Skyrim Children

>send 3 chickens to Alduin
>World is saved

Adopt all children
Give all Daedric armor and mini horses
teach all unrelenting force
shout at a giant
the force of 20 some kids FUS RO DAH ing wil cause the giant to skyrocket from Riften to Windhelm
Giant problem solved

You wanna run that by me again?

**felixjarl rolls 40**

I have failed skyrim and its people.

"Stop, you have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you in your defense?"

Stop right there criminal scum!

could you please stop shouting...

Somewhat related as well

dear god...

which episode was this?

I think it's Dipper v. Manliness. Have another gif

Fuck you. I wasn't about to let you Stormcloak scum throw away that Tiber Septim worked so hard to build. Dirty Stormcloak scum. Glorious Imperial master race

Kill all the Imperials.

Whoa whoa hold the fuck on... Tiber Septim built an Empire to rival any before it. And then what do the Imperials do with it? They fucking forsake their belief in Talos. And why? Because some High Elf fuckwads decided they would invade? We put the life of one man above the beliefs and practices of an entire empire. Martin was emperor for less than a year, and even he knew his life was not to be put above the empire.
So we surrender to these fuckwads, despite having pushed them back. Despite the fact that Hammerfell is able to hold their own, and even a fractured Skyrim can keep the fight going, Cyrodil decides that it's worth giving up.
Tiber Septim would be ashamed to watch us surrender or beliefs to some Altmer scum. Skyrim is the birthplace of the empire. Talos is the man ascended to godhood for creating the empire. The Empire discarded Tiber Septim the moment they banned the open worship of Talos. The Empire threw away everything he worked to build by thinking that surrender was the course to take. While there were still men and women willing to fight and die to push back the threat of the Aldmeri Dominion, the empire surrendered to an enemy, and then gave way to their occupation. And you're dumber than a mudcrab if you think for a moment that those High Elf bastards haven't occupied.
I spit on your "Empire", populated by cowards who would join forces with the Dominion to put down the very warriors whose ancestors were the true mothers and fathers to the Empire.
My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial... Can you say the same?

Talos guide you, brother.

I had some fun at the Thalmor Outpost and I left a message to the Aedra.

What do you think?

Those high elves bastards deserve worse, but I admire your dedication, and your contribution. Keep up the good work, brother.

May they all die in shame.

Talos would rather see a living empire that forsake's one religious figure instead of a burning empire. The elf scum would have broken through eventually and when they did the empire would be left to ruin, Skyrim and Cyrodil alike. The stormcloaks are selfish power lusting fiends! Skyrim and Cyrodil are one in the same. They NEED each other to survive. If you cut them apart they both die.

Talos, who united the empire under the Divines? Who came from Skyrim with its history with elves?
And we won the defensive. The Dominion was pushed back. And were weakened enough to even consider a treaty to begin with? How can you say they would have pushed through, when they were already pushed back? How can you say that fight was hopeless when Hammerfell continued to resist even after the White-Gold tower surrendered?
No, Talos would not have surrendered. He'd have fought to the last warrior. He'd have pushed the elf scum back to their island and then further. He'd have called upon the great warriors of all him Empire to strike down the heretical elves. He'd have led an army of roaring Nords to the edges of Tamriel and beyond to eradicate those that would defy the rule of his Empire. His Empire, which repelled the forces MEHRUNES DAGON HIMSELF! Who fought back swarms of Daedra! His Empire, home to warriors who fight to the bloody death in the Arena, who charged straight for the Daedric armies' front lines, and his people who fight dragons now with nothing more than the small iron weapons they can pick up!
Tiber Septim ascended to Godhood through his endeavors. Would he really be willing to throw it all away because the High Elves throw a hissy fit?

well technically during the events skyrim we are still under the third empire, the one talos created

The events that took place occurred under the weakness of a ruler and people who didn't deserve to inherit his great Empire.

Apparently you never read any books on the Great War, how Titus Mede II valiantly took back the great city and how he was a great strategist

And then surrendered! He won! And then surrendered! Rather than push all the way back to their damned island and raze their capital -- no, their entire country to the ground and salt the earth so that they could never hope to grow back to show such heresy to the Divines.

The Empire had lost thousands of lives. It would be like the USA trying to invade Japan in WW2

No, because we didn't almost lose our capital in WWII.
Not only that, but Skyrim is made of warriors. Every Nord is born a warrior, and is willing to fight and die in battle. Even the Orcs in our lands who worship a Daedric lord would rather die destroying an enemy, rather than passing away in some pseudo-peace with said enemy.

