Clients From Hell 13. Stories aren't mine. I would kill myself. Check my profile for the others! . Clients From him Not Ott Me: “We can' t print this; this imag tags

Clients From Hell 13

Stories aren't mine. I would kill myself. Check my profile for the others!
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Clients From him
Not Ott
Me: “We can' t print this; this image is really low
resolution, even for a " dpi thing off the web. It' s
literally 300 pixels and we are printing it on a 6x9 inch
Boss: “It' s Fme, Just go with it.”
Me: "But we are a commercial our own ads
look like crap, why should anyone hire us?”
Boss: “We Just have opposing philosophies.”
I received a call from a prospective client yesterday. I
knew it was going to be a long conversation when the
First word out of her mouth were, “I' m not going to lie,
Pm Bipolar, But Pm taking medication so I should be
able to get through this phone can."
CLIENT: “Can you make the headline ?”
CLIENT: "Yes. Bold is too bold and unbolt isn' t bold
enough. I think it needs to Be .''
ME: a... I can bold every other letter."
CLIENT: “I don' t need to know the technical details, as
ME: “Is it landscape or portrait?"
CLIENT: “It' s a bit of Both, actually.”
ME: “Really, how so?”
CLIENT: "Wen, there' s a woman in the foreground. But
there is a mountain behind her."
CLIENT: "Sorry to cancel at the last minute, But we felt
your contract was Just... too legal.”
ME: “Well, I should hope so... what exactly was the
CLIENT: “I mean it' s not very - you ask for
payment on such and such a date with this 5%
monthly penalty if we don' t make it... it' s all Just too
ME: Here' s a link to the development version of the new
site. Pm going to develop a separate version for mobile
Browsing, so if you look at it on a phone, you' ll get an
error message for now.
CLIENT: It doesn' t work.
Sent from my iphone.
We would like to get for unplanned outages
days In advance."
A client who doesn' t understand the of
Do you have to reprint the calendar Couldn' t we Just tell
people February has two extra days in it? You know, like
a double leap year."
CLIENT Bring this to our accountant on the 34th natter and
they will give you your money.
ME: Got it.
CLIENT: Do you know where the 34th natter is?
I point up.
CLIENT: That' s right. Do you you know how to get there?
ME: The elevator!
CLIENT: I was thinking the stairs, But -
He looks at the other person working at reception, who
CLIENT: Yes, that will also work.
ME: Okay, I have rendered all the images you requested an
saved them into one .psd, and also included a folder with —
raw .tiffs should you want to make any changes yourself.
A few minutes later...
CLIENT: Hey, yeah um, all of these mes are .tiffs and I
requested photoshop documents... Could you do that for m - .
ME: They already are in a PSD, named ''. pstt''.
CLIENT: Yes, But I checked the folder called "raw" and
they' re all tiffs, I cant use these Because I don' t know what
they are. Just please provide me with photoshop document .
ME: Have you checked the ''. pstt'".
CLIENT: Yes, But Ijust need photoshop documents for all
those tiffs instead.
I save each PSD individually to correspond with each TIFF
and email her again, letting her know that they are there.
CLIENT: Oh, PSD stands for photoshop document! Wow, I
never knew that'. Hah you Idam something new everyday,
eh? Now, If you could Just compile all of these images into
one photoshop document, we should be good to go'.
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Views: 21732
Favorited: 14
Submitted: 11/08/2012
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - pointlessviolence (11/08/2012) [-]
I like reading these but my blood pressure has other plans...
I like reading these but my blood pressure has other plans...
#3 - vaskaduzea (11/09/2012) [-]
the last one, the last one .. i wanted to ******* break my screen
User avatar #4 - PubLandlord (11/09/2012) [-]
To be fair the Semi bold thing sounds pretty genuine
#9 - abdullahmag (11/09/2012) [-]
that last one....
User avatar #10 - itrooztrooperdown (11/09/2012) [+] (5 replies)
Let me guess. You are a young and qualified person that knows a lot aobut this computer stuff. Your clients are middle aged or old man that didn't know what a computer is for half of their lives. Please give them a break... Not everybody is a genius.

Most of the people that hire a company like the one you work in just want RESULT. They don't give a **** about a facts. I wouldn't give a **** . I hire a company to make me... say a website, I don't give a single **** about the fact that you are doing a developement site to show me how is it going and that I can't see it with my iPhone. I just know three words. Site, good and bad. Site good is when it works, everywhere. Site bad is when it doesn't work. So I want site good and I know no further.

Maybe for you they are dumb... but for them you would be the one that is a young genius.
User avatar #11 to #10 - goodguygary ONLINE (11/09/2012) [-]
you do know this is a composition of many stories from the website in the description?
#2 - captainwow (11/09/2012) [-]
But semi-bold IS a type of font.

But semi-bold IS a type of font.
#5 - bfc (11/09/2012) [-]
You can get a font thickness between regular and bold called medium.
You can get a font thickness between regular and bold called medium.
#23 - kanudaman (11/14/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Am I the only one getting "403 Forbidden" when going to You need to login to view this link ?
User avatar #24 to #23 - drfreeman (11/14/2012) [-]
make that .net. sorry my friend
thanks for pointing that out, I assumed it You need to login to view this link
User avatar #15 - penguindumb (11/09/2012) [-]
Ahahhahaha that last one cracked me up! fancy!
#20 - dreamtheory (11/09/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Well... this sucks.

I love reading these.
User avatar #17 - KillerKlownKKK (11/09/2012) [-]
Dude, I run the sales department for Envision Printing, And I swear those are my clients OMG People are ******* STUPID!!!!!!

This Girl is ordering business cards for her Mobile Dog Grooming Service. She emails me saying to make the cards "Laminated" So I call her back to tell her about the adjustment in cost (alot more). She flips out and says "How the hell in laminating the cards that much more" so I tell her "Mam you want 5,000 cards laminated how much did you think that was gonna cost?" So she pauses and says "Well how come I see so many people with shiny business cards? They spend that much for Shiny cards?" So I say "No shiny is no charge shiny is in your order were it says "High Gloss" Cards" So she says "OH well that's what i want, You don't have to make me feel stupid" I just exhale and say "Stupid is as stupid does mam"
#8 - skords ONLINE (11/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
As a Graphics Designer myself, I should let everyone know that semi-bold is valid. It is font-weight: 600; (usually).
#6 - anonymous (11/09/2012) [-]
That last one. So much derp.
#12 - TheMarcus ONLINE (11/09/2012) [-]
I lost my **** at the 34th floor thing, please send me an IM if you find it.
Pic related its the crap i lost
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