Captain Canada

dont make me ride my moose to your igloo

Well you'd better be wearing a good thick toque cause i'm gonna smack ya in the head with my hockey stick eh?

sorry

Sorry 'boot that..

May i have my boot back?

sorry

^Well you'd better be wearing a good thick toque cause I wouldn't want you to catch a cold and have that ruin your appetite for the delicious pancakes and maple syrup I've made to apologize

I don't think anyone's offended by jokes about your country.

Why would you need to be offended? Canada has kicked America's ass once before. I'm pretty damn sure you could do it again. The world should be in total fear of you guys.

Seriously, though. Please don't hurt us...

What are you talking about?

America tried to invade Canada in the 1800s. Canada proceeded to kick America's ass and push them back.

"canada kicked america's asses"

because you know, england had nothing to do with that.

Have you EVER studied the war of 1812? You should read this because clearly you need to be educated. The US kicked major ass in the War of 1812 and here's how it actually happened.
The US declared war on Great Britain because of their embargo on America's trade with France which the US argued was a violation of international law. There was also the deal with US citizenship where former British citizens renounced their citizenship and chose to adopt American citizenship, something the British government didn't recognize.
The US didn't have a capable navy of fighting the British on the other side of the Atlantic, but guess what was up north? The British empire. The US half expected the French-Canadians to join on our side since they resented the British and help us, but they didn't. The first waved failed.
HOWEVER! The US actually did break though and even pushed into upper Canada. We burned down their capital and York (now Toronto). We won many significant victories including the Battle of Lake Erie, Baltimore, Plattsburgh etc. After Plattsburgh the British ordered a cease fire which the US agreed due to both countries being unable to finance the war. By 1814 (when the war escalated) the British had sent over 48,000 troops, add in the 10,000 First Nation troops and Canada's grand total of 2.400. Yeah so no Canada wasn't even a factor in this war.

Despite the peace treaty (which opened trade and recognized US citizenship which is what we wanted) the Battle of New Orleans happened and the US literally beat the fucking shit out of the Brits.

TL;DR: America kicked major ass in the war, gained everything it wanted and afterwards it was celebrated in national pride as a major American victory

False.
1. The British successfully defeated the American advance into what is present day Canada.
• A notable achievement was the Battle of Queenston Heights (which is celebrating its 200th anniversary tomorrow) where Laura Secord informed the British about an invasion force heading to Niagara. It was a British victory and Sir Isaac Brock died in that battle.
• Also notable is when the British burned down the White House and other buildings in Washington.

2. It was a British defeat in the "liberation" of what is now the United States of America.
• A notable battle was the battle of New Orleans where 10000 British regulars were defeated by 4000 militia.
• Also notable is that the present American National Anthem was created during the naval bombardment of Fort McHenry.

Both Canada and the US teach that the outcome of the war was a tie. Both sides failed to take what whey wanted, and both sides successfully defended their land.

Perhaps you should review the notes you too from your history class.
I don't know what "history" you learned, but it is not the history the rest of the world recognizes.

First wave the US lost but the US did burn down York and your parliament

I agree it's a tie. I did say that it is held as a US victory, but I said that was AFTER the war. AFTER the war. I agree it was a tie. That's why I mentioned the cease-fire. The Treaty of Ghent is where the US got the deal of open trade (which negated the British embargo) and recognized US citizenship. So yeah the US did get what it wanted, but the US did NOT get it's ass kicked

kinda did just like in Vietnam bitch

But Vietnam also ended in a cease fire in 1972. Both sides knew the war was useless. They got together to negotiate at the Paris Peace Accords and the Vietcong agreed NOT to invade the South if the US pulled out. There was peace during those months but once the US left the North violated the agreement.
The US couldn't invade the North without provoking the Soviet Union into getting involved in the war and potentially starting WWIII

to begin it did not end with the treaty the fighting still continued till 1975 cease fire or not 90% of the world agrees that the us lost by way of wasting human life for nothing and if i remember correctly they being the us killed a bunch of there own so they could attack Vietnam

It doesn't matter what people think it's what the facts say
www.history.com/this-day-in-history/paris-peace-accords-signed
http://militaryhistory.about.com/od/vietnamwar/a/VietnamEnd.htm

The US ended direct involvement in 1973. Yes fighting continued, it was a CIVIL war between the North and the South. Like I said the North VIOLATED the agreement. Ask any random person on the street what the Paris Peace Accords in 1973 said and I assure you they won't know.

