How to Piss People Off
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L Sing the Batman theme Incessantly.
2. In the meme of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your rough order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends In public consisting entirely of "Beepee Hip Hip Beemp Bap-"
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
P. Speak only In a "robot" yoke.
El. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your gm b".
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 Inch paper, SIS copies.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Leave your tum signal on tatty miles.
Name your dog "Dog."
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running In all weather conditions "to keep
them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that' s what YOU thin k."
17. ‘Claim that you must arways wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Highlight irrelevant In papers and "cc? them to your bass.
Declare your apartment an Independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs "arrogating your airspace".
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
Practice making lax and modem noises.