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Back to the content 'being nice'
Yes, because being nice is everything needed in a relationship.
I am ******* bored of hearing that I should be like a gum-ball machine, put in kindness and pussy comes out, otherwise I am a 'Friend zoning whore'.
You need to be attracted to one another, you need chemistry, you need so much MORE than just kindness to have a good relationship with some one.
Plus, you aren't that 'Nice guy' you think you are if you are only nice to women in an attempt to get sex, then generalise all of them. Lots of us are actually decent people who want to be pals with you.
Red thumbs incoming.
People who get friend-zoned usually go into it way over their heads.
They go for this Babezilla and think that just being nice is going to work.
Then she figures them out in three minutes, because she's been hit on since forever ,and turns them into companion pets.
After that they sob over the fact that they are nothing more than dogs to her.
Now here's a message to the kids... If you are going to hit on a really hot girl, try a different strategy, because they've seen it all.
No red thumb from me, but I take offense at your assertion that we think of women as gum ball machines... no
are gum ball machines. For they have the decency to dispense product after a set amount of currency has been put in.
No women are closer to slot machines. :P
hue hue hue
I meant people who think like OP think of women as gumball machines. Not all people.
Well if OP thinks that being nice ought to be counted for something then I don't see how that thinking is wrong.
I see it more of a question along the lines like
"Why do good things happen to bad people"?
"Why did Terry get that promotion, he is always late, and putting off work to others"?
;/ I see it less as a question of "why won't that bitch put out"? and more of one "why did she put out to that guy"?
And in that respect OP makes an excellent point. I'm pretty sure you yourself have wondered why seemingly unworthy people get something you wanted.
Of course being nice is part of it. OP is counting it as the only part. That's the huge thing about the 'Nice guy but I get friendzoned' crowd, they believe being kind will instantly entitles you to a girlfriend.
I was not only addressing OP in this, but that whole idea.
I get what you are saying in regards to the view, but people don't go on the internet and make multiple pictures saying how idiotic Terry is then get incredibly bitter towards all people called Terry in the future. It's the anger/entitlement I take issue with mostly.
Anyways here's what I think is an interesting take on the "friendzone".
Well I agree partially with what OP in that someone who is "nice" (which here we could define as a non cheating, remembers birthdays, is always on call to listen to problems) is probably more worthy of a relationship than someone who isn't.
Let's test the dismissal of OP's idea: Do you consider niceness as only "a part"? If so, then would you consider another attribute to be equal or of greater importance? I sure wouldn't, but maybe you or some other female would consider a "sixpack" or a six figure income another deciding factor? Chemistry as you mentioned earlier tells me nothing of your opinions concerning how big a part "niceness" plays in relationship worthiness. It only tells me you need a physical attraction
>I get what you are saying in regards to the view, but people don't go on the internet and make multiple pictures saying how idiotic Terry is then get incredibly bitter towards all people called Terry in the future.<
Bush, the guy who got elected to the presidency on family name alone and made sure that nobody named Bush could step foot in a White house again. xD But less famous examples can be found EVERYWHERE there is working people, they gripe about their companies and employers just as often as men gripe about women on the internet.
>It's the anger/entitlement I take issue with mostly<
I also take issue with calling this frustration "entitlement", to feel entitled to something is to believe you have a legal right to something. No one here I believe feels they have a legal right to pussy. But more importantly, if we WERE to use the fem's definition of entitlement , which for simplicity we could call the belief that one deserves something..... those nice guys still wouldn't be entitled.
When is the last time you ever saw someone work so hard as some of these so called nice guys to get something they felt "entitled" to?
I am not sure you are getting my point. I was addressing ONLY this particular crowd of people who get bitter when women won't date them then call them whores for dating anyone else (I really lack what to call them). This is not genuine niceness, it's feigned to get tits.
Niceness is a larger part, but you can't base a relationship solely on it. Generally, 'Chemistry' changes from person to person. It's just a spark that can be between two people, I can't entirely explain it as it is differing and personal thing to each person. Perhaps he/she likes funny guys, intelligence, who knows. I am tired and trying to explain this the best I can.
These people DO feel entitled, they feel that the world owes them a girlfriend just for being a 'Nice guy'. I am not, as previously stated, addressing all men. Just this minority that constantly make these pictures, that constantly comment that women are ridiculous for not dating them due to their 'kindness'.
