Useless Superpowers. this. Is. A. description.. USESLESS SUPERPOWERS' tattie) I l Altro ( jimme. Invisibility in the dark: Ninja Bullet attraction: Get a bunch of friends and a suit of armor. 75% levitation, weigh 1/4 of normal, super jumps. 1 second super
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Useless Superpowers

this. Is. A. description.

USESLESS SUPERPOWERS'
tattie)
I l Altro (
jimme
...
+226
Views: 19405
Favorited: 32
Submitted: 03/10/2013
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Comments(94):

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User avatar #19 - MuffinMan (03/11/2013) [-]
Invisibility in the dark: Ninja
Bullet attraction: Get a bunch of friends and a suit of armor.
75% levitation, weigh 1/4 of normal, super jumps.
1 second super strength: Punch through walls, 1 hit kill.
#55 - IamSofaKingdom (03/11/2013) [+] (1 reply)
acid tears=scientific aid   
invis in dark=still cheats night vision goggles   
remote control=what couch potato wouldn't love it?   
fruit=help bad apples make it through school   
trash detection=canadians would love it   
levitation=would help indiana jones avoid floor traps   
lamp=I love lamp   
bullet attraction=secret service, bodyguard   
mind reading=look for what you forgot in your own mind   
hair loss=hair on fire? not a problem.   
hair growth=stuck somewhere cold? albino and avoiding the sun? not a problem   
absorb bad luck=you and friend buy lotto tickets. Friend wins   
Slow mo=budget movie star   
revive bugs=save endangered bug species, worshiped by "green" organizations   
fast aging=make Robin Williams movie "Jack"   
writing=sign contracts you don't intend to honor   
1sec strength=mma/boxing. punches don't need more than one second   
laptop=sit in girls lap (or guys if that's your thing)   
seduce hats=be god of team fortress 2   
desaturation=worked for Megamind.
acid tears=scientific aid
invis in dark=still cheats night vision goggles
remote control=what couch potato wouldn't love it?
fruit=help bad apples make it through school
trash detection=canadians would love it
levitation=would help indiana jones avoid floor traps
lamp=I love lamp
bullet attraction=secret service, bodyguard
mind reading=look for what you forgot in your own mind
hair loss=hair on fire? not a problem.
hair growth=stuck somewhere cold? albino and avoiding the sun? not a problem
absorb bad luck=you and friend buy lotto tickets. Friend wins
Slow mo=budget movie star
revive bugs=save endangered bug species, worshiped by "green" organizations
fast aging=make Robin Williams movie "Jack"
writing=sign contracts you don't intend to honor
1sec strength=mma/boxing. punches don't need more than one second
laptop=sit in girls lap (or guys if that's your thing)
seduce hats=be god of team fortress 2
desaturation=worked for Megamind.
#64 - deathtrix (03/11/2013) [-]
Seduce hats...

User avatar #8 - chrolt ONLINE (03/10/2013) [+] (4 replies)
Communicating with fruit would be awesome. You can bug any place you want with a freakin' apple. Noone would suspect a thing.

You would be an awesome investigator. Break in, any witnesses? Yes the banana saw it all. Homicide, pineapple is prime witness and points out the culprit, case ******* closed!

You'd have to be able to turn it off though, or else watching people eat fruit in public would be distracting.
#61 - samoaspider (03/11/2013) [+] (2 replies)
1 second super strenght is pretty badass though, imagine getting in a fight and you just hit the opponent once for an instant knockout?
1 second super strenght is pretty badass though, imagine getting in a fight and you just hit the opponent once for an instant knockout?
User avatar #62 to #61 - RandomAnonGuy (03/11/2013) [-]
He's lifting a ******* CAR.
A punch of that magnitude wouldn't knock someone out, it'd separate them into several pieces.
#18 - lordraine ONLINE (03/11/2013) [-]
>revive bugs
>useless
You serious? There were spiders the size of goddamn tires and dragonflies the size of eagles in ancient times. That's not useless. That's ******* terrifying.

