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Sounds Delicious. . nin- f someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool as lemon's/ hopalong as you thinh ft wands taha them to are Mcmttc/

nin-
f someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool
as lemon's/ hopalong as you thinh ft wands taha them to are
Mcmttc/ rcly as Jante' s Warns as you crawl out as
v/ het/ tyou rolled their bad}; in salt first
easy there, satan
margarita

...

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Views: 80459 Submitted: 03/20/2013

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asd

#6 - Spavaloo

Reply +185 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Okay.

Okay guys.

You give them a dip in diluted hydrochloric acid- you following me? Make sure they're hopped up on adrenalin so that they can't pass out. You don't want to soak them too long either- seriously just dip them in the stuff to remove the first few layers of skin.

Then- and I want to make sure you're with me here- you toss them into a pit full of a slurry of lemon juice and rock salt. Don't skimp and get the regular salt, you want rock salt. You got all that? There should be three to four inches of slurry in the pit.

Okay, of course you'll want to give them a rope to climb out of the pit with. A rope made out of strands of barbed wire.

#222 to #6 - pureevil

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Dude. Seriously...

#232 to #6 - agentdennis

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/22/2013) [-]

#16 to #6 - jjholt

Reply +56 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

dude that's ****** up

#49 to #6 - vladhellsing

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

*razor wire

You pussy.

#67 to #49 - themightymrplow

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

I think he made it barbed wire on purpose because razor wire, being so sharp and them having already lost so much skin, would just slice them. With them pulling their entire weight on it there's a high chance if would slice their hand off. Barbed wire would just hurt like a mother.

#93 to #6 - anon id: 8e229592

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

You forgot to rub them with gravel after having their skin peeled.

#179 to #6 - anon id: 789af140

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Why not just peel of the flesh as they did in the medieval, a good executioner could peel a whole body off in 30 seconds - bare in mind this was just for the torture part, they never survived long after that though, a couple of minutes only.

#203 to #6 - trivdiego

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

love your avatar makes this twice as ******* awesome

#122 to #6 - modizzzs

Reply +4 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

easy there, satan

#140 to #6 - zorororonoa

Reply +4 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#81 to #6 - knowstoomuch

Reply +7 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Don't forget to enema them with bullet ants and Burn their anus shut.

#64 to #6 - oborawatabinost

Reply +8 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#68 to #6 - themightymrplow

Reply +10 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

I'm a little scared by how many favorites this has. Why do people want to remember this so badly?! o.O

#20 to #6 - lizardon

Reply +12 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

and if you dont have barbed wire you can also make the rope out of sheeps wool....damn that thing hurts when you pull it on your flesh...i know i have done it to myself

#216 to #6 - anon id: cd90d0f7

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Except for dilute hydrochloric acid would take several hours to remove a few layers of skin. Hell even the strong stuff would take a while. Welcome to introduction chemistry. Its not like the movies.

#214 to #6 - anon id: 16c5814d

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

I think the razor wire - like what ski lifts hang on - would be more effective than barbed wire. There are spaces between the barbs, you see.

#102 to #6 - conordalymcr

Reply +4 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#187 to #6 - spysappinmysasha

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

well the acid part would hurt like no ******* other.

but..and this is just me...does anyone else really just enjoy the sting of, lets say, antibacterial spray on a wound? Or GermX on a cut? just thinking of Lemon juice and salt touching a wound kinda makes me want to feel it.... ya know?

#192 to #187 - frysandaburger

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Let's play "spot the masochist"!

#170 to #6 - CatfishCrothers

Reply +3 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#118 to #6 - buttplugmaster

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

#174 to #6 - aczoh

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#72 to #6 - bluedwarf

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Odakle si?

#13 to #6 - BrotherBaner

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

is wrong with you

#233 to #6 - iamphoenix

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/22/2013) [-]

They'd have to be in their for a while to get the first few layers off, after which point their nerve endings would be burned off.

