Dr Ozzy

Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of meat" just loud enough for them to listen. Does anyone actually read the description? Probably not. I like tacos. I mean, really, who thought of that? "let's just put some meat in a handy dandy carrying device, and top it with cheese n' shit!" I'm not sure who it was, but that man is a genius. Why do the commercials show five gum to be so gloriou...more »

Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of meat" just loud enough for them to listen. Does anyone actually read the description? Probably not. I like tacos. I mean, really, who thought of that? "let's just put some meat in a handy dandy carrying device, and top it with cheese n' shit!" I'm not sure who it was, but that man is a genius. Why do the commercials show five gum to be so glorious? I've had it. It ain't amazing. I mean, it's decent, for gum, but eh. Are you actually reading this? No, you're not. But if you were, you would get a prize. But a shitty prize, like five gum and no tacos. What does something look like that's smaller than the size of light? Would we be able to see it even? Or would it just be invisible, no matter how much magnification you look through. I still have about 1600 words to write, so I'm just getting started. Have any of you ever been farted on? I can tell you, it ain't pretty. But, I suppose, it can be kinky if done right. At this point, I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I ain't erasing anything. Oh, when I said I had 1600 words, I meant characters. It's significantly less now, though. Why do people kill eachother in such large quantities? If we focused all that energy into sexy orgies, the world would be a hotter place. Once I tried to get my dog to give me a blowjob. If you're still reading this, you win a story. Once upon a time in a magical land of hookers, you got laid. I feel bad for that, it seems kinda like I was saying you can't get laid outside of magical hooker lands. What do hookers taste like? Probably like a dumpster. I like dumpsters. They have so much uses. How many nipples would I need to harvest to make a nipple coat? I don't mean a coat with nipples on it, either. I mean a coat made completely out of nipples. With nipples holding it all together. I'd probably need a butt ton of nipples. I wonder how many nipples I could get if I went to my local preschool. Nobody cares about children that young, either, so I'd be in the complete clear. They say you never get caught on the first time. I wonder if my nipple coat would get caught. Nah. Have you ever tried to turn nipples into a coat? It's not easy. The size differences, as well as texture and color, makes it hard to work out. I wonder how big the average dog nipple is. Do you know? Probably not. Nobody actually searches for that stuff. But they're soft, at least.