asshole

That's pretty fucking inappropriate. I think you owe everyone here an apology, ya cunt.

Hi sao,

I'm sorry for having a thing for you for a solid three years. Sorry for not having the gumption to tell you, but I really don't think you'd appreciate it. I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for everything you are and do. I find you ridiculously attractive and you remind me of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. I will probably continue to compare every man on earth to you as you have the set the bar pretty damn high.
I really want to continue to get to know you as a friend and admitting my most likely creepy infatuation would defeat that mission.
I'm sorry. I know this is the web, but if feels good to say it. And I should also apologize to Lauren because she's put up with my slight insanity about you.
On the bright side, I'll be going to college next year only a half hour away from you so we can still see each other. Your music is beautiful, and we should seriously do some trail blazing together.

I don't know if you find me attractive at all, but your still not involved with any particular woman, so if you are, make a move. As much as I try to keep my happiness in my own control, I would be ecstatic in the most stereotypical depiction of such events.

I'm sorry if I've ever stared at you too long or if my speech and conversation is nonsensical when you're around sometimes. You're ridiculously attractive, and I'm in love with your shenanigans.

I'm sorry we're so young, and I'm sorry I can't tell you, but I know you like your independence as much as I do. Your interests and tastes are beautiful. I would travel the world with you, and find you more amazing then any grand site or landform.

Sorry for my sketching obsession. You will continue to divert me from the rest of the male population on this planet I'm afraid. Sorry for not having the guts to tell you, but you're incredible and I don't want to stop knowing you.

To shortbusterrorist,
Last summer I was at the beach and felt the urge to go to the bathroom (yup......number two). I waded out to the water, went past some kids playing football, and when the water was up to my neck, I pulled my pants down and proceeded to take a rather hasty $@!#. I honestly have to say this was one of the best things ever. It was so free.. Like sleeping in pajamas your whole life, and then sleeping nude one day. I was a changed man. It was pretty disgusting I guess, so I apologize to all of humanity!

what the fuck did I just read.