Dr Ozzy. Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of meat" jus
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Dr Ozzy

Dr Ozzy. Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of meat" jus

Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of meat" just loud enough for them to listen. Does anyone actually read the description? Probably not. I like tacos. I mean, really, who thought of that? "let's just put some meat in a handy dandy carrying device, and top it with cheese n' **** !" I'm not sure who it was, but that man is a genius. Why do the commercials show five gum to be so glorious? I've had it. It ain't amazing. I mean, it's decent, for gum, but eh. Are you actually reading this? No, you're not. But if you were, you would get a prize. But a ****** prize, like five gum and no tacos. What does something look like that's smaller than the size of light? Would we be able to see it even? Or would it just be invisible, no matter how much magnification you look through. I still have about 1600 words to write, so I'm just getting started. Have any of you ever been farted on? I can tell you, it ain't pretty. But, I suppose, it can be kinky if done right. At this point, I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I ain't erasing anything. Oh, when I said I had 1600 words, I meant characters. It's significantly less now, though. Why do people kill eachother in such large quantities? If we focused all that energy into sexy orgies, the world would be a hotter place. Once I tried to get my dog to give me a blowjob. If you're still reading this, you win a story. Once upon a time in a magical land of hookers, you got laid. I feel bad for that, it seems kinda like I was saying you can't get laid outside of magical hooker lands. What do hookers taste like? Probably like a dumpster. I like dumpsters. They have so much uses. How many nipples would I need to harvest to make a nipple coat? I don't mean a coat with nipples on it, either. I mean a coat made completely out of nipples. With nipples holding it all together. I'd probably need a butt ton of nipples. I wonder how many nipples I could get if I went to my local preschool. Nobody cares about children that young, either, so I'd be in the complete clear. They say you never get caught on the first time. I wonder if my nipple coat would get caught. Nah. Have you ever tried to turn nipples into a coat? It's not easy. The size differences, as well as texture and color, makes it hard to work out. I wonder how big the average dog nipple is. Do you know? Probably not. Nobody actually searches for that stuff. But they're soft, at least.

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Views: 60683
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Submitted: 02/23/2013
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Comments(96):

[ 96 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#16 - siksteen (02/23/2013) [-]
"I wonder how big the avarage dog nipples are"
#3 - oharo (02/23/2013) [-]
Jesus that description. Nice one OP.   
You are not a fag on this day.
Jesus that description. Nice one OP.
You are not a fag on this day.
User avatar #69 to #3 - yourlifeisalie (02/23/2013) [-]
even if the content is a repost?
User avatar #108 to #69 - haunterbrony (02/24/2013) [-]
How many times do people have to say it, this site is for the ******* funny and not for OC. OC is good most of the time, but if it ain't funny its worthless.
#26 - MasterManiac (02/23/2013) [-]
MFW description
MFW description
#14 - felixjarl ONLINE (02/23/2013) [-]
What in the hell is in that description?
#4 - churrundo ONLINE (02/23/2013) [-]
MFW "sea-biscuit"   
MFW "torpedo hatch"   
MFW "			************		"
MFW "sea-biscuit"
MFW "torpedo hatch"
MFW " ************ "
#44 - willindor (02/23/2013) [-]
MFW second answer.
+10
#43 - fluffykoopa **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#86 - mattzoman (02/23/2013) [-]
Lost it at Sea Biscuit.
User avatar #52 - nucularwar (02/23/2013) [-]
"First time I ever went to America, I needed a smoke so I asked someone where I could bum a fag and got some really weird looks." - Ozzy
#55 to #52 - ManInKilt (02/23/2013) [-]
best ive read yet. thank you
best ive read yet. thank you
User avatar #56 to #55 - nucularwar (02/23/2013) [-]
quite welcome. source is the "classic albums" movie about Paranoid
#21 - halfdemon (02/23/2013) [-]
i never got dick pimples, am i gonna die fj?
User avatar #37 to #21 - bladebites (02/23/2013) [-]
Obviously
User avatar #42 to #21 - Ombra (02/23/2013) [-]
It's a possibility/
User avatar #22 to #21 - ilovehitler (02/23/2013) [-]
Yes
User avatar #23 to #21 - astraea (02/23/2013) [-]
Yes.
User avatar #25 to #21 - ultimoz (02/23/2013) [-]
Yes.
User avatar #35 to #21 - evilpapagali ONLINE (02/23/2013) [-]
No.

Oh wait, yes.
#9 - maginmaniac (02/23/2013) [-]
Damn it OP, no-one ever pays me in gum.
#45 - bigsaltyballs (02/23/2013) [-]
mfw nipple coat
#30 - nippuhl (02/23/2013) [-]
This image has expired
One time I was in the Delaware river tubing with my family and a friend around 2 years ago. He took a **** in his hand under the water, and threw it at me.

I have never been so disgusted in my whole life.
#29 - trollbearcat (02/23/2013) [-]
mfw 			************		 right in the chops
mfw ************ right in the chops
User avatar #63 - xankon (02/23/2013) [-]
ho god i was rewarded for reading that description hahahahha
#81 - derfnerf (02/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
+4
#10 - newfiefromhell **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #8 - edftw (02/23/2013) [-]
For your nipple coat just ask Ed Gein, he made a nipple belt so get the size of said nipple belt and just go from there
#70 - ragnarfag (02/23/2013) [-]
TEENAGE MUTAN... pus-filled dick pimples
#101 - sweateagle (02/23/2013) [-]
>post
>description
> **********
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