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Maintenance engineer shenanigans
(Marked by an "S")
After every flight. FEDEX pilots out a form, known
as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems
with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and
then document their repairs on the form.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted
by the pilots (marked with a "PH and the solutions
recorded [marked by an "5") by maintenance
engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
St Left Inside main the almost replaced.
P: Test flight UK, except dutchland very rough.
St Dutchland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
5: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
St Live bugs on back order.
Pt Auto pilot in mode produces a 200
feet per minute descent.
St Can' t reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
til: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
St DME volume set more believeable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That' s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in {FF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode,
P: Suspect crack in windshield.
St Suspect you' re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
St Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, tht right and
be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit
St Cat installed in cockpit:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something
with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems
with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and
then document their repairs on the form.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted
by the pilots (marked with a "PH and the solutions
recorded [marked by an "5") by maintenance
engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
St Left Inside main the almost replaced.
P: Test flight UK, except dutchland very rough.
St Dutchland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
5: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
St Live bugs on back order.
Pt Auto pilot in mode produces a 200
feet per minute descent.
St Can' t reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
til: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
St DME volume set more believeable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That' s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in {FF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode,
P: Suspect crack in windshield.
St Suspect you' re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
St Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, tht right and
be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit
St Cat installed in cockpit:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something
with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
...
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#3
-
anonymoose (01/19/2013) [+]
(1 reply)
P:Mouse in cockpit
S:Cat installed in cockpit
was my favourite.
S:Cat installed in cockpit
was my favourite.
#16
-
SILENCEnight (01/19/2013) [+]
(2 replies)
**SILENCEnight rolled a random image posted in comment #105 at The greatest hero ** oh you silly engineers
#12
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Bion ONLINE (01/19/2013) [-] God damn, I have seen this on there so many times. But it is so fucking funny that I don't give a shit.
#29
-
sircool (01/20/2013) [+]
(4 replies)
if that ninth one is true, then some FedEx pilots are bad asses, flying into war zones or some shit where they need an IFF
#77
-
slickwilly (01/20/2013) [+]
(3 replies)
Plane needs to be told to 'straighten up' a second time.
#65
-
timerce (01/20/2013) [+]
(2 replies)
you know, when it comes to reposts. it takes more energy to whine and bitch in the comments than it does simply to skip over the content. maybe someone hasnt seen this and they appreciate it being reposted. either way is it the end of the world when someone posts something hey may not know was already posted here?
#85
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fiddyone (01/20/2013) [+]
(2 replies)
"Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
Evidence removed"
Brilliant!
Evidence removed"
Brilliant!
#74
-
N. Korean citizen (01/20/2013) [-]
not really, My dad worked on F-16's and a pilot said.
P: Sound unfamiliar.
S: Ran jet for 1 hour, Sound now familiar.
P: Sound unfamiliar.
S: Ran jet for 1 hour, Sound now familiar.
#66
-
freedcomedy (01/20/2013) [+]
(1 reply)
I gave it a thumbs up because it's funny, but I suspect this was originally a military joke that's been circulating for some time and later attached to Fed Ex. An IFF (Identify Friend or Foe) and a targeting radar would not be installed on a fed ex aircraft.
