The Internet

a grape

That's a lot of edible porn.

thanks guys i didnt think this was even that witty but i came back and im in the top 60 comments :D

all the red stuff, I guess

My guess would be a berry large percentage of it.

more like a watermelon

YOU'D BE AS SMART AS 98% SEX...!
OH AND SOME WIKIPEDIA PAGES...

Freakazoid.

candlejack

Who the hell is Candleja-

there is no hyphen in a candlejack thre

What? I'm not sure what exactly you mean about hyphens there. I think it's pretty obvious he's just making a joke, like if you say the name then this character gets you. It's ridiculous, of course, to assume stating someones name could summon them, just like that, but it's all in good fun. Like, how could simply saying Candlej-

okay, jokes aside, hyphens are the end are for ninja threads. you don't have time to type a hyphen after candlejack kills yo

Candlejack doesn't kill you, h

he does wha

Candlejack takes you awa

If that were to happen, you taking a shit would be the equivalent to inventing a new language and solving world hunger.

Before you could shit, you'd have to donate to Wikipedia.

UNLIMITED POWER

You'd be one massive porno.

I would assume you would have a nice shit later unless of course you become constipated.

All the porn from the internet would be in your head.

Then eat the strawberry and voilá you are the internet now.

Then eventually he would shit the internet out and it would be back to its original form.
A piece of shit.
Just kidding I would kill myself if I didn't have internet.

Not really. He's saying that you can plug an RJ-45 Ethernet cable into anything weighing about as much as a strawberry and download the internet.

The seeds would be how much isn't porn

9.11*10^(-31)kg to be precise. But it's wrong anyway, 540 billion trillion electrons is either 0.0005g or 500000g depending on whether you're using an american or a british value for a billion and a trillion.