Zombie Survivalist. www.facebook.com/BulletProofTacoShell Anyone else have any zombie survivalist ideas?. I Kal Jig: 9. Ill Like ' Comment ' Share' sth IOC) (Q  zombies
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#11 - ascendedwings
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(01/28/2013) [-]
#43 to #11 - blackrookfiend
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Zombies are like us with all the best stuff taken away. We've eliminated several species of animal, and brought others to the brink of extinction. And we're not even super trying.
If zombies strolled into town, we probably wouldn't have to deal with it. Because everyone else would be.

If I had to, I would. It wouldn't be very hard. I can use implements.
#49 to #11 - anon id: 172634f0
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(01/28/2013) [-]
the worst is that we are more prepared for an zombie invasion then the spider infestation in our own basement -.-' what is wrong with us!!!
User avatar #148 to #11 - EdwardNigma
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Spiders are innocent, they don't WANT to kill you, they do it out of defense.

A zombie wants you ******* dead. Granted, I'd be scared ******** when zombies spawn and won't last long, but I'll be damned if I don't manage to find the fury to beat the **** out of at least one.
#142 to #11 - narufable
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(01/28/2013) [-]
LOL
#150 to #11 - wintersolice
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#125 to #11 - kokanium **User deleted account**
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User avatar #25 to #11 - jetpistol
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Yeah... I'd probably be more scared by a spider than a zombie. Like seriously, zombies are stupid slow noisy *****. You can hear/see them from a mile away.
Spiders on the other hand are sneaky and deadly. Some of them can even jump. They can be killed easily, but their army is infinite.
#69 to #25 - anon id: 13534fe9
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(01/28/2013) [-]
>I'm going to be more scared of an insignificant insect that's also afraid of me than a relentless flesh eating monster that I'm implying is going to be noisy and slow because fiction told me so
#83 to #69 - jetpistol
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(01/28/2013) [-]
>"Insignificant"
Those things can be big. And hairy.
And yes, since zombies dont exist I'm using the most well known model of the dumb-slow zombie who only eats human flesh

pic unrelated
#90 to #69 - capinsquiggles
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I don't know about you but the ******* spider that jumped from the god damn ceiling after a split second of seeing me, landing on my arm and then digging its devil teeth into my skin, wasn't afraid of me one bit
User avatar #105 to #69 - hanakoikezawa
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Don't forget that they're dead....and rotting for that matter.
User avatar #24 to #11 - hangingtree
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(01/28/2013) [-]
A zombie is just a dead human.
A spider is the spawn of Satan.
Which one is easier to kill?
#39 to #24 - darthjangopwnz
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(01/28/2013) [-]
The spider.
#225 to #39 - iamnotgoodwithname
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(01/29/2013) [-]
is that the lich king's boot?
#205 to #39 - anon id: aa540641
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(01/29/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![big]**
they can hear, and see what your visually thinking
this is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces, segregate from everybody else-only associate with Asians and don’t associate with non Asians that much, are very untalkative, and are very unfriendly in general is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read minds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they don’t like, find astonishing, or funny etc because those people might see that and really wonder what that was that just happened there and see the connection, and they might accidentally say something similar to what the person was just thinking and going to say. If they all associated with non Asians a lot more then there would be a lot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those people think things they don’t like etc, so they segregate and only associate with Asians so there won’t be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place.

Try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something absolutely wild as you possibly can when you are around Asians, and try looking for Asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!!!
#22 - thatniggerguy
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Just accept it.
Just accept it.
User avatar #53 to #22 - admiralen
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(01/28/2013) [-]
zombies cant run though
User avatar #55 to #53 - thatniggerguy
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I guess, depends on what kind of zombies we're talking about.
#73 to #53 - hocolol **User deleted account**
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User avatar #100 to #73 - admiralen
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(01/28/2013) [-]
thats the infected, not zombies
#126 to #22 - kokanium **User deleted account**
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#134 to #126 - thatniggerguy
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(01/28/2013) [-]
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
User avatar #184 to #22 - spaceturtlecadet
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I would never wish for somebody to be eaten alive. It's my worst fear. I'm kind of like Ben from the Walking Dead game.
User avatar #111 to #22 - skinless
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(01/28/2013) [-]
i'd rather put a bullet in brain then be eaten alive
#33 to #22 - warlockrichard
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#44 to #22 - marlkarxthethird
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(01/28/2013) [-]
We must survive!
We must survive!
#48 to #44 - thatniggerguy
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(01/28/2013) [-]
It is inevitable, embrace your untimely death.
It is inevitable, embrace your untimely death.
#45 - cmcghie
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Considering that the closest disease we have relating to a "zombie" virus is rabies, I would just hunker down in my basement and seal off the house. Rabies patients go insane for a few days, but can't eat or drink, so when they reach the phase where they bite and spread the disease, they are close to death, and very weak.