Wasting human life for nothing? That depends on what you classify as nothing. Was protecting an otherwise helpless country that didn't want to succumb to a hostile government nothing? It was literally no different than the Korean war, only the Korean war was a UN intervention.

Unless you want to count on conspiracy theories it's hard to determine. But yeah sure maybe they faked it. But here's the kicker NO ONE DIED! It's really no different than when the US overreacted to the Spanish attack for the Spanish American War.

Vietnam War: "The Tonkin incident", where American destroyer Maddox was supposedly attacked twice by three North Vietnamese torpedo boats in 1964 in the Gulf of Tonkin never happened. What was happening at the time were aggressive South Vietnamese raids against the North in the same general area. Huge American presence wasn't decisive and President Nixon negotiated a "peace with honour" in 1973. This war was lost, when North Vietnam finally conquered South Vietnam in 1975.

Yeah the North won the war but at that point the US wasn't in it anymore. Hence why we pulled out during the Paris Peace Accords. Did you forget that the North only invaded once the US had removed all their troops? That's not a loss. Sure the South lost, but the North pulled a bull shit move. But at that point it wasn't the US's problem anymore.
Oh an the GoTI happened when LBJ was President. And by the way the US did open fire on a Northern ship. The South didn't want to be under Communist rule.
Perhaps you should read more into this dude

naw it is just fun to troll around piss off the interwebz and get into useless debates

Obtaining knowledge is NEVER a waste of time

touché my friend alas it is time for this ugly old troll to move onto unconquered territory. i've always like the sound of Albuquerque maybe i shall go there but i better get a map do want to take a wrong turn.

WE BURNED YOUR SHIT DOWN. YOUR WHITE HOUSE WAS A SITE TO SEE WHEN IT WAS DUST.
York was NEVER the capital of Canada.
It was Kingston.
The British took over LOTS of American territory.
"After Madison's message, the House of Representatives deliberated for four days behind closed doors before voting 79 to 49 (61% in favor) the first declaration of war, and the Senate agreed by 19 to 13 (59% in favor). The conflict began formally on June 18, 1812, when Madison signed the measure into law." - wiki


"Meanwhile in London on May 11, an assassin killed Prime Minister Spencer Perceval, which resulted in Lord Liverpool coming to power. Liverpool wanted a more practical relationship with the United States. He issued a repeal of the Orders in Council, but the United States was unaware of this, as it took three weeks for the news to cross the Atlantic.[40] In response to the US declaration of war, Isaac Brock issued a proclamation alerting the citizenry in Upper Canada of the state of war and urging all military personnel "to be vigilant in the discharge of their duty" to prevent communication with the enemy and to arrest anyone suspected of helping the Americans." - wiki

"By 1814, both sides had achieved their main war goals and were weary of a costly war that offered little but stalemate. They both sent delegations to a neutral site in Ghent, Belgium. The negotiations began in early August and concluded on December 24, when a final agreement was signed; both sides had to ratify it before it could take effect. Meanwhile both sides planned new invasions." - wiki

"On February 1, 1796, the capital of Upper Canada was moved from Newark (now Niagara-on-the-Lake) to York (now Toronto), which was judged to be less vulnerable to attack by the Americans."
"York was an enticing target for the Americans. Although the town was the capital of Upper Canada (now Ontario) and the province's government buildings were located there, it was only weakly defended. The British were also developing a naval base at York, which was intended to eventually supersede Kingston."

Yes York was your capital at the time. Kingston was a major strong for your navy hold that they retreated back to.

I hate to tell you this but the White House held no important significance. Had you gotten your grimy hands on the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence then maybe you would have something to talk about.

