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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
#82 - zaggystirdust
Reply +21 123456789123345869
(11/27/2012) [-]
you ever get that feel that your parents know you fap yet you still try to act as though you can sneak away with it?
User avatar #91 to #82 - Himynameisjacob
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(11/27/2012) [-]
My parents both know. Especially my dad. Now I'd like to share the stories of how they found out.

Father: My first time masturbating had an unusual after-effect.
More specifically, my penis swelled up to double it's usual size.
I was young and religious, so I cried, thinking this was god's punishment for stroking my johnson.
I came to my father about it.
He is a pastor.
"Dude, use lotion. What did you expect to happen?"

Mother: So I was visiting some old friends, when one came along and through a bag at me.
Inside was a never-before-opened Pocket-Pussy. It was mostly a gag, but god dammit it sounded fun.
So I took it home with me.
I used it a few times, frequently the first week, then less so until I eventually stopped using it altogether.
..however, I left it on my bedside table, covered in tissues.
My mother decided to clean my room while I was at school.
She was wobbling it around, and asked my dad what it was.
Now she knows.
#121 to #91 - handyofdoom
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/27/2012) [-]
ahh, i remember the first time i ever used lotion. i was just a young lad, maybe 13. i was about to shower and i was really horny, and someone told me lotion is good, so i got some and got in the shower with my back to the shower-head. best 15 minutes of my life.

pic related?
#102 to #91 - tormenttheweak
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(11/27/2012) [-]
"Dude, use lotion. What did you expect to happen?"

your dad sounds like a pretty cool pastor
User avatar #92 to #91 - Himynameisjacob
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/27/2012) [-]
Grammar: 1
Me: 0