Any real disease that breaks down the nervous system and targets the brain would only let the host survive for a maximum of 4-6 weeks, assuming water could still be consumed. If it required an exchange of bodily fluids to be spread, the infection could be easily avoided, assuming you live in a rural area which I do.

Worst case scenario, it's airborne and can be spread through coughing and sneezing. Most airborne diseases die within minutes of leaving the host's body, but can spread very fast, as in NYC could be completely infected in a day.

In either case, I have supplies to outlast the initial breakout, and the mass die off that would follow. Also, necrotic flesh becomes extremely weak rapidly, so any worries about zombies breaking down doors and getting into a secure hideout are not realistic. My main concern would be other humans looking for supplies. This is what I would save my ammunition for.

Anyways, if you have a 3 month supply of food/water, you can survive just about any mass outbreak of disease by sealing yourself into your house and keeping quiet. Once the majority of the population and infected are dead, survival would actually be fairly easy, and many food species populations would explode in the absence of humans. Fishing and hunting would become extremely viable. Your only worry now is running into groups of people who are not as well off as you. Assuming you made it this far, congrats, now you can live your life carefree doing whatever you please without the strains of regular society.

User avatar #52 to #45 - spjlapj
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(01/28/2013) [-]
what if a survivalist had a steam roller and smashed straight into your house and then fell though the floor and somehow killed you

GOOD FIGHT
#124 to #45 - washund
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#136 to #45 - Mojake
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You're gonna feel like a tool when you pop to the local supermarket to restock on bottled water/tinned food for your apocalypse and somebody sneezes on you.
#51 to #45 - shadowstuart
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(01/28/2013) [-]
User avatar #62 to #45 - toxicchameleon
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Except for that, once you had sealed yourself in, you cannot leave.
The fish and wildlife would most likely be infected. Not to mention the dead bodies would decay into the soil, ruining the crops that grow there.
Safest bet would be to have a Hydroponic farm and live down there with friends and family. Like Fallout.
User avatar #74 to #62 - cmcghie
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Other animals rarely carry diseases that humans carry, and once cooked, would be safe to eat regardless. Water can be boiled to remove viruses and bacteria as well. It's not perfect, but it's about as safe as you can be during an outbreak.
User avatar #84 to #74 - toxicchameleon
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I agree, however better safe than sorry in these situations.
Also, unless the Underground system was adopted, I have no idea how humanity would be able to sustain. In groups of about 60 you'd get maybe 1 baby every 3 years.
Population would drop so quickly it'd be ridiculous. The only way to sustain like that would be inbreeding, and if you're gonna' do that you may as well be a zombie.
User avatar #88 to #84 - cmcghie
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Oh I agree about that completely. After a hit like a zombie apocalypse it's very unlikely that humans would recover numbers to present levels, if we ever recovered at all.
#82 to #62 - gojiraman
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(01/28/2013) [-]
If you move to the countryside there will be allot less zombies and therefore less infected soil and water, if that somehow should be a problem.
#14 - felixjarl
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(01/28/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Wearing knight Armour would be much more practical to use.
User avatar #37 to #14 - kneehumper
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Knight armour would suck when you have 30 zombies lying on top of you trying to gnaw it away
User avatar #18 to #14 - maskedhippo
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Knight armor is extremely impractical. It's hot, noisy, and it can be torn off.
User avatar #19 to #18 - masdercheef
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(01/28/2013) [-]
And this is more practical? Have fun fitting that thing indoors when it starts to rain. If the zombies don't get you, pneumonia will.
User avatar #21 to #19 - maskedhippo
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I wasn't defending the ball.
User avatar #40 to #21 - masdercheef
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(01/28/2013) [-]
oh, sorry about misinterpreting.
#46 to #18 - draxdiesel
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(01/28/2013) [-]
he could be talking about chainmail. and by the way from what ive heard knight armour while still pretty heavy is actually surprisingly mobile
User avatar #32 to #18 - Rockaman
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I have a full suit of chainmaile and once you get used to the weight its like a second skin. Good luck zombies biting through that!
User avatar #70 to #32 - maskedhippo
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(01/28/2013) [-]
a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
User avatar #77 to #70 - Rockaman
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Which is why each one is riveted to four others, then a link in chainmaile can be lost and still hold structure. Plus the rivets are as hard as **** (had to anneal some when I adjusted the suit for me) so once again I say good luck for the zombie trying to get through it!
User avatar #80 to #77 - maskedhippo
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Alright. Just keep in mind, you get still could some kind of cut from debris or zombie fingernails, since it does have openings, and all it takes is a little bit of fluid from a zombie getting on that to turn you.
User avatar #86 to #80 - Rockaman
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Well the debries would then have to get through a stiff horse-hair padded jacket, plus I would wear a leather jerkin on top of the chainmaile to stop it from getting wet in rain.
User avatar #87 to #86 - maskedhippo
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Well...sounds like you're all set then. You just need something for the rest of your body.
#89 to #87 - Rockaman
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Its a full suit- like this, am literately covered head to toe in the stuff!
User avatar #92 to #89 - maskedhippo
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Oh. Oh, snap. You, uh...you wouldn't happen to have a spare, would you?
#98 to #92 - Rockaman
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Wish I could afford 2 sets! You can find butcher's maile quite easily - protective mail to stop cleavers from chopping hands off, etc.
User avatar #23 to #18 - corsairjoshua
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I think some thick leather pads around the sensitive areas like the shoulders, arms, and legs would be damn handy.
#15 - dafogman
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#57 to #15 - ultimatepowah
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#71 to #57 - guavaaddict
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User avatar #58 to #15 - toxicchameleon
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Unless they're solar powered, you're gonna have a problem.
#189 to #15 - spaceturtlecadet
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Zombies continue for ages, they get really buff. They're going to swarm it or buff zombies will easily over come it.   
strong as **** zombies charging you inside. Accept your fate.
Zombies continue for ages, they get really buff. They're going to swarm it or buff zombies will easily over come it.
strong as **** zombies charging you inside. Accept your fate.
User avatar #9 - kingxddd
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(01/28/2013) [-]
into the water
#64 - ofmiceandmen
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I live in a relatively large city for Iowa (30,000 people) but within 15 minutes I can be in the country where there are few houses with sometimes miles in between. I know of some places that I could hold up and wait it out. They're out in the middle of ******* nowhere and would be easy to secure. I can also hunt and fish pretty well so I have a food supply and am skilled with multiple weapons including a crossbow which I think is a great idea.

