Clients From him
Me: “We can' t print this; this image is really low
resolution, even for a " dpi thing off the web. It' s
literally 300 pixels and we are printing it on a 6x9 inch
Boss: “It' s Fme, Just go with it.”
Me: "But we are a commercial our own ads
look like crap, why should anyone hire us?”
Boss: “We Just have opposing philosophies.”
I received a call from a prospective client yesterday. I
knew it was going to be a long conversation when the
First word out of her mouth were, “I' m not going to lie,
Pm Bipolar, But Pm taking medication so I should be
able to get through this phone can."
CLIENT: “Can you make the headline ?”
CLIENT: "Yes. Bold is too bold and unbolt isn' t bold
enough. I think it needs to Be .''
ME: a... I can bold every other letter."
CLIENT: “I don' t need to know the technical details, as
ME: “Is it landscape or portrait?"
CLIENT: “It' s a bit of Both, actually.”
ME: “Really, how so?”
CLIENT: "Wen, there' s a woman in the foreground. But
there is a mountain behind her."
CLIENT: "Sorry to cancel at the last minute, But we felt
your contract was Just... too legal.”
ME: “Well, I should hope so... what exactly was the
CLIENT: “I mean it' s not very - you ask for
payment on such and such a date with this 5%
monthly penalty if we don' t make it... it' s all Just too
ME: Here' s a link to the development version of the new
site. Pm going to develop a separate version for mobile
Browsing, so if you look at it on a phone, you' ll get an
error message for now.
CLIENT: It doesn' t work.
Sent from my iphone.
We would like to get for unplanned outages
days In advance."
A client who doesn' t understand the of
Do you have to reprint the calendar Couldn' t we Just tell
people February has two extra days in it? You know, like
a double leap year."
CLIENT Bring this to our accountant on the 34th natter and
they will give you your money.
ME: Got it.
CLIENT: Do you know where the 34th natter is?
I point up.
CLIENT: That' s right. Do you you know how to get there?
ME: The elevator!
CLIENT: I was thinking the stairs, But -
He looks at the other person working at reception, who
CLIENT: Yes, that will also work.
ME: Okay, I have rendered all the images you requested an
saved them into one .psd, and also included a folder with —
raw .tiffs should you want to make any changes yourself.
A few minutes later...
CLIENT: Hey, yeah um, all of these mes are .tiffs and I
requested photoshop documents... Could you do that for m - .
ME: They already are in a PSD, named ''. pstt''.
CLIENT: Yes, But I checked the folder called "raw" and
they' re all tiffs, I cant use these Because I don' t know what
they are. Just please provide me with photoshop document .
ME: Have you checked the ''. pstt'".
CLIENT: Yes, But Ijust need photoshop documents for all
those tiffs instead.
I save each PSD individually to correspond with each TIFF
and email her again, letting her know that they are there.
CLIENT: Oh, PSD stands for photoshop document! Wow, I
never knew that'. Hah you Idam something new everyday,
eh? Now, If you could Just compile all of these images into
one photoshop document, we should be good to go'.