It's like that oldsauce joke about how if Spiderman shot spiders out of his wrists instead of webs, there would be no crime in New York.

If I had that power, then anyone who robbed a bank would get dragged off into the nearest manhole by centipedes longer than your ******* car.

That's necromancy PLUS giant bugs. I'm a supervillain to the third goddamn power.
User avatar #92 - squidamon (03/11/2013) [-]
>1 Second Super Strength
>Become a Boxer
> activate power while throwing first punch
> KO
>Acquire Wenches
User avatar #102 - Rileto (03/11/2013) [-]
1 second super strength, ****** awesome. Revive dead bugs, ****** awesome. Invisibility in the dark, still pretty ****** awesome.
#96 - Lbomb (03/11/2013) [+] (2 replies)
ability to turn gold into silver
ability to turn gold into silver
User avatar #98 to #96 - jafkdb (03/11/2013) [-]
That powers' usefulness is directly proportional to the amount of vampires and werewolves around.
User avatar #89 - joeyliquid (03/11/2013) [-]
One's that i can see are useful; Invisibility in the dark(You would actually be now fully invisible and not detectable by night-vision etc), control remote control(you can be lazy and not move to use the remote and you might be able to infiltrate buildings via their remote controls), read your own mind(you would have better usage over your mind and hence more intelligence), revive bugs(bug overlord), 1 second super strength(It could only take a second to threw a super punch).
#73 - makonendrak (03/11/2013) [-]
Bullet Attraction, you could save a ******* of people in a firefight
#59 - lunaisbestpony (03/11/2013) [-]
I can turn invisible... but only if nobody is looking... and if I look at myself, I become visible again.
User avatar #42 - maskedguardianmkii (03/11/2013) [-]
The invisibility in the dark thing would be awesome, and the one second super strength can still be used. Also, if it's one second, what is the recovery time before you can use it again?
#77 - azndonutboy (03/11/2013) [-]
Reading your own mind would be badass. I'd assume by mind it means your entire mind, which would give you access to memories that your brain contains but cannot recall.
User avatar #72 - muck (03/11/2013) [-]
1 second super strength, be mma fighter or boxer, never fight more than a second
#58 - nsfwanon (03/11/2013) [-]
Night time invisibility is actually really good.
User avatar #38 - musab (03/11/2013) [-]
Flight, laser vision, and teleportation,
but only works if you successfully have consensual sex with a woman you are attracted to.
User avatar #37 - alphawolffifteen (03/11/2013) [-]
1: Collect acid tears...use them somehow
2: Still works, people can see in the dark, might as well be a nocturnal invisible man....not a bad power at all.
3: No trouble finding the remote, amaze friends by hiding remote and seemingly controlling the tv with your mind.
4: If you have no friends(of course you don't) now you have things to talk with that can't leave you.
5: No more asking where the trash is...
6: Decreased gravity.
7: Depending on the flexibility of where the lamp is, at what time, and what size/material you can make out of it...meh
8: Get inside giant move-able shelter, be used in military
9: May help if you have psychological problems.
10: This sucks
11: Some people actually have this
12: Be a hero, absorb all bad luck - make the world good a nice place and die of random pianos falling
13: Impress crowds by doing stuff in super slow motion in a perfectly convincing way
14: Traveling bug reviver magician, keep pet bugs with you, if you like a certain one
15: Sucks to be you
16: Can't be required to do any written work!
17: Strong punches, throws, and other things....awesome
18: Depending on the owner...can't be too bad
19: At least something will love you
20: Become a work of art, so at least someone will love your body.
Only 2 of these are COMPLETELY useless as far as I can tell.
#5 - nephrithotroll (03/10/2013) [-]
Revive spiders and scorpions as undead slaves to do my evil bidding by make the girls in toilets stalls scream in fear as they can't kill them as other spiders and scorpions have mini camera's to make pictures of their vagina's.
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