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#146 - dickincunt (01/26/2013) [-]
Let me tell you all something about scratching your balls: I'm a pro
I started at a young age, 3rd or 4th grade right as the peach fuzziest of pubes were growing. At that time I had already figured out the pinch and roll, and where most kids my age or older were reserved about soothing the itch, I was not. I had no shame, none. I would pinch and roll in church, pinch n' roll at school, at home, pinch n roll pinch n roll pinch n' roll.

Soon this was not enough. I need relief and the ol P n' R wasn't going to cut it. So I grew out my nails. Not too long mind you, just long enough, maybe an 1/8 of an inch beyond my finger tips. Then, with my talons i would dig into the mysterious land between balls and butt hole and i would drag them back to front and thus scratch the back of my balls. the only problem with this was it only worked in that specific area, trying to scratch with my nails in other areas was futile. Due to the looseness of my scrotum, I just couldn't apply the necessary force. I needed something similar to my nails, that I could use in all directions, back to front, shaft to bottom, balls to taint. I needed something flat and smooth, and just the right thickness.

Itunes gift cards.

They were perfect. By holding the tip of my penis up and away from my sugar lumps, I could relieve the fire from the base of my penis to the bottom of my balls, and with a similar method as I used with my nails, I could take car of the rest. This triumph was not to last.

Like Icarus, I flew clse to the sun. You see, while the credit card could relieve all the nooks and cranny's of my ball sack, they did not do so equally. My balls are wrinklier than most, and while the valleys of these folds were dandy the peaks where worn don and raw. In this fashion, i irritated my family jewels into chaffing.
#148 to #146 - dickincunt (01/26/2013) [-]
First they got red and puffy, If you were to touch them at this stage i would have writhed in agony as the skin on my balls was as sensitive as an exposed bone, or a pinched nerve in your tooth.
Then, almost mercifully they crusted over with thin paper like scabs which made the most curious sound when i walked. like the paper of an old book fluttering in the breeze on a late summer's day.
Finally, without warning, the crust began to crackle and then fall off in tiny pieces of dander. In my impatience I quickly scraped off all but the most stubborn of ball-flakes with my trusty $15 Itunes giftcard.

Learning my lesson I sought out a new tool to sooth my damned and ravaged crotch. Which is when I found the scrub-brush. It has bristles similar to the one pictured in my first comment but is black with an opaque handle. With this scepter, I scrub my balls every night after my shower and before bed. Abating the twin terror testicles mighty itchiness.

But- while all may be fine in the present moment, there may come such a day when my scrub brush shall not be enough. I do not fear many things, but I truly live in terror of that day.
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