handy
#114 - toocheesy (03/28/2013) [-]
**** man, take those painkillers before you cut your damn hand off.
User avatar #110 - mtflyer (03/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
So, I followed the steps, and somehow, my dick got caught in a ceiling fan.
#107 - gustamelusta (03/28/2013) [-]
I think you missed a step pertaining to the addition of a chainsaw.
#111 - mycatislookingatme ONLINE (03/28/2013) [-]
You missed out step eight.
You missed out step eight.
#13 - plankepetter ONLINE (03/28/2013) [+] (18 replies)
this happened to me last night.. what should i do?
User avatar #70 - stijnverheye (03/28/2013) [+] (7 replies)
step 4 : faint or get in shock and either die of blood loss or getting eaten alive

i cant see were it could go wrong
User avatar #71 to #70 - bromop (03/28/2013) [-]
There have been amputations since the beginning of time.
#50 - kievaughnb ONLINE (03/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#12 - mattdoggy (03/28/2013) [+] (2 replies)
>apply tourniquet a half foot above infected area   
>find simple cleving device to make an intial rough cut   
>cut off body part three inches from infected area within the first minute of it being compromised, ideally it should be done as soon as possible   
>next you release the tourniquet and then re tighten it, repeat this process every 5 minutes   
>next, hopefully with help, you have an hour to fix your arm before you start to crash from blood loss and shock   
>you need wire cutters, meet cleaver, and a fine serrated saw as well as a source of flame   
>you should cut the meet on your arm down on the sides with the meet cleaver and pull it down and back away from the bone, sort of like opening a clam   
>use wire cutters to get through thick tendons and difficult muscles   
>now cut the bones at a flat angle, removing about 2 inches of bone   
>tie a knot around the ends of the veins and arteries with sterile thread or dental floss (try and boil it first)   
>heat up a piece of metal and press it against the marrow of the bone, or directly apply flame to it to cauterize the marrow.   
>next pull the meet flaps of the arm back around the bone and sew it shut, if done right the end of the nub will look like an egg   
>the blood loss might cause the body to go into a state of shock so it is best to create a solution of water, salt, and sugar to be fed intravenously (you can probably find a basting needle, used to flavor turkey, they are at most stores)   
>wait 6 hours after the wound has quit bleeding and apply wet sugar to the area and cover with wet gauze, change every 4 hours for 2 weeks, to prevent infection from setting.   
>as long as the patient doesn't get septic from the veins and arteries being tied and fever doesn't set in do to the bone marrow being altered, then the person can survive probably.    
>and that is how to perform a good amputation
>apply tourniquet a half foot above infected area
>find simple cleving device to make an intial rough cut
>cut off body part three inches from infected area within the first minute of it being compromised, ideally it should be done as soon as possible
>next you release the tourniquet and then re tighten it, repeat this process every 5 minutes
>next, hopefully with help, you have an hour to fix your arm before you start to crash from blood loss and shock
>you need wire cutters, meet cleaver, and a fine serrated saw as well as a source of flame
>you should cut the meet on your arm down on the sides with the meet cleaver and pull it down and back away from the bone, sort of like opening a clam
>use wire cutters to get through thick tendons and difficult muscles
>now cut the bones at a flat angle, removing about 2 inches of bone
>tie a knot around the ends of the veins and arteries with sterile thread or dental floss (try and boil it first)
>heat up a piece of metal and press it against the marrow of the bone, or directly apply flame to it to cauterize the marrow.
>next pull the meet flaps of the arm back around the bone and sew it shut, if done right the end of the nub will look like an egg
>the blood loss might cause the body to go into a state of shock so it is best to create a solution of water, salt, and sugar to be fed intravenously (you can probably find a basting needle, used to flavor turkey, they are at most stores)
>wait 6 hours after the wound has quit bleeding and apply wet sugar to the area and cover with wet gauze, change every 4 hours for 2 weeks, to prevent infection from setting.
>as long as the patient doesn't get septic from the veins and arteries being tied and fever doesn't set in do to the bone marrow being altered, then the person can survive probably.
>and that is how to perform a good amputation
User avatar #47 - unncommon ONLINE (03/28/2013) [-]
>take two painkillers

Lol, jk. You just cut your ******* hand off. Take them until you start hearing running water.
#87 - SILENCEnight (03/28/2013) [-]
**SILENCEnight rolled a random image posted in comment #39 at Fuck are you looking at? ** Take bottle of pills.
**SILENCEnight rolled a random image posted in comment #39 at Fuck are you looking at? ** Take bottle of pills.
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