#234 to #233 - Spavaloo

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/22/2013) [-]

Well, you dip them in the acid, take them out, and wait for the film on their skin to do its work. When they have a nice, even layer of chemical burns, you hose them off to remove the excess acid and slide them into the lemon pit.

It would be a tricky thing to get the timing right, so as to preserve enough nerve endings. Might take a few... trial runs.

#235 to #234 - iamphoenix

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/22/2013) [-]

I don't think you quite understand how HCl works. It's not as powerful as you think.

#21 to #6 - madioliver

Reply +235 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#58 to #21 - icameheretotroll

Reply +27 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

sadism

#243 to #58 - Spavaloo

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(04/14/2013) [-]

Creativity

#19 - ascendedwings

Reply +203 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#134 to #19 - anon id: b52cdd5d

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

It's pronounced "SA-TEEN."

#31 to #19 - lordlucifer

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#43 to #19 - thereasonableperso

Reply +18 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Its sat-een actually.

#24 - otakuranger

Reply +61 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

We should make the worst criminals go down a giant cheese grater slide naked into a pool of lemon juice instead of the death penalty.

#76 to #24 - jarofdirt

Reply -2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#38 to #24 - toughactintinactin

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Or make them put toothpicks under every toenail and then kick walls

#52 to #24 - Mesmus

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#26 to #24 - magnusos

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

To then end up in a ******* pool of tobaco sauce

#25 to #24 - llamadude

Reply +83 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Or even better, use them as test subjects for new products instead of bunnies. I like cute animals :3

#36 to #25 - EdwardNigma

Reply +13 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Is it wrong if I actually think thats a good idea?

Like, it won't be simple **** like shampoo or something, oh no, that can remain on animals, it's just shampoo, who gives a ****. But like, this can range from "potentially bad" with drug testing to "horrible as ****" with weapon testing.

Crime rates would plummet, the fear of the unknown, the fear of what horrors may await in a testing facility, the fact that if they try to resist, they die, and if they don't, they suffer and MAYBE die.

#149 to #36 - dumerveil

+4 123456789123345869

has deleted their comment [-]

#229 to #149 - llamadude

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/22/2013) [-]

but the fact that we do these "cruel and unusual punishments" to animals who do not deserve it in the first place is even worse... i say if the animal did the crime, they should get the punishment; humans included

#230 to #229 - dumerveil

+1 123456789123345869

has deleted their comment [-]

#241 to #230 - llamadude

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/22/2013) [-]

Yea I understand, especially cause the matter is very subjective; a person could feel like I do or a person could feel the complete opposite. I just hate to see maltreatment of the innocent whether it be a bird, dog, or human. I feel as though if you commit a crime, then you lose your basic rights, but that's just my opinion. Kill another, and you deserve to suffer because you took away the basic rights of another.

#69 to #36 - alexanderh

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

I had a similar idea once. In my opinion, they should earn their freedom if they survive the tests. Of course, not after a single test, but after a couple of different ones. And only people who've gotten the death sentence.

#196 to #36 - bigmanfifty

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

mini-Hitler in the making

#125 to #36 - anon id: 119c3e58

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

But if we mistakenly gives em super powers then we got super villain with no super heroes

#126 to #125 - EdwardNigma

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

If it worked on the criminals, we use the same things on soldiers or something (Who volunteer of course)

I don't think super power drugs only work on criminals.

#151 to #126 - toosexyforyou

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

TL:DR It is super easy for it to work the first time on the criminal and then never again.

If you know anything about science, you'd know that any slight change/unexpected variable could completely skew your results and that's why every experiment must be recorded and someone else should be able to get the same results as you did multiple times.

#66 to #36 - triggathepirate

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Oi oi, I had an idea like that once. I was writing a script once Shhh amateur filmmaker about the government passing a law to do all different types of testing on death row convicts, and the ******* get jacked up on mutated steroids and become superhumans and ****, so then they get marines to stop them by giving them the same ****. Cheesy but eh

#27 to #25 - calawesome

Reply +4 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

That's the cutest ******* thing I've ever laid my peepers on.

