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One liners - 3
Uploaded by: heliosnova
Top 10 or'
Part 3
10. (Going to church doesn' t make
you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a
car.
9. The last thing I want to do is
hurt you. But it' s still on the list.
8. If I agreed with you we' d both
be wrong.
7. War does not determine who
is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a
tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
5. Having sex is like playing
bridge. If you don' t have a good
partner, you' d better have a
good hand.
4. Children: You spend the first
2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you
spend the next 16 years telling
them to sit down and shuttup.
3. We never really grow up, we
only learn how to act in public.
2. If God is watching us, the
least we can do is be
entertaining.
1. I asked God for a bike, but I
know God doesn' t work that
way. So I stole a bike and
asked for forgiveness.
Part 3
10. (Going to church doesn' t make
you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a
car.
9. The last thing I want to do is
hurt you. But it' s still on the list.
8. If I agreed with you we' d both
be wrong.
7. War does not determine who
is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a
tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
5. Having sex is like playing
bridge. If you don' t have a good
partner, you' d better have a
good hand.
4. Children: You spend the first
2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you
spend the next 16 years telling
them to sit down and shuttup.
3. We never really grow up, we
only learn how to act in public.
2. If God is watching us, the
least we can do is be
entertaining.
1. I asked God for a bike, but I
know God doesn' t work that
way. So I stole a bike and
asked for forgiveness.
...
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This should be titled "Things 13 year olds put as their facebook status"
"I've got a knife and penis, and one of them is going inside you."
#61
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achselschweiss (12/13/2012) [+]
(2 replies)
To meet girl in park is good. To park meat in girl is better.
#126
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scumbagposter (12/13/2012) [-]
**scumbagposter rolled a random image posted in comment #25 at The Office **
OP is a nigger?
sorry thats all i could think of after the last sentence.
sorry thats all i could think of after the last sentence.
#39
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cullenatorguy (12/13/2012) [-]
ALL HAIL EMO PHILIPS BEST COMEDIAN EVER
He said #1...
Two of my favorite lines by him:
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.
He said #1...
Two of my favorite lines by him:
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.
The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.
#26
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robotekk (12/13/2012) [-]
"Never fight with an idiot, he'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience"
If one refuses to go right then he must take what is left. (Just came up with that. Channeling Confucius right now.)