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Back to the content 'Alone'
I dunno about you lot but I reckon the true notion of being alone isn't even the lack of friends, it's the lack of girls, relationships and sexual interactions in your life.
No, for me it is having no friends or friends who talk to you when they want something and i am in a healthy relationship. I have the worst imaginable friends in university. I'm pretty good at studies and they say it on my face that the only reason they befriended me was to study and you know the saddest part? After knowing all that i still teach them and help them whenever i can going out of my way sometimes so i won't end up alone again.
I hope this doesn't come across as condescending or rude, but that could just be because you've never been without friends and thus take them for granted, so the lack of a relationship with a girl seems amplified.
nope, not condescending or rude. I was not popular whatsoever back in school days, in fact, I was a loser. I only had 2 main friends throughout my school and if I ended up in class away from them, then I ended up the complete social outcast where I was often the victim of harassment or teasing by the more popular cliques. I only became fairly respected amongst my peers during my second year of university but was sometimes looked down upon as this 'twat'.
I've made solid groups of friends since, I get along with many people, I've been invited to many parties here and there but after a while, the glamour of friendship and socializing sort of gets overrated. I prefer being alone in my room on the internet as opposed to spending long hours with people socializing, going to loud clubs etc. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, I appreciate them and all but I still feel unfulfilled in the girl factor. I can go ages being antisocial but get really depressed if I go without having some form of physical contact with another woman.
tl;dr: I feel it's easy to make friends since all you have to do is just be a nice guy and older people are more accepting. Girls on the other hand, if you have to be special and stand out amongst all the others to get them. I just don't feel like I'm validated or accepted without a girl choosing me.
through experience it can go both ways. personally, i had a good high school life. hung out with all the "popular" people, went to plenty of parties, and had flings with a couple of girls. graduation day hit, and i dun goof'd hard - accepting all responsibility, i did something really stupid causing my main group of friends to abandon me.
anyway, going into university by myself, i felt alone with no friends and no girlfriend, but after my first year there i started meeting good people and sparking friendships in acquaintances who helped me along the way. 4 years in, found myself longing for a girlfriend and feeling extremely lonely although i had my new group of friends.
met a girl through work last year. dated her for a year and a half. super destructive relationship, she cheated on me, she turned out to be suicidal, basically ate my time and destroyed my life. my friends didn't approve of her and i ended up neglecting them because i spent all my time with her. broke up with her this christmas after she pulled a knife on me. crazy girl.
it's been a month since we broke up and i find myself no longer longing for a girl, or any relationship at all right now. although i do know i have the capability of finding a girl i would much rather be single for now - and it is not a fear based choice, it is just that i had realized that i don't need a girl at the moment and my friends are what is important. they came back to me and supported me after everything, and i feel i could die happily with just having them by my side.
In a way, I am the same as you, but the opposite. I am 26 now, grew up as an only child. Popular through school and college and in my local town with lots of my peers, mainly through playing in a band. Got invited to parties all the time, had sex all the time and all the usual ****. But even with all of that it didn't feel right. Went on to have a wife and 4 kids, own business and living a nice life. Wife left with kids 8 months ago now, friends been there, going to parties again and ****.
But in the cold light of day, I prefer to stay in, by myself and enjoy the wonders of the Internet. I don't know what this makes me, but I enjoy it. For some reason makes me happy. I think it is mainly to do with the case of being an only child and always being happy in my own company. So when I'm on my own I never feel lonely.
Sorry that went on for a bit, just thought I'd share with you all.
Back to the content 'Alone'