Clients From Hell 13. Stories aren't mine. I would kill myself. Check my profile for the others! . Clients From him Not Ott Me: “We can' t print this; this imag tags
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Clients From Hell 13

Stories aren't mine. I would kill myself. Check my profile for the others!
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Clients From him
Not Ott
Me: “We can' t print this; this image is really low
resolution, even for a " dpi thing off the web. It' s
literally 300 pixels and we are printing it on a 6x9 inch
postcard.”
Boss: “It' s Fme, Just go with it.”
Me: "But we are a commercial our own ads
look like crap, why should anyone hire us?”
Boss: “We Just have opposing philosophies.”
I received a call from a prospective client yesterday. I
knew it was going to be a long conversation when the
First word out of her mouth were, “I' m not going to lie,
Pm Bipolar, But Pm taking medication so I should be
able to get through this phone can."
CLIENT: “Can you make the headline ?”
CLIENT: "Yes. Bold is too bold and unbolt isn' t bold
enough. I think it needs to Be .''
ME: a... I can bold every other letter."
CLIENT: “I don' t need to know the technical details, as
ME: “Is it landscape or portrait?"
CLIENT: “It' s a bit of Both, actually.”
ME: “Really, how so?”
CLIENT: "Wen, there' s a woman in the foreground. But
there is a mountain behind her."
CLIENT: "Sorry to cancel at the last minute, But we felt
your contract was Just... too legal.”
ME: “Well, I should hope so... what exactly was the
problem?”
CLIENT: “I mean it' s not very - you ask for
payment on such and such a date with this 5%
monthly penalty if we don' t make it... it' s all Just too
legal.”
ME: Here' s a link to the development version of the new
site. Pm going to develop a separate version for mobile
Browsing, so if you look at it on a phone, you' ll get an
error message for now.
CLIENT: It doesn' t work.
Sent from my iphone.
We would like to get for unplanned outages
days In advance."
A client who doesn' t understand the of
unplanned.”
Do you have to reprint the calendar Couldn' t we Just tell
people February has two extra days in it? You know, like
a double leap year."
CLIENT Bring this to our accountant on the 34th natter and
they will give you your money.
ME: Got it.
CLIENT: Do you know where the 34th natter is?
I point up.
CLIENT: That' s right. Do you you know how to get there?
ME: The elevator!
CLIENT: I was thinking the stairs, But -
He looks at the other person working at reception, who
nods.
CLIENT: Yes, that will also work.
ME: Okay, I have rendered all the images you requested an
saved them into one .psd, and also included a folder with —
raw .tiffs should you want to make any changes yourself.
A few minutes later...
CLIENT: Hey, yeah um, all of these mes are .tiffs and I
requested photoshop documents... Could you do that for m - .
ME: They already are in a PSD, named ''. pstt''.
CLIENT: Yes, But I checked the folder called "raw" and
they' re all tiffs, I cant use these Because I don' t know what
they are. Just please provide me with photoshop document .
ME: Have you checked the ''. pstt'".
CLIENT: Yes, But Ijust need photoshop documents for all
those tiffs instead.
I save each PSD individually to correspond with each TIFF
and email her again, letting her know that they are there.
CLIENT: Oh, PSD stands for photoshop document! Wow, I
never knew that'. Hah you Idam something new everyday,
eh? Now, If you could Just compile all of these images into
one photoshop document, we should be good to go'.
...
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - pointlessviolence (11/08/2012) [-]
I like reading these but my blood pressure has other plans...
I like reading these but my blood pressure has other plans...
#3 - vaskaduzea (11/09/2012) [-]
the last one, the last one .. i wanted to ******* break my screen
User avatar #4 - PubLandlord (11/09/2012) [-]
To be fair the Semi bold thing sounds pretty genuine
#9 - abdullahmag (11/09/2012) [-]
that last one....
User avatar #10 - itrooztrooperdown (11/09/2012) [+] (5 replies)
Let me guess. You are a young and qualified person that knows a lot aobut this computer stuff. Your clients are middle aged or old man that didn't know what a computer is for half of their lives. Please give them a break... Not everybody is a genius.

Most of the people that hire a company like the one you work in just want RESULT. They don't give a **** about a facts. I wouldn't give a **** . I hire a company to make me... say a website, I don't give a single **** about the fact that you are doing a developement site to show me how is it going and that I can't see it with my iPhone. I just know three words. Site, good and bad. Site good is when it works, everywhere. Site bad is when it doesn't work. So I want site good and I know no further.

Maybe for you they are dumb... but for them you would be the one that is a young genius.
User avatar #11 to #10 - goodguygary ONLINE (11/09/2012) [-]
you do know this is a composition of many stories from the website in the description?
#2 - captainwow (11/09/2012) [-]
#3    
   
But semi-bold IS a type of font.
#3

But semi-bold IS a type of font.
#5 - bfc (11/09/2012) [-]
You can get a font thickness between regular and bold called medium.
You can get a font thickness between regular and bold called medium.
#23 - kanudaman (11/14/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Am I the only one getting "403 Forbidden" when going to You need to login to view this link ?
User avatar #24 to #23 - drfreeman (11/14/2012) [-]
make that .net. sorry my friend
thanks for pointing that out, I assumed it You need to login to view this link
User avatar #15 - penguindumb (11/09/2012) [-]
Ahahhahaha that last one cracked me up! fancy!
#20 - dreamtheory (11/09/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Well... this sucks.

I love reading these.
User avatar #17 - KillerKlownKKK (11/09/2012) [-]
Dude, I run the sales department for Envision Printing, And I swear those are my clients OMG People are ******* STUPID!!!!!!

This Girl is ordering business cards for her Mobile Dog Grooming Service. She emails me saying to make the cards "Laminated" So I call her back to tell her about the adjustment in cost (alot more). She flips out and says "How the hell in laminating the cards that much more" so I tell her "Mam you want 5,000 cards laminated how much did you think that was gonna cost?" So she pauses and says "Well how come I see so many people with shiny business cards? They spend that much for Shiny cards?" So I say "No shiny is no charge shiny is in your order were it says "High Gloss" Cards" So she says "OH well that's what i want, You don't have to make me feel stupid" I just exhale and say "Stupid is as stupid does mam"
#8 - skords (11/09/2012) [+] (1 reply)
As a Graphics Designer myself, I should let everyone know that semi-bold is valid. It is font-weight: 600; (usually).
#6 - anonymous (11/09/2012) [-]
That last one. So much derp.
#12 - TheMarcus (11/09/2012) [-]
I lost my **** at the 34th floor thing, please send me an IM if you find it.
Pic related its the crap i lost
afroadam
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