**** you zombies.
#76 to #64 - anon id: 17edd94e
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Yeah because what you just said wasn't complete and utter ********
User avatar #85 to #76 - ofmiceandmen
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(01/28/2013) [-]
1. It's all true.
2. You're an anon. You don't matter.
#101 to #85 - coonseth
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*1. You're an anon. You don't matter.
*1. You're an anon. You don't matter.
User avatar #93 to #85 - trampballs
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Do you not see how sad it is proclaiming on Funnyjunk that you would be an ultimate zombie survivalist and making out that you are the ******* equalivant to Bear Grylls?
User avatar #96 to #93 - ofmiceandmen
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Sure don't.
#91 to #64 - tyroneisanigger
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Davenport, bettendorf, Burlington? You live in any of those. Also, I.O.W.A = Idiots Out Walking Around (Just kidding) I'm one state to the east,
User avatar #94 to #91 - ofmiceandmen
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Clinton. But those are all relatively nearby.
#114 to #64 - randomfemale
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I live in a small town to the south of Iowa City. Just thought I'd share that. Never found a fellow Iowan on FJ.
I live in a small town to the south of Iowa City. Just thought I'd share that. Never found a fellow Iowan on FJ.
User avatar #135 to #114 - ofmiceandmen
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Iowa FTW!
#65 to #64 - luckydane
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(01/28/2013) [-]
neat....
neat....
User avatar #66 to #65 - ofmiceandmen
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Just sharing what I would do in this situation like everyone else.
User avatar #68 to #66 - luckydane
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(01/28/2013) [-]
I guess your right..
#54 - dirtyharold
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(01/28/2013) [-]
yeah and this guy has a way better chance of getting through doors
User avatar #27 - iamaderp
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(01/28/2013) [-]
It would be better if he put spike all over the ball...





think of how much zombies you would kill.
User avatar #31 to #27 - Blargosnarf
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(01/28/2013) [-]
Three, and then he gets stuck.
#34 to #27 - pornoranger
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you'd have a dramatic traction boost
#122 - desacabose
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Expectation
#123 to #122 - desacabose
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Reality