Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to
answer a question. "Johnny, if there were tive birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with
your gun, how many would be left '?"
None.", replied Johnny. '"cause the rest would fly away."
Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "l have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice
cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one
sucking her cone, which one is married?"
Well," said the teacher nervously, "l guess the one sucking the cone'?"
No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you
Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal."
The second one says, "That' s nothing. My Daddy can eat six."
Little Jonny starts laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs."
The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His
daddy can eat light bulbs.
Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, 'Honey,
turn out that light I want to eat that thing."'
Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question, and if you get it
right you don' t have to go to school on Monday.
The fist friday the question was how many gallons of water are there in the whole world. No
one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.
Next Friday the question was how many grains of sand are there in the whole world. No one
knew so they had to sgo to school on Monday.
By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn' t want to go to school on Monday,
so he paints two balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the
question he rolled the two black balls up to her and she said, "Who is the comedian
with two black balls?"
Little Johnny said," Bill Cosby. See you on Tuesday."
Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button up
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and she was
thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast , , ...
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who
could use the word beautiful‘ in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful
dress and she looked beautiful in it."
Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny.
Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,
Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"