Some of these particular people may work hard, but they still feel that sense of entitlement.
>I am not sure you are getting my point. <
I think I am actually, and I am well aware you are directing this toward "nice guys". The subject never left them, save to make a small joke about women being "slot machines".
>This is not genuine niceness, it's feigned to get tits. <
I agree, in the same way that I also agree that altruism isn't real, or that women may be attracted to less "nice" guys in favor of some other attribute they find attractive. If you believe in "genuine" niceness it means you believe in a form of altruism, and we disagree there and I disagree with you setting a false standard of niceness. :P
> Niceness is a larger part, but you can't base a relationship solely on it. Generally, 'Chemistry' changes from person to person. It's just a spark that can be between two people, I can't entirely explain it as it is differing and personal thing to each person. Perhaps he/she likes funny guys, intelligence, who knows<
Maybe she prefers a large cock, a ferrari or a guy who can rock a fedora, the question is.....do YOU consider any of the qualities you or I listed more important than niceness? Would you approve of dating someone who had the attributes you said but treated you like ****? ^^
>Some of these particular people may work hard, but they still feel that sense of entitlement. <
It's not entitlement when you expect to get some parity in the input-output of the distribution of life's pleasures. Using that definition men or women who want equal opportunities in the workplace based on just their work ethic or productivity feel entitled, those who turn in extra credit and expect a higher grade are "entitled" "(remember that I defined "nice" as engaging in certain positive behaviors that "nonnice" guys do not) and the thing is, the nice guys don't even try to put their beliefs into law like the former two groups! They basically just whine and complain, AFTER doing whatever "nice" deeds they just did. ;/ Not entitlement imo.
Actually, it's not 'nice guys' I am addressing. In the same way that believing there is a god doesn't make you a Christian, being friendzoned or being someone nice does not make you part of this 'If you don't date me for being nice you are an evil demoness' crew that obsess on the internet that I am addressing.
''Maybe she prefers a large cock, a ferrari or a guy who can rock a fedora, the question is.....do YOU consider any of the qualities you or I listed more important than niceness? Would you approve of dating someone who had the attributes you said but treated you like ****? ^^ ''
Once again, you are twisting what I mean. Hell, maybe she does get off on that, it's her choice, but my point was that you can not base a relationship on NICENESS ALONE. I never said anything else was more important, I simply stated that it's not a good thing to base a relationship on.
I disagree with your 'Entitlement' comparison. Personal and professional issues are different. When you do something nice, you should not expect a reward. When you do the work you are paid to do, you should eventually expect recognition. In my opinion, bitching constantly that you should instantly get a girlfriend for being nice is entitlement. We will agree to disagree.
I am really tired and going to sleep now, so I probably won't reply further. Sorry man, I just got off a heavy shift.
>... 'If you don't date me for being nice you are an evil demoness' crew that obsess on the internet that I am addressing. <
I find you speaking about this very narrow group odd, since even the OP doesn't try to make this point. He only mentions the tendecy of Women as a group to chose mates who are not "nice".
> I simply stated that it's not a good thing to base a relationship on.<
Then pray tell what SHOULD we base relationships on? All I have heard from you is "chemistry" "laughter" or "intelligence", is it not possible these griping guys have these traits?
>I disagree with your 'Entitlement' comparison. Personal and professional issues are different.<
I disagree, people will feel disappointed when their efforts, time or money are not getting them where they think it will. Whether it be at the office or in the game of love. To say once is entitled by law to get an proportional return on effort on one side, and is being "entitled" for complaining on the other is the pinnacle of selective logic.
> When you do something nice, you should not expect a reward.<
Once again altruism, you do realize that this is like quoting the Bible to an atheist right? No act is truly selfless.
And btw, when you say you are bored of people telling you to "put out" are you not feeling entitled to niceness? With the added bonus of you not doing ANYTHING to deserve it other than being a human, while the "nice guy" at least has illusions that he is worthy due to acts? ^.-
>When you do the work you are paid to do, you should eventually expect recognition<
Do you not see the contradiction, do you truly believe that those "bitter" men do not in fact devote hours of their time, spend money, and pretty much do everything a boyfriend does? If they were to put in just as much time as the office workers, should they be allowed to expect recognition?
Back to the content 'being nice'