Clients From Hell 13. Stories aren't mine. I would kill myself. Check my profile for the others! Clients From him Not Ott Me: “We can' t pr tags
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Clients From Hell 13

Clients From Hell 13. Stories aren't mine. I would kill myself. Check my profile for the others! Clients From him Not Ott Me: “We can' t pr

Stories aren't mine. I would kill myself. Check my profile for the others!

Tags: tags
Clients From him
Not Ott
Me: “We can' t print this; this image is really low
resolution, even for a " dpi thing off the web. It' s
literally 300 pixels and we are printing it on a 6x9 inch
Boss: “It' s Fme, Just go with it.”
Me: "But we are a commercial our own ads
look like crap, why should anyone hire us?”
Boss: “We Just have opposing philosophies.”
I received a call from a prospective client yesterday. I
knew it was going to be a long conversation when the
First word out of her mouth were, “I' m not going to lie,
Pm Bipolar, But Pm taking medication so I should be
able to get through this phone can."
CLIENT: “Can you make the headline ?”
CLIENT: "Yes. Bold is too bold and unbolt isn' t bold
enough. I think it needs to Be .''
ME: a... I can bold every other letter."
CLIENT: “I don' t need to know the technical details, as
ME: “Is it landscape or portrait?"
CLIENT: “It' s a bit of Both, actually.”
ME: “Really, how so?”
CLIENT: "Wen, there' s a woman in the foreground. But
there is a mountain behind her."
CLIENT: "Sorry to cancel at the last minute, But we felt
your contract was Just... too legal.”
ME: “Well, I should hope so... what exactly was the
CLIENT: “I mean it' s not very - you ask for
payment on such and such a date with this 5%
monthly penalty if we don' t make it... it' s all Just too
ME: Here' s a link to the development version of the new
site. Pm going to develop a separate version for mobile
Browsing, so if you look at it on a phone, you' ll get an
error message for now.
CLIENT: It doesn' t work.
Sent from my iphone.
We would like to get for unplanned outages
days In advance."
A client who doesn' t understand the of
Do you have to reprint the calendar Couldn' t we Just tell
people February has two extra days in it? You know, like
a double leap year."
CLIENT Bring this to our accountant on the 34th natter and
they will give you your money.
ME: Got it.
CLIENT: Do you know where the 34th natter is?
I point up.
CLIENT: That' s right. Do you you know how to get there?
ME: The elevator!
CLIENT: I was thinking the stairs, But -
He looks at the other person working at reception, who
CLIENT: Yes, that will also work.
ME: Okay, I have rendered all the images you requested an
saved them into one .psd, and also included a folder with —
raw .tiffs should you want to make any changes yourself.
A few minutes later...
CLIENT: Hey, yeah um, all of these mes are .tiffs and I
requested photoshop documents... Could you do that for m - .
ME: They already are in a PSD, named ''. pstt''.
CLIENT: Yes, But I checked the folder called "raw" and
they' re all tiffs, I cant use these Because I don' t know what
they are. Just please provide me with photoshop document .
ME: Have you checked the ''. pstt'".
CLIENT: Yes, But Ijust need photoshop documents for all
those tiffs instead.
I save each PSD individually to correspond with each TIFF
and email her again, letting her know that they are there.
CLIENT: Oh, PSD stands for photoshop document! Wow, I
never knew that'. Hah you Idam something new everyday,
eh? Now, If you could Just compile all of these images into
one photoshop document, we should be good to go'.
Views: 21753 Submitted: 11/08/2012
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#1 - pointlessviolence
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(11/08/2012) [-]
I like reading these but my blood pressure has other plans...
I like reading these but my blood pressure has other plans...
#3 - vaskaduzea
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
the last one, the last one .. i wanted to ******* break my screen
User avatar #4 - PubLandlord
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
To be fair the Semi bold thing sounds pretty genuine
#9 - abdullahmag
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
that last one....
User avatar #10 - itrooztrooperdown
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
Let me guess. You are a young and qualified person that knows a lot aobut this computer stuff. Your clients are middle aged or old man that didn't know what a computer is for half of their lives. Please give them a break... Not everybody is a genius.

Most of the people that hire a company like the one you work in just want RESULT. They don't give a **** about a facts. I wouldn't give a ****. I hire a company to make me... say a website, I don't give a single **** about the fact that you are doing a developement site to show me how is it going and that I can't see it with my iPhone. I just know three words. Site, good and bad. Site good is when it works, everywhere. Site bad is when it doesn't work. So I want site good and I know no further.

Maybe for you they are dumb... but for them you would be the one that is a young genius.
#16 to #10 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
DOUBLE LEAP YEAR! That's plain dumb
User avatar #18 to #10 - drfreeman [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
Lmfao **** got real serious. I honestly would hope that some of these weren't real
User avatar #11 to #10 - goodguygary
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
you do know this is a composition of many stories from the website in the description?
User avatar #13 to #11 - itrooztrooperdown
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
No I don't =( man I tought it was the same ****** all the time, ty for the info. I regret my words but leave them for the shame.
User avatar #14 to #13 - goodguygary
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
should read the description more often, would clear up a lot of things, sometimes
#2 - captainwow
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
But semi-bold IS a type of font.

But semi-bold IS a type of font.
#5 - bfc
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
You can get a font thickness between regular and bold called medium.
You can get a font thickness between regular and bold called medium.
#23 - kanudaman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/14/2012) [-]
Am I the only one getting "403 Forbidden" when going to ?
User avatar #24 to #23 - drfreeman [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/14/2012) [-]
make that .net. sorry my friend
thanks for pointing that out, I assumed it You need to login to view this link
#25 to #24 - kanudaman
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/14/2012) [-]
no problem =)
User avatar #15 - penguindumb
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
Ahahhahaha that last one cracked me up! fancy!
#6 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(11/09/2012) [-]
That last one. So much derp.
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