The Motherfucking Flash. not OC, and maybe a repost but much too awesome to abstain from posting it now.. PERSONAL FAVORITE FROM A FRIEND: THE , FLASH NOW, I DO
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The Motherfucking Flash

not OC, and maybe a repost but much too awesome to abstain from posting it now.

PERSONAL FAVORITE FROM A FRIEND:
THE , FLASH
NOW, I DON' T KNOW HOW MANY OF YOU DOGS OF THE SCURVIEST SEA READ COMICS,
BUT I DO A BIG FILE OF COMICS. the THING THAT BLOWS MY MIND IS HOW
COMPLETELY INSANE THE POWERS IN THE " UNIVERSE ARE. LOOK AT SUPERMAN.
THIS GUY HAS MORE POWERS THAN FRENCH RESTAURANTS HAVE WAYS TO SAY "YOUR
TASTE IN WINE IS ''. HE HAS POWERS TO DO WITH EVERY PART OF HIS
BODY AND THEN SOME. HE FORGETS POWERS SOMETIMES. HE CAN SHOOT HEAT RAYS
our OF HIS EYES, FROST BREATH FROM HIS MOUTH AND RED SON RADIATION FROM
HIS ASS. HE' S THAT SORT OF CRAIG DUDE. PILL BECAUSE HE ABSORBS SOLAR
RADIATION.
LOOK AT BATMAN. Hrs POWER? THE ANTI“ POWER. SURE, HE SHOULD BE EEMA
NAME, EEMA FUN MASTER OF NOT MUCH, BUT INSTEAD HE' S THE HOTTEST SHIT TO
EVER SHIT ON A PLATE. You GOT A POWER? HEEL FIND YOUR WEAKNESS AND GIVE
YOU SEISURES OR HEART ATTACKS. HE' LL LIGHT YOU ON FIRE WHEN YOU' RE SLEEPING
OR MAKE YOU RECHARGE YOUR GREEN LANTERN RING IN THE POWER OUTLET. TEN
THOUSAND VOLTS OF FUCK YOU BATMAN. THAT' S BATMAN.
BET THE FUCKING FLASH. MY GOD, MY FUCKING GOD, THIS MAN HAS THE
GREATEST POWERS OF ALL. " ' E POWERS ARE BEING SUCKED OFF BY TWIN
SUPER MODELS AND BATMAN COMING HOME TO DISCOVER YOUR WIFE IS NOT ONLY
BISEXUAL BUT HAS TWO FRIENDS SHE WANTS YOU TO 'SET IN orf THEN THE FLASH IS
AN ORGY WITH A THOUSAND WOMEN WHO ALSO WANT TO PAY YOUR WORLD OF
WARCRAFT BILLING. AND CLICK THE MOUSE FOR YOU. THIS MAN IS JUST THAT
FUCKING HOT. THEY HAVE TO POWER HIM DOWN IN THE COMICS HALF THE TIME JUST
TO KEEP HIM FROM DOING EVERYONE ELSE'S JOB.
FIRST OFF, HE CAN TRAVEL AT LIGHTSPEED. MOTHER Nor ONLY DOES HE
TRAVEL AT LIGHTSPEED, BUT TIME SLOWS DOWN FOR HIM, So HE FEELS LIKE HEIS
HAVING A CASUAL JOG OR READING THE PAPER, MEANWHILE, HIS FEET ARE MOVING
SO FAST YOU CAN HEAR HIM COMING FROM MONTANA WHILE HE' S ALREADY GOTTEN
TO ARIZONA. THAT' S FUCKING FAST. Bur MAIN THE ABILITY TO MOVE AT
LIGHTSPEED JUST ISN' T FUCKING ENOUGH!
I KNOW! CHRIST THIS GUY CAN PUNCH YOU SO MANY TIMES IN A SECOND YOU'
BEEN HIT FIVE TIMES IN THE COCK AND TWO TIMES EVERYWHERE ELSE. You THINK
YOU' RE ABOUT TO FIGHT THE FLASH AND THEN IT HITS YOU, FOR THE LAST SPLIT
SECOND HE' S BEANED YOUR BEANBAGS WITH MORE BLOWS THAN YOU HAD SPERM. Bur
NO, THERE' S MORE.’
THE FLASH CAN ALIE VIBRATE THROUGH WALLS. Nor; LAST I HEARD, YOU CAN NOT
MOVE SO FAST YOU CAN VIBRATE THROUGH WALLS, SO WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IS THE
FLASH IS SO FAST HE CAN PICK AND CHOOSE THE MOVEMENT OF HIS INDIVIDUAL
MOLECULES AND MOVE THEM THROUGH OTHER SOLID OBJECTS, PHASING THROUGH SOLID
MATTER LIKE IT AIN' T NO THING. I MEAN YOU THINK A GUY WHO RUNS AT
LIGHTSPEED WOULD RUN INTO SHIT BUT NO, THE FLASH JUST GOES RIGHT THROUGH
