Amazing tips to improve your life. . AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. IF CHEKING ON AN FEE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A {SUP OF WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTA! THE BLOC
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Amazing tips to improve your life

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF CHEKING ON AN FEE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A {SUP OF
WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTA! THE BLOCKAGE WILL
INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLIDING VEGETABLES BY
GEEH' GNG SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS “SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF
AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE
ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM GLICK WILL
PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GGING BACK TO SLEEP
AFTER YOU HIT THE ) BUTTON.
all IF YOU HAVE A BAD GEUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.
THEN VGU' LL BE AFRAID TO GEUGH.
...
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Views: 89575
Favorited: 519
Submitted: 09/24/2012
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Comments(224):

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#11 - huszti (09/24/2012) [+] (11 replies)
i should stop browsing fj when i'm at work. it could be suspicious if i randomly start laughing   
about no. 3: why using the sink when you can pee while showering?
i should stop browsing fj when i'm at work. it could be suspicious if i randomly start laughing
about no. 3: why using the sink when you can pee while showering?
User avatar #14 to #11 - teatime (09/24/2012) [-]
you pee only twice a year?
#2 - thedudest (09/24/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Feeling hot?? Shove ice cubes up your ass!!
#38 - oodlesandoodles (09/24/2012) [+] (4 replies)
And now we wait for some stupid bastard to take the bait
And now we wait for some stupid bastard to take the bait
User avatar #25 - roflstorm (09/24/2012) [+] (4 replies)
ok first off, wtf are you doing eating a whole ice cube?
second of all, are you saying that instead of choking on an ice cube, i should pour scalding hot water down my throat?
#27 to #25 - 4chan refugee (09/24/2012) [-]
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?

No it's the joke flying right over your head....
#145 - giustobuffo (09/24/2012) [-]
ONE TIME I WAS CHOKING ON SOME SNOW BUT THEN THE SNOW MELTED AND TURNED INTO WATER. CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM?
#72 - pmilooo (09/24/2012) [+] (5 replies)
I actually thought number 1 was real...
I actually thought number 1 was real...
#71 - esmebuffay (09/24/2012) [-]
I might try number 5.
#165 - kez (09/24/2012) [+] (1 reply)
You forgot one

If you fall over in public and its really embarrising. Dont get up and dust your self off or pretend like it didnt hurt.

Stay down and dont move.

No ones going to laugh at someone they think is seriously injured. You may also get a free drink or food item from strangers.
#193 - zakvanloocke (09/25/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Oh 						****					 I coughed!
Oh **** I coughed!
#82 - gmarrox (09/24/2012) [+] (1 reply)
Number 6 was the funniest. I guess you could say it made me




Lose my **** .
#133 - frysfrys (09/24/2012) [+] (11 replies)
Well, regardless of whether you cough or not, you're still going to end up ******** your pants if you just stay where you are. Laxatives pretty much loosen up your anus.
User avatar #137 to #133 - heartlessrobot (09/24/2012) [-]
So does buttsex with a horse.
+22
#64 - wildebrony **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#208 - moustachefingers (09/25/2012) [+] (4 replies)
Another tip:     
   
When you are frustrated, a good way to relieve tension is to place 1/2 a tooth pick under your big toe, and kick a wall with as much force as possible.
Another tip:

When you are frustrated, a good way to relieve tension is to place 1/2 a tooth pick under your big toe, and kick a wall with as much force as possible.

#204 - greenthegunstar (09/25/2012) [-]
Nice try, I'm not falling for that a fourth time.
#59 - XxMyNameIsChancexX (09/24/2012) [-]
mfw last tip.
#9 - nsfwanon (09/24/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Didn't laugh until the last one, then I completely lost my 						****					   
   
Although number 5 might come in handy, I snooze like a 						************
Didn't laugh until the last one, then I completely lost my ****

Although number 5 might come in handy, I snooze like a ************
#12 to #9 - natanhiel (09/24/2012) [-]
Did you cough?
#131 - bobodevetjedan (09/24/2012) [-]
Finally something funny on funnyjunk!
#67 - letusbecereal (09/24/2012) [-]
The third one.
User avatar #112 - exclamation (09/24/2012) [+] (3 replies)
Don't use boiling for number 1.

That might hurt.

Like ******* crazy.
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