/b/lack people

My Grandpa is the most racist person on the face of the planet:
> Be 12 years old, 2006
> Going to Red Lobster to celebrate Grandpa's 85th birthday
> We get seated at our table
> Group of black people walks in and sits on the opposite side of our section
> Grandpa says to me "Hey Rick, look over there..." Pointing to the table with the black family
> "Yea?" I asked
> "Look at the niggers!" He literally burst out laughing
> mfw

My roommate in college was black

I loved him, he was awesome, but like... he always pulled the "You're just saying that because you're racist" card. It got really annoying

I tried not to be racist with him. He was like a brother to me, even though we're completely different.

In the end, he was the only real friend I guess I had. The only person who cared for me. Oh well, I'm getting all sappy and that's gay so whatever.

Point is, I enjoy racist jokes on the internet and whatnot, but in real life, I see no difference between a black person and a white person

Playing Borderlands 2 with a friend
He likes to just run around picking up everything that drops without looking at it (looking at the loot when he goes to sell it later)
He quite often runs by and picks up shit I'm looking at / want
One time a legendary (orange) drops and just as I press E to pick it up he runs by
I get annoyed because this happens so often
Me: "Stop running around and stealing everything like a nigger"
Him: "....."
Me: "....."
Him: "Did you just say that?"

MFW he's black

>be me, roughly 4 years old.
>white blonde hair, blues eyes, paleasfuck skin.
>in the store with my mom.
>see reaaaally dark skinned black man.
>really big guy.
>i go right up to him and say "wow, you're REALLY black!"
>mom is horrified.
>he bends down on one knee
>"and you're really white!"
yay for being a kid.

>Be me
>Be in 8th grade
>Doing some boring shit work in computer lab so I have my head down
>Teacher decides to show us a picture of a teacher/the mayor's adopted daughter
>Sudden urge to look up so I do
>Sees Chinese baby on the huge screen
>Blurt out "CHUNG POW"
>Whole class dies of laughter
>In huge fucking trouble
>MFW

>Shitty eyesight
>Somehow, pulling at the corner of my eyes helps a little

>At the food court with my family
>Sitting at a table, trying to see the overhead menu at a nearby restaurant
>Pulling at eyes, trying really hard to see
>It takes me a full five minutes before I realize I'm pulling my eyes and squinting at Manchu Wok, of which all the employees are asian

>I'm so fucking sorry

>Live in Florida.
>Cubans as far as the eye can see.
>In middle school waiting in line for lunch.
>Some Cubans fresh off the boat cut in front of my friends and I.
>Tell them to get to the back of the line.
>They start speaking Spanish so fast I can't even understand it, and I'm Hispanic as well.
>Make a joke saying "get to the back of the line or else we'll tell the police your family is here illegally".
>They do. I wasn't serious.
>As they walk away, my friends and I sing "row, row, row your boat. Stupid refugees. If you row fast enough, you'll make it to the Keys.

Mfw I didn't even feel sorry.

MFW I'm called a cracker.

>No ride home from school
>Mom says she had to call an expensive cab service to pick me up
>See Indian with a black suit and cap standing by a Lincoln
>Start getting into the car
>"Wtf are you doing"
>Realize there is no correct answer to that question
>Poker face the fuck out of there

>be 5 or 6
>mom playing random game on computer( i think it was poker or something)
>people could pick their own little avatar
>see a monkey on the screen "mom! look a monkey!"
>"where?"
>thinking i was gonna trick her i point at the only black person in the game
>dads fw

>be in smoking area around a bunch of black people
>discussing with friend who im gonna ask for a ride to an appointment
>"I don't wanna ask Max because i don't wanna listen to his nigger beats for an hour"
>loading...
>realization
>shit pants cuz of nearby black people
>they didn't hear me because they're loud obnoxious niggers
>walk away with pants full of shit
>MFW

> 2 years ago
> black friend runs to try and catch the bus
> as a joke shout: he stole my wallet
> police arrests and search him
> they couldn't find a wallet
> they came to me and gave me a ticket

>at an italian restaurant with my 3 Jewish friends
>Waitress comes to our table to take our order
>No one can decide so I attempt to compromise
>"Well there's 4 of us just put 2 in the oven"

mfw

>2 black kids in class, one named broderick, the other named Davonne
>Tap on Davonne's shoulder and say "Broderick"
>he ignores me
>say broderick like 5 more times
>Broderick turns to me from three seats down
>"I'm broderick. He's Davonne"
>"Sorry, you look the same to me."
>HFW

Pic related, it's him.

>last year, I was hanging out at a mall with a black friend
>out of nowhere, a little black boy comes up to me
>says to me "are you really white?"
>"excuse me?"
>"are you really white? You're hanging out with a black person and you don't look white."
>look both ways suspiciously and reply "no, I'm actually a black person in disguise. I'm in charge of making sure the white people don't realize we control them. Don't tell anyone though!"
>he nods and runs away happy as fuck
>MFW I probably just created a black supremacist.

>2010
>In Diner With Friends
>Waiter Comes Over
>Mexican Looking Fucker
>He Takes Everyone's Orders
>Gets To Me
>"I'll have a burger with fries"
>"Would you like a drink"
>"Coke please"
>Hand him menu
>30-40 minutes later
>Mexican comes back with food
>Gives all my friends their food first
>Gives me my food
>Thank him
>Waiter leaves
>Friends stare at me in shock
>"What"
>MFW I accidentally said "Gracias senor" in a shitty mexican accent

when i was 4 this black kid who did nothing wrong to me said hi to me, and i just beat him up like just destroyed him

>At laser tag place with friends
>Sitting at racing game not playing because fuck the police
>See black kid
>Whisper to my friend "Look, a niglet".
>He comes up and it sound like he says "Ya'll racist?"
>Get nervous thinking he heard me and cover myself by saying "Are you asking because I'm white?"
>Turns out he said "Ya'll racing?" because we were sitting at the game.