what the fuck did i just read

sometimes when about to fart i hold it in and let it build
up until i oan' t hold it in and then i fart into a big jar of jam
than quikly close tho lid and save it for moments h
when upset or pissed so then later on i can open it and
smell and it relaxes anyways 5 days after i faded in a jar my
boyfriend was at my house for the first time and saw the
empty jar and he opened it and sniffed it and he fainted J
when he woke up he asked me what was in the jar and i
didnt know what to say so i told him the truth and he hasnt
spoken to me in a week soared he wants to break up with
me what should i do?!
Anonymous
The fuck did (Cali)