#71 to #25 - harlequinlove

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

That is the happiest owl I've ever seen.

#35 to #25 - nickotak

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

That's brilliant...

#242 to #25 - anon id: c1d4bcc9

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/27/2013) [-]

That's the cutest damn thing I have ever witnessed.

#101 to #25 - moribus

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

And penis, definetly a penis.

#1 - nicolbolas

Reply +62 123456789123345869

(03/20/2013) [-]

my skin crawled

#65 - tiberioustyphr

Reply +45 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

And then....THE BEES

#80 to #65 - Blargosnarf

Reply +8 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

He's in so much pain he lost all comprehension of human life and now think's he's a sheep. "BA BA BA BA BA BA BA BA"

#156 to #80 - inbardo

Reply +4 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

This translation is better

#200 to #156 - tiberioustyphr

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

#79 - shadsword

Reply +44 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

or we can just hit them with a spoon

#191 to #79 - anon id: 83c98e06

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

funniest video i've seen in a while

#85 to #79 - scorcho

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

again and again

#155 to #85 - inbardo

Reply 0 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

and again and again and again and again

#2 - karpmin

Reply +33 123456789123345869

(03/20/2013) [-]

Some1 is a creative torture master

#86 to #2 - jonajon

Reply +1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

OH GOD!

...

COMIC SANS!

#121 - schneidend

Reply +30 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

"easy there, satan"

#120 - buttplugmaster

Reply +21 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Funnyjunk is full of ideas for the saw movies. We could keep the series going indefinitely with this ****.

#154 to #120 - fkepticalsky

Reply -1 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

That would most definitely NOT work, because for one, this is not how Jigsaw works he doesn't just kill and torture people , and two, the traps they're in is most likely related to why they're in the traps in the first place, and I can't think of something someone could have done to be put in salt and lemon juice after being paper cut all over.

#124 to #120 - HolyArachnid

Reply +5 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

I know this is a little off the reservation here, but as an old once-devoted Saw fan, that put a smile on my face. Most of the later movies hardly even scratched the surface of what could have been done with the concept.....if you're as creative a writer as Leigh, James and Darren were, the opportunities for seedy characters to test and taboos to break are simply endless.

#131 to #124 - amberleafwoohoo

Reply +5 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

i would love to read an essay or paper about that.

#133 to #131 - HolyArachnid

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Not sure if you're being a smartass or serious there.....

#138 to #133 - amberleafwoohoo

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

being completely serious. like, i imagine there are so many horrible things you could do to a person to make them like fear for their life in exquisite ways, yknow? like just how much mental and physical torture a person can actually take. but yknow. lots of people like that stuff. lots of people.

#143 to #138 - HolyArachnid

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

Ah, I see.....very true. The great thing about Saw, though - and this was lost on a lot of the "torture porn" flicks that imitated it - is that each trap is carefully constructed to mirror each character's flaws. (If you really think about the Reverse Bear Trap, for one, you couldn't even ask for a better metaphor for drug addiction: something heavy, painful and unshakeable hanging over your head, something that could ultimately drive you to kill a friend or relative if only to be rid of it.) If you play your cards right as a writer, there are dozens upon dozens of frightful weaknesses in human nature you could explore; all you need to do is come up with a group of realistic, human characters, with ways for them to interconnect and horrifying traps to reflect and challenge their natures. It's brilliant because it's so simple, and yet it has so much potential for complexity.

#144 to #143 - amberleafwoohoo

Reply +2 123456789123345869

(03/21/2013) [-]

the complexity is what i love about good horror stories and movies. the thought that everything has deeper levels hat are poignant and real to life - i think also using real-life problems on realistic people is a good basis for a story, one i liked in the couple of saw movies i've seen. the characters are relatable which will always appeal to at least one person in the audience :p