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#208 - roadjam (11/18/2012) [-]
The big difference is, if you take someone like Caesar; we have letters that he wrote. Eye witnesses telling of his exploits etc. There is nothing like that for Jesus.

Conversely there are photographs of Norris, whole articles written about him both serious biographies and jokish debunkings of his Meme status, birth records etc.
#228 to #208 - tyraxio (11/18/2012) [-]
Well, we do have (although very little) info on Jesus. There was indeed a man by the name of Jesus around the beginning of our year-system, who drew attention on himself due to mysticism/religion, and that he might have been crucified.

HOWEVER, what is interesting to note is that just in the Bible, several people are denying that Jesus should be extraordinarily afflicted with God.

In the future, people could (theoretically) see these "debunkings" a naysayers creating conspiracies against the man-wonder Chuck Fak'n Norris, son of God and ****** of his own father. Defeater of the red dragon, and although being all-powerful could not see the defeat of tyran Mitchel Goliath Romney by Barrack David Obama in the Gladiatoral match for the rule of Glorious merchantile United States of Newly Annexed America.

Few years later, however, Obama used his black magic to summon demons strong enough to bring Norris to his knees after crimes against the Senate, and he was beheaded for these crimes, proving the fables of immortality wrong...

...they thought.

In reality, this was merely a conspiracy thought out by Norris himself, and President Obama merely brought the soul of Norris into a more powerful physical form, and together they ruled until the end of Obamas days, after which the new President imprisoned Norris in an enchanted cage and to this day, Norris is contemplating his escape.

As for the election, Norris chose to side with Romney for none to suspect his underground occultist work with Obama.
User avatar #234 to #228 - IamSofaKingdom (11/18/2012) [-]
According to Romans the Jesus of the bible was tried and crucified. National Geographic also has the details of the deaths of each disciple. The most gruesome in my opinion was Bartholomew who was flayed alive (skinned) and then crucified.
#239 to #234 - tyraxio (11/18/2012) [-]
For once I avoided discussing religion, and crafted a quite believable story on our Messiah Norris Chuck - but alas, that was ignored.

Naah, just kidding.

Anyway, yeah, it seems everyone except from Jesus has been ignored by the religion, including those who suffered far worse deaths than Jesus. Including those in the modern day who might've even suffered more painful deaths than Bartholomew as innocent as Jesus.
User avatar #245 to #239 - IamSofaKingdom (11/18/2012) [-]
Yea, the violence towards the religious is often worse than the violence that comes from it (the violence also comes from "followers" of peaceful faiths which is almost entirely hypocritical). As for suffering worse, crucifying is almost as bad as it can get.

I took a Greek class and we study crucifixion. The Romans were masters of torture. Everyone knows you are nailed to a cross but most don't know the details. They put one stake through both feet and a stake through the wrist of each arm (the Greek word most translate to hand actually means the forearm from the elbow to fingers, like spanish). They could not stake the hands themselves because the flesh would tear too often while the bones in the arm help to hold you up. They also put a tiny piece of wood under your feet for the victim to press up a bit.

When the victim sinks down from pain the arms are pulled up and it pulls on the chest cavity and impairs breathing severely. In order to regain your breathing you had to put pressure on the stake in your feet to raise yourself up to breath. The way they were pinned up made sure that they would not bleed out too fast so that they could suffer several days in some cases. It is a pretty miserable way to go.
#248 to #245 - tyraxio (11/18/2012) [-]
I actually knew that! Mean ass bitches, dem Romans.
User avatar #250 to #248 - IamSofaKingdom (11/18/2012) [-]
Knowing is half the battle, knowledge is power! G.I. Joooooooeeeeee.
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