Comebacks

Churchill was sort of an asshole, huh?

Woman: Mr president, what shall you do in order to fulfill the need of the people effect by the war?

George Washington: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

fucking love this glorious bastard

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one."

Churchill to Shaw: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one."

I never get tired of this, no matter how many times it is posted.

That wasn't a fart

I've always considered Coolidge one of America's more bitchin' presidents. He once asked someone to go with him to get a soda. The other man was overjoyed that he got to get a soft drink with the president, and chatted him up the whole way there. Coolidge put his own bottle on the counter, the man putting his right next to it. The president paid the bill, and the other man said, "Mr. President, this is only enough for ONE soda."

Coolidge replied, "I know. I said COME with me to get a soda."

And he just fucking walked out.

Calving Fucking Coolidge.

You missed the best Churchill
One night, at a 1912 party at his family estate, Churchill apparently got quite boisterous and irked American socialite Nancy Astor. At her wit's end, Astor stated, "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." Churchill replied: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

oscar wilde was the sassiest of gay men. just read the importance of being earnest. he based the character algernon on himself.

John Quincy Adams:I would not be present to witness her disgrace in conferring her highest literary honors on a barbarian who could not write a sentence of grammar and could hardly spell his own name.
Andrew Jackson:It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word.

Motzart was a boss in every way.


He was the charlie sheen of the 18th century

MFW everything

**rollcore rolled a random image posted in comment #122 at Too much **

Even before I started hitting the comments, I thought to myself, "This whole thing is going to be a fapping-to-Churchill thread"

I wasn't disappointed, and I couldn't be happier

When I saw the top, I thought, "oh great, this post again."
I was pleasantly surprised however, to find that there were actually quite a few here that I had never seen before.
Good job. You earned my thumb (but you won't get it, because I'm thumb-banned).