Christmas traditions!

A widower and his 2 daughters lived in a slum, and they hung their stockings by the fire to dry them. They were super duper poor, and the man came to the conclusion he would have to sell one of his daughters in order to keep the other alive (cos they had no monaiz) but St.Nicolas (local land owner) broke in and put money in the girls stocking :O that's where the whole Idea of santa and stockings comes from :3
TL:DR: Father Christmas was a wierd guy.

st nick is the patron saint of thieves, virgins and communist russia

Good idea lord! And later, we will take eggs, paint them, and hide them for our kids to find!

went to Brian Regan's show in dc. t was hilarious. There was this part where he said.
"Sorry parent but I have to say the 'word'.... can you pass the katsup?" It was pretty funny.

I enjoy Kevin Hart. he swears a tad though

Here, have this.

I know man, Jesus tells the best stories about his dad and I hear he's a fucking awesome magician

Huh...that just might be the smartest thing I've heard all day.

you do know that pagans were religious right?

Right instead of opening a bunch of useless presents on December 25th we'll do what ever we want with no negative consequent between December 17th and 25th b/c that's the week when the Law officials take the week off. This includes murder, rape, thievery, and anything else you can think of.
(They believed that this release the wickedness that you held all year long)

Well doesn't it sound right? Tell me more about stress-free parenting or maybe when a burglar have more rights than you.

To me no, but alas i am only but a simple person. What the hell is stress free parenting, I'm only an uncle and i still want to pull my hair out when ever my nieces/nephews are here and the only right a burglar has in my family's house is a shotgun blast to the chest courtesy of my grandfather.

SEE THATS NOT TRUE~ ITS JUST A "GUISE" GUYS~ ALL QUIET ON THE BEE/OP FRONT DNA~~ HAHHHA-- BUT U WERE, HOWEVER HERE SATURDAY.. ABOUT TIMING~~ CUFFS ARE GREAT GIFTS & THEY CALL HIM UNCLE ?? U HAVE BABBIES "MOTHER OF THE YEAR" UNDER THE NAME?? LETS SAY THE RIGHT PPL HAVE THE INFO & WHEN U TAKE TIME OFF WORK ITS NOTICED SO BEE HAS YOUR BOSS EVER MENTIONED ANYTHING CAUSE DR SMILTH FROM LOST IN SPACE IS A GREAT LIAR!! AS IS DNA CAUSE THEY KNOW U ARE SO BEEHIND IN READING POST..U HAVE BEEN SET UP SINCE U MENTIONED ON FJ MY IPAD & THEY SAID HOW MUCH U HATED ME FOR GIFTS..ALL THERE & U SAID IT FOR MANY TO "HEAR" SON OTHERS" WHY?? TELL HER THE TRUTH U NEVER WANTED THAT FAMILY!! GO AHEAD..THE $$ YUP 2015..ANOTHER THING NOT GOING AWAY.. THE QUEEN

Twittywitty, I need you to do something for me.
First, turn off the damn caps lock.
Second, I need you to find a Scrabble game; full-size, travel edition, any will do, really.
Third, Eat all the tiles. Yes, all of them; wash them down with the most powerful laxative you can find.
Fourth, when you sh*t them out, remember the order of the letters and tell me what it says, because I am absolutely SURE it will make much more sense than whatever the f*ck it is you just tried to say.
Fifth, have a nice day.

I learned enough about Paganism from my wiccan ex to make my head spin. No thank you.

Puncha yo buns!

Finn?

why is that of any interest?

I think its Beyond the Pale because i know i havent seen King Baby yet, but i've seen Mr. Universe and Beyond the Pale

jim gaffigan

Jim Giffigan