You arrogant fucks may like to take credit for things you didn't do but and you may say shit about the US but at least we never, NEVER, brag about burning down your capital. Something you Canucks can't seem to ever admit.

Nothing you gave me deters the fact that the US declared war because of British hostility. Go back to wikipedia and read the reasons the war started. You had, actually no, you were still sucking off the empire's cock while the US, a fresh country with relatively no money and no more than several thousands soldiers took on the largest empire in the world and still nearly won.
Battle of Lake Erie? We took back most of the land and territory after we drove the British back up into Canada and then embarrassed them at New Orleans

TL;DR Icecap was made.

delicious

The US had a civil war that tore it apart and killed so many people, Canada's Only ever civil war lasted 10 minutes, was fought in a bar, and only 1 man died, and he was american FACT

And the UK had a civil war too. Damn near almost every country has had a civil war. The US was divided into states that were pretty much their own countries. Civil war was bound to happen and so what if it did?
The Southern states had a completely different mind set and were upset about the cotton tariffs that the North implemented in order to have them become more industrialized. No one expected the war to escalate the way it did, many assumed it would have ended after the Battle of Bullrun where the victor would have won the war.
Canada was still apart of the British empire and sorry to tell you this but countries that actually run themselves without crying to mommy tend to have problems.
When did you guys finally grow the balls to stop sucking off the UK? 1982 when they decided to give you the authority to have external governing powers? Yeah nice Canada

The dog is only allowed to go as far as his master allows. You're still the UK's bitch. Now excuse me, us real countries have shit to do

USA USA USA YOU'RE #1 !

An inaccurate map from 2002 that actually was completely wrong?
www.mapsofworld.com/world-top-ten/countries-by-highest-death-rate-from-he art-disease.html
China is the #1 polluter mr #7
The US isn't the worse crime rated country in the world
usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/06/11/12170947-fbi-violent-crime-rates-in-the-us-drop-approach-historic-lows?lite
www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/21/highest-divorce-rates-in-_n_798550.html#s211139&title=Czech_Republic

The US ranks 4th in McDonalds behind NZ, Australia and guess what? CANADA!

Brazil has the highest plastic surgery too

Next time do a little research and not rely on bull shit statistics you found from the internet like 10 years ago

It sounds to me like you're all out of comebacks : )

Haha i'm getting bored of arguing with a typical American

Oh yeah I am a "typical" American. We're also #1 for working out. Which I do.
Perhaps you didn't know the studies go by height to weight ratio and are only 30% reliable as admitted by the CDC. But you Canadians would know that right?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ButtHurt

Sounds to me like you still don't have any combacks?
But you know you're the one replying and you were the one that started thumbing down so I see you Canadians love to self project

You know you Canadians are pretty good at suicide. Maybe you should give it a try? You know go the Amanda Todd route?

Hahaha oh the butt hurt.. 'MURICA

half of the images you just posted are from American TV.

Sounds to me like someone is getting a little upset

aboot

you guys are the nicest people I've ever encountered, you scare me.

shut the fuck up, go beat a seal or something you nationalistic prick.

it's abooot time i apologized to the seals, sorry

Sorry :(

I think you mean wolverine?

Jackman is aussie.

He's the largest Ackman you will ever find.

He looks like 2d.

Sentry was a product of weapon X??

Don't forget the telephone, insulin, and basketball!

And America is Canada's underwear.

why would a hat have underwear?

Laughed harder then I should have.

\/ What he said

For when he accidently shits himself his pants would still be clean.

I get so confused when I see the word aye used for canadians. Is it pronounced the same way I would use it, as a scot?

everything goes except being rude?

French Canadians ......that is all i need to say

we do not consider Quebec as part of Canada

Quebec would be a great place to go if it wasn't for all the French Canadians.

I'm pretty happy with the Aussie guy they already used in The Avengers (Yes I know his character isn't Aussie but still counts).

No his accent ruined it for me. Thor has a mighty booming Asgurdian voice. He's not Australian.

Yeah he was alright.