BUY NOW: Alien skincare product
Shape Shifting Lizard Skin Cream (With Vitamin E)
Shapeshifting from lizard to human form is great for
controlling Earth so you can mine gold to save your
dying homeworld, but it' s not so great for your skin.
When you’ re juggling appointments and global
depopulation deadlines, you dorfs have time for an
exhaustive skincare regime, especially after been
up all night sodomising infants on a altar.
That' s why there' s new Hypoallergenic Shapeshifting
Lizard Skin Cream, for the reptilian
overlord who wants to crush the human race AND look
great. Revitalise dry cracked scales with the petrifying
formula, penetrating your watertight, abrasive
epidermis with .
99 gap as available
Approximately 59. 35 LIED
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Mystic Mark' s Esoteric Gifts
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Never again spend hours removing crusty nodules from
your armoured eyelids or sandblasting your segmented
underbelly. Instead, spend your on the things
that really matter to you: eating babies, manipulating
financial markets and basking on rocks in the warm
glow of Earth' s home star.
Whichever form you’ taken, simply lather the cream
onto tough lizard scales or weak and thin human tissue.
The vitamin E rich formula gets to work fast, leaving
your external membrane hard, reinforced and radiant.
Start each day with that "" feeling!