there snow socks that big, doofus

... Magic School Bus.

Now, either you're from a country other than America, where these books are quite common in elementary schools, or your childhood was woefully lacking.

There is also the educational cartoon, which many believe to be one of the best educational shows you could possibly show to a child.

Only Magic School Bus episode I remember, as a Brit, is Arnold Turns Orange. Made me paranoid for weeks about eating Wotsits and carrots. (Unsure if Wotsits are in America, but they're essentially Cheetos.)

Actually, if you have a heavy diet of carrots and tomato juice, your skin can take on an orange hue similar to that, thought that's over a long period of time and a massive intake.

Good lord. Well, childhood problem solved.

Yup. Look on the bright side: if you ever have kids, you know EXACTLY what to suggest for their science fair project.

Considerable lack of science fairs in England. I used to watch them being held on the Simpsons not understand what was going on. Feelsbadman.jpg. Still. I could prank my kids.

Here's what you do:

Step 1: Have kids, preferably a boy and a girl
Step 2: Feed one of them a heavy diet of carrot juice and tomato juice as children.
Step 3: Buy them X-Men comics.
Step 4: Convince him/her that they're a mutant, but the other is the one who'll get the cool powers, they're just orange.
Step 5: Profit!

Done. Godspeed, my friend.