THEM. To TOP THAT WITH A CHERRY AND SOME WHIPPED CREAM (WHICH THE FLASH
MADE IN LIKE A MILLISECOND, FUCKER) HE CAN SELECTIVELY CHOOSE TO CAUSE
OBJECTS TO BE "our" OR FUCKING EXPLODE. THAT' S RIGHT. HE
CAN RUN THROUGH YOU IND MAKE mu ELEM UP BY KINETIC ENEMY
INTE YOU. LIKE JESUS. IT' s BAD ENOUGH mu CAN' T HIT THIS GUY, BUT HE
DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO PUNCH YOU. Non YOUR TESTICLES HAVE EXPLODED AND
YOU' RE THINKING YOU' RE ABOUT TO HIT HIM. JESUS?' JUST GIVE IT UP. HEIS THE
FUCKING FLASH.
NOW IMAGINE THAT SOMEHOW THERE' S SOMEONE WHO CAN GET AROUND THE FLASH
BLOWING YOUR BALLS UP SECRET NINJA TECHNIQUE. :. HE CAN ALSO CONTROL THE
FLOW OF ENERGY BETWEEN OBJECTS. THIS POWER MAKES NO SENSE BUT BASICALLY
HE CAN THROW A ROCK AT YOU, AND YOU THINK IT' S GOING ELEM AND THEN HE' S
LIKE WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS AND SAM IT' S GOING AT
LIGHTSPEED. So HE CAN THROW SEVEN MILLION ROCKS AT YOU IN A SECOND THEN
MAKE THEM ALL GOES DIFFERENT SPEEDS THUS STRIKING YOUR NADS WITH SEVEN
MILLION ROCKS ONE AFTER THE OTHER.
BET murl THERE' S MORE! HE CAN ALIE TAKE ENEMY FROM THE VERY POWER OF
SPEED AND MAKE ALETHEA OUT OF IT. YEE. FLASH MAKES HIE PANTS OUT OF GOES
FAST. THE MAN IE SO FAST HE CAN MAKE FLASH PANTS THAT GOES FAST EC
RIGHT INTE. I DON' T EVEN START TO UNDERSTAND THE PHYSICS OF THAT BUT
BASICALLY SPEED REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL
LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You WOULD THINK THIS IE THE
END OF IT BUT OK LET' S SAY FLASH IS FIGHTING SUPERMAN AND SHIT HE' S GOING
TO LOSE AND FUCK HEN IE SUPERMAN THIS FUCKING STRONG? I DON' T KNOW HE
MEET BE SUPERMAN FUSED WITH BATMAN INTO SOME SORT OF GUY WITH TONS or
PLANS ON HON TO PUNCH YOU FAR HARDER THAN ANYONE ELSE CK TO END IT OFF THE
FLASH CAN GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.
HEM DO YOU BEAT THIS DUDE? YOU' RE THINKING YOU' RE HACHUNE HIM GOOD,
LAYING DOWN THE BEATDOWN, MINEING YOUR EARLE AND BAM YOUR
MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO AND THERE' S A
DENT IN YOUR FOREHEAD AND SUPERMAN NOT THEME SC BUD NO MORE. ACTUALLY SHE
DIDN' T FALL DOWN THE STAIRS THE FLASH PUT SPEED INTO THEM SO THEY FELL UP
HER.’ FUCK YOU FLASH.’ You MOVED THE STAIRS TO SOVIET FUCKING miseed
RUSHIA! BITER.
thi, AND LASTLY HIS GREATEST POWER IS HE ISN' T FAST IN BED. HE TAKES IT SLOW
AND GETS ALL THE LADIES WITH HIS SUPERPOWERS THEN ACTUALLY SATISFIES THEM
IN THE SACK. WEE THE HELL " THIS Em? YOU' D THINK HE COULD AT LEAST BE
A PREMATURE SINCE HIE PENIS IE MOVING AT BUT
HE' S EVEN GOOD IN BED.
AND THAT, LADIES AND (, IS WHY SUCKS COCK AND SHOULD GO
DIE IN A FREAK .
BAMAN' S 55: 33?‘ - THE AWFUL PEPE. -gray gr MATTHEW Al /
...

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#1 - fourthusername (01/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
tl;dr
#5 - graphenz (01/14/2013) [-]
that was worth the read :)
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