How dare you! The empire will pull back, the empire is our only hope, without the empire we are nothing. The third empire, the same empire that you can just throw away, was created by Talos. To betray the Empire is to betray Talos. Titus Mede II had no choice but to accept the White-Gold Concordant. This is what the Dominion wanted all along, for brothers and sisters to be fighting. What we need to do is unite Tamriel. Black Marsh, High Rock, Hammerfell, Cyrodill, and Morrowind to fight against the Dominion.

Without us, the Empire is nothing! Skyrim IS the empire! I don't care where some "Imperial city" may rest, because the heart of the Empire, the heart of Talos lies in the bosom of his homeland! The Empire was made BY Skyrim!

Well I can't argue with the last sentence

By betraying the Empire we're betraying Talos? The Empire outlawed worship of Talos! I don't think he minds. But that's just me.

*I wasn't about to let you Stormcloak scum throw away an empire that Tiber Septim worked so hard to build.

But the Empire turned its back on their founder, all because the Emperor surrendered at the tip of an Aldmeri sword.

stupid talos worshiping nord, Glorious Auri-El god

FOOL! SITHIS IS THE ONLY TRUE LORD!

Hail Sithis

Hail Sithis, Hail the Listener! All praise the Unholy Matron!

I don't follow any gods, but I believe in one's freedom to worship to there hearts desire, I believe this strongly. All Thalmor die on sight, even if their beliefs dictate there actions I will not stand idle as they as they strike down the brave souls who defy them. The Empire means nothing to me, I take no factions laws to heart, I simply remove the one treading on another's rights, if he will not be reasoned with. Do not think I smite blindly, I honor the dead or the soon be, lest they give away their humanity for power. For you, the people of Tamriel, I will fight to my last day, on my final breath I will defend those who cannot, through blood and war, negotiation and reason we can keep order by ourselves.

I am the knight, I am the hero Skyrim deserves!

I am the goddamn, mother fucking, ass kicking, troll biting, wolf punching, dragon slaying, Dovahkiin.

that's nice honey

hearthfire

All this arguing about Skyrim's politics. This bickering wont get any of you into the Cloud District!

oh manslayer

your A DICK! :( Feels for the imperial kid...

Milk-drinker.

I've never understood how that's an insult

In the game and olden times, it was implied that only babies & weaklings drunk milk. Here, because they're actually Khajit kittens/children, it's literal and thus not offensive.

Unrelated, but have some Scottish wisdom:
"Alcohol never solves anything, but neither does milk."

Pictured is a satisfied buyer of 'Blood of the Dragon' Cologne for men. Again, unrelated.

because babies drink their mother's milk. They are essentially calling you an infant.

because you're in skyrim. argonians and khajit wouldn't have kids outside of their land. especially so close to morrowind where they can be enslaved. also, khajit childhood is more complex than just the species of khajit that we see. so it'd be more like picking from a range of different khajit children species.

uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Khajiit#Morphology

You'd think the Dragonborn would be able to protect their kids pretty well. Anyone tries to kidnap them, and they'll get a FUCKING DRAGON called down on their heads.

right. but npc khajiit wouldnt...

Because Skyrim belongs to the Nords.

I do too, bro. I do too.

There's probably a mod for that...

You glorious fucker.

One for each of them.

pics or it didnt happen

yeah, hes gonna search 4chan for at least the rest of his life for something he saw ONCE UPON A FUCKING TIME

I think this is the longest thread I've been in.

well i'm glad to have been a part of it. now i'm gonna have to bow out

Well, maybe we'll meet again in another thread. Bye

why have i been doing this for over an hour?

Because you have nothing better to do with your life?

true...... but i'm about to reach the end of my rope on spiderman pics

Too bad, I've still got a fair amount left

i shan't stop until i've nothing left!!!!!

Alrighty

well.... that lasted much longer than my usual spiderman threads.......................

c-c-c-c-c-c-c--combo breakerrr !!

>now i rule at your god now
wat?

I'm sad that through this entire thread I didn't see this one. Here you are.

Did someone say deadpool?

Why don't you have a seat

FOUND IT
http://1-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/vg/image/1345/02/1345027129367.jpg

Rape inbound.

....no idea what's going on.

>ulfric thundercunt
>high as fuck
>startin rebellions and shit

Like hell the Nords could stand against the Elves straight after a rebellion, anyway

The empire is crumbling, did you think about that?

The old ways will likely die out anyway from a geopolitical standpoint.

As for the Imperials if you read the doctrines of the Thalmor Ulfric winning is bad for them, and the imperials maintaining the status quo is good for them. In fact, the war weakened everyone and with the war over new factions will take power.

Was it High Rock? According to Elder Scrolls lore once Skyrim is free it is likely other countries will take uprisings. The world is moving forward and another war is likely at hand, human beings and elves will have to settle their differences eventually.

Screw the empire which sucks Thalmor dick, we need to form a new one.

Both sides of this argument actually have their positives